“We’ve had a difficult time keeping tutors,” the housekeeper whispered to me.

“No kidding,” I said. “I bet you have a hard time keeping the wallpaper with a kid who looks like that.”

The housekeeper left the room and promptly shut the door behind her. For a second, I was afraid I might be locked in. Had I been tricked? Was this kid about to eat me?

“So, what are they teaching you kiddos these days?” I asked him.

He just glared at me and stuck his lip out even more.

“You don’t talk much, do you, um… Napoleon,” I said, reading the nameplate on his desk.

Still, the kid didn’t say anything. I searched the classroom for something I could teach him and noticed a large globe of the Otherworld near the chalkboard. The boy dropped his arms and looked up at the globe mesmerized, like he had never seen anything so beautiful.

“How about some geography?” I pointed to France. “Do you know what this is, Napoleon?”

“Mine?” he said. I was surprised the little spawn could talk. He had a voice like an angry Chihuahua.

“Close, but you live here on the island of Corsica. Can you tell me what this is?” I said and pointed to Italy.

“Mine?” he said, and eerily raised an eyebrow.

“No,” I said. “That’s Italy. I had a good friend once who lived there. His name was Leonardo da Vinci. Maybe one of your old tutors taught you about him?”

The kid wasn’t interested in anything but the map, so I decided to stick to it.

“How about this country?” I asked. “I’ll give you a hint. It starts with an E.”

“Mine?” he said. Maybe his previous tutors had only stuck around long enough to teach him one word?

“No, that’s Egypt. What about this big one in the corner? Do you know what that is?” I asked, pointing to Russia.

A wicked little smirk grew on Napoleon’s face. “Mine…,” he whispered sinisterly to himself. It was so trippy, I was afraid his head would spin next.

“You’d better start raising an army now if you expect the whole world to be yours one day, Napoleon,” I chuckled.

I don’t think Napoleon realized I was kidding, because he suddenly dashed out of the classroom, knocking his desk over as he went. What a little creep. I’m going to ask for a raise.