Eventually, the samurai caught up with us. A samurai warlord known as Oda Nobunaga, or Cowabunga, as I called him, invaded our area and wiped out all the ninja clans in the providence, including Koka. The survivors fled to the Kii Mountains, and we’ve been here since. We spend each day plotting our revenge, but I think I’m beginning to lose interest.

It’s been one heck of an experience—I never thought ninja warrior would be something I could add to my résumé—but I’m ready to go home. There are certain moments in your life when you look around and realize you don’t belong, and this is one of those moments. It feels just like the time we joined Christopher Columbus’s ship thinking it was a Mediterranean cruise.

I’m not sure Lester is cut out for a life of espionage anyway. All this ninjutsu seems to be going to his head. Lately, he’s insisted I refer to him only as the crane. It’ll be good for both of us to get out of this mountain air and get back to our day jobs.