NEAL STEPHENSON

Naturally, this will lead to a bulk problem if people try to use the donation bucket as a dumping ground for bundles of old billion. and trillion.dollar bills. The Buildings and Grounds people are worried about waste-disposal problems and the po. tential fire hazard that may ensue if large piles of billions and trillions begin to mount up. Therefore, a key feature of the new regulation is that the donation bucket must be emptied every day-more often if an excessive build-up situation is seen to develop.

In this vein, the B & C people would also like me to point out that many of you who have excess U.S. currency to get rid of have been trying to kill two birds with one stone by using old billions as bathroom tissue. While creative, this approach has two drawbacks:

1) It clogs the plumbing, and

2) It constitutes defacement of U.S. currency, which is a federal crime.

DON’T DO IT.

Join your office bathroom-tissue pool instead. It’s easy, it’s

hygienic, and it’s legal.