SNOW CRASH
yacht, he just looked at the guy and said, ‘What do you think lam, a Vanderbilt?’ Hawl Well, anyway, welcome aboard my yacht.”
L. Bob Rife says this while standing on a huge open-air platform elevator along with the interviewer and the whole camera crew. The elevator is going up. In the background is the Pacific Ocean. As Rife is speaking the last part of the line, suddenly the elevator rises up to the top and the camera turns around, and we are looking out across the deck of the aircraft carrier Enterprise, formerly of the U.S. Navy, now the personal yacht of L. Bob Rife, who beat out both General Jim’s Defense System and Admiral Bob’s Global Security in a furious bidding war. L. Bob Rife proceeds to admire the vast, flat open spaces of the carrier’s flight deck, likening it to certain parts of Texas. He suggests that it would be amusing to cover part of it with dirt and raise cattle there.
Another profile, this one shot for a business network, apparently made somewhat later: Back on the Enterprise, where the captain’s office has been massively reworked. L. Bob Rife, Lord of Bandwidth, is sitting behind his desk, having his mustache waxed. Not in the sense that women have their legs waxed. He’s having the curl smoothed out and restored. The waxer is a very short Asian woman who does itso delicately that it doesn’t even interfere with his talking, mostly about his efforts to extend his cable TV network throughout Korea and into China and link it up with his big fiber-optic trunk line that runs across Siberia and over the (Jrals.
“Yeah, you know, a monopolist’s work is never done. No such thing as a perfect monopoly. Seems like you can never get that last one-tenth of one percent.”
“Isn’t the government still strong in Korea? You must have more trouble with regulations there.”
L. Bob Rife laughs. “Y’know, watching government regulators trying to keep up with the world is my favorite sport. Remember when they busted up Ma Bell?”
“Just barely.” The reporter is a woman in her twenties.
“You know what it was, right?”
“Voice communications monopoly.”
“Right. They were in the same business as me. The information business. Moving phone conversations around on little tiny