SNOW CRASH

___________ If it had been full of water, that wouldn’t have been so bad, maybe the car would have been saved, he wouldn’t owe CosaNostra Pizza a new car. But no, he does a Stuka into the far wall of the pool, it sounds more like an explosion than a crash. The airbag inflates, comes back down a second later like a curtain revealing the structure of his new life: he is stuck in a dead car in an empty pool in a TMAWH, the sirens of the Burbclave’s security police are approaching, and there’s a pizza behind his head, resting there like the blade of a guillotine, with 25:17 on it.

“Where’s it going?” someone says. A woman.

He looks up through the distorted frame of the window, now rimmed with a fractal pattern of crystallized safety glass. It is the Kourier talking to him. The Kourier is not a man, it is a young woman. A fucking teenaged girL She is pristine, unhurt. She has skated right down into the pool, she’s now oscillating back and forth from one side of the pool to the other, skating up one bank, almost to the lip, turning around, skating down and across and up the opposite side. She is holding her poon in her right hand, the electromagnet reeled up against the handle so it looks like some kind of a strange wide-angle intergalactic death ray. Her chest glitters like a general’s with a hundred little ribbons and medals, except each rectangle is not a ribbon, it is a bar code. A bar code with an ID number that gets her into a different business, highway, or FOQNE.

1’Yor she says. “Where’s the pizza going?”

He’s going to die and she’s gamboling.

“White Columns. 5 Oglethorpe Circle,” he says.

“I can do that. Open the hatch.”

His heart expands to twice its normal size. Tears come to his eyes. He may live. He presses a button and the hatch opens.

On her next orbit across the bottom of the pool, the Kouner yanks the pizza out of its slot. The Deliverator winces, imagining the garlicky topping accordioning into the back wall of the box. Then she puts it sideways under her arm. It’s more than a Deliverator can stand to watch.

But she’ll get it there. Uncle Enzo doesn’t have to apologize for ugly, ruined, cold pizzas, just late ones.

“Hey,” he says, “take this.”

The Deliverator sticks his black-clad arm out the shattered