Haïta the Shepherd
In the heart of Haïta the illusions of youth had
not been supplanted by those of age and experience. His thoughts
were pure and pleasant, for his life was simple and his soul devoid
of ambition. He rose with the sun and went forth to pray at the
shrine of Hastur, the god of shepherds, who heard and was pleased.
After performance of this pious rite Haïta unbarred the gate of the
fold and with a cheerful mind drove his flock afield, eating his
morning meal of curds and oat cake as he went, occasionally pausing
to add a few berries, cold with dew, or to drink of the waters that
came away from the hills to join the stream in the middle of the
valley and be borne along with it, he knew not whither.
During the long summer day, as his sheep cropped
the good grass which the gods had made to grow for them, or lay
with their forelegs doubled under their breasts and chewed the cud,
Haïta, reclining in the shadow of a tree, or sitting upon a rock,
played so sweet music upon his reed pipe that sometimes from the
corner of his eye he got accidental glimpses of the minor sylvan
deities, leaning forward out of the copse to hear; but if he looked
at them directly they vanished. From this—for he must be thinking
if he would not turn into one of his own sheep—he drew the solemn
inference that happiness may come if not sought, but if looked for
will never be seen; for next to the favor of Hastur, who never
disclosed himself, Haïta most valued the friendly interest of his
neighbors, the shy immortals of the wood and stream. At nightfall
he drove his flock back to the fold, saw that the gate was secure
and retired to his cave for refreshment and for dreams.
So passed his life, one day like another, save when
the storms uttered the wrath of an offended god. Then Haïta cowered
in his cave, his face hidden in his hands, and prayed that he alone
might be punished for his sins and the world saved from
destruction. Sometimes when there was a great rain, and the stream
came out of its banks, compelling him to urge his terrified flock
to the uplands, he interceded for the people in the cities which he
had been told lay in the plain beyond the two blue hills forming
the gateway of his valley.
“It is kind of three, O Hastur,” so he prayed, “to
give me mountains so near to my dwelling and my fold that I and my
sheep can escape the angry torrents; but the rest of the world thou
must thyself deliver in some way that I know not of, or I will no
longer worship thee.”
And Hastur, knowing that Haïta was a youth who kept
his word, spared the cities and turned the waters into the
sea.
So he had lived since he could remember. He could
not rightly conceive any other mode of existence. The holy hermit
who dwelt at the head of the valley, a full hour’s journey away,
from whom he had heard the tale of the great cities where dwelt
people—poor souls!—who had no sheep, gave him no knowledge of that
early time, when, so he reasoned, he must have been small and
helpless like a lamb.
It was through thinking on these mysteries and
marvels, and on that horrible change to silence and decay which he
felt sure must some time come to him, as he had seen it come to so
many of his flock—as it came to all living things except the
birds—that Haïta first became conscious how miserable and hopeless
was his lot.
“It is necessary,” he said, “that I know whence and
how I came; for how can one perform his duties unless able to judge
what they are by the way in which he was intrusted with them? And
what contentment can I have when I know not how long it is going to
last? Perhaps before another sun I may be changed, and then what
will become of the sheep? What, indeed, will have become of
me?”
Pondering these things Haïta became melancholy and
morose. He no longer spoke cheerfully to his flock, nor ran with
alacrity to the shrine of Hastur. In every breeze he heard whispers
of malign deities whose existence he now first observed. Every
cloud was a portent signifying disaster, and the darkness was full
of terrors. His reed pipe when applied to his lips gave out no
melody, but a dismal wail; the sylvan and riparian intelligences no
longer thronged the thicket-side to listen, but fled from the
sound, as he knew by the stirred leaves and bent flowers. He
relaxed his vigilance and many of his sheep strayed away into the
hills and were lost. Those that remained became lean and ill for
lack of good pasturage, for he would not seek it for them, but
conducted them day after day to the same spot, through mere
abstraction, while puzzling about life and death—of immortality he
knew not.
One day while indulging in the gloomiest
reflections he suddenly sprang from the rock upon which he sat, and
with a determined gesture of the right hand exclaimed: “I will no
longer be a suppliant for knowledge which the gods withhold. Let
them look to it that they do me no wrong. I will do my duty as best
I can and if I err upon their own heads be it!”
Suddenly, as he spoke, a great brightness fell
about him, causing him to look upward, thinking the sun had burst
through a rift in the clouds; but there were no clouds. No more
than an arm’s length away stood a beautiful maiden. So beautiful
she was that the flowers about her feet folded their petals in
despair and bent their heads in token of submission; so sweet her
look that the humming birds thronged her eyes, thrusting their
thirsty bills almost into them, and the wild bees were about her
lips. And such was her brightness that the shadows of all objects
lay divergent from her feet, turning as she moved.
Haïta was entranced. Rising, he knelt before her in
adoration, and she laid her hand upon his head.
“Come,” she said in a voice that had the music of
all the bells of his flock—“come, thou art not to worship me, who
am no goddess, but if thou art truthful and dutiful I will abide
with thee.”
Haïta seized her hand, and stammering his joy and
gratitude arose, and hand in hand they stood and smiled into each
other’s eyes. He gazed on her with reverence and rapture. He said:
“I pray thee, lovely maid, tell me thy name and whence and why thou
comest.”
At this she laid a warning finger on her lip and
began to withdraw. Her beauty underwent a visible alteration that
made him shudder, he knew not why, for still she was beautiful. The
landscape was darkened by a giant shadow sweeping across the valley
with the speed of a vulture. In the obscurity the maiden’s figure
grew dim and indistinct and her voice seemed to come from a
distance, as she said, in a tone of sorrowful reproach:
“Presumptuous and ungrateful youth! must I then so soon leave thee?
Would nothing do but thou must at once break the eternal
compact?”
Inexpressibly grieved, Haïta fell upon his knees
and implored her to remain—rose and sought her in the deepening
darkness—ran in circles, calling to her aloud, but all in vain. She
was no longer visible, but out of the gloom he heard her voice
saying: “Nay, thou shalt not have me by seeking. Go to thy duty,
faithless shepherd, or we shall never meet again.”
Night had fallen; the wolves were howling in the
hills and the terrified sheep crowding about Haïta’s feet. In the
demands of the hour he forgot his disappointment, drove his sheep
to the fold and repairing to the place of worship poured out his
heart in gratitude to Hastur for permitting him to save his flock,
then retired to his cave and slept.
When Haïta awoke the sun was high and shone in at
the cave, illuminating it with a great glory. And there, beside
him, sat the maiden. She smiled upon him with a smile that seemed
the visible music of his pipe of reeds. He dared not speak, fearing
to offend her as before, for he knew not what he could venture to
say.
“Because,” she said, “thou didst thy duty by the
flock, and didst not forget to thank Hastur for staying the wolves
of the night, I am come to thee again. Wilt thou have me for a
companion?”
“Who would not have thee forever?” replied Haïta.
“Oh! never again leave me until—until I—change and become silent
and motionless.”
Haïta had no word for death.
“I wish, indeed,” he continued, “that thou wert of
my own sex, that we might wrestle and run races and so never tire
of being together.”
At these words the maiden arose and passed out of
the cave, and Haïta, springing from his couch of fragrant boughs to
overtake and detain her, observed to his astonishment that the rain
was falling and the stream in the middle of the valley had come out
of its banks. The sheep were bleating in terror, for the rising
waters had invaded their fold. And there was danger for the unknown
cities of the distant plain.
It was many days before Haïta saw the maiden again.
One day he was returning from the head of the valley, where he had
gone with ewe’s milk and oat cake and berries for the holy hermit,
who was too old and feeble to provide himself with food.
“Poor old man!” he said aloud, as he trudged along
homeward. “I will return tomorrow and bear him on my back to my own
dwelling, where I can care for him. Doubtless it is for this that
Hastur has reared me all these many years, and gives me health and
strength.”
As he spoke, the maiden, clad in glittering
garments, met him in the path with a smile that took away his
breath.
“I am come again,” she said, “to dwell with thee if
thou wilt now have me, for none else will. Thou mayest have learned
wisdom, and art willing to take me as I am, nor care to
know.”
Haïta threw himself at her feet. “Beautiful being,”
he cried, “if thou wilt but deign to accept all the devotion of my
heart and soul—after Hastur be served—it is thine forever. But,
alas! thou art capricious and wayward. Before to-morrow’s sun I may
lose thee again. Promise, I beseech thee, that however in my
ignorance I may offend, thou wilt forgive and remain always with
me.”
Scarcely had he finished speaking when a troop of
bears came out of the hills, racing toward him with crimson mouths
and fiery eyes. The maiden again vanished, and he turned and fled
for his life. Nor did he stop until he was in the cot of the holy
hermit, whence he had set out. Hastily barring the door against the
bears he cast himself upon the ground and wept.
“My son,” said the hermit from his couch of straw,
freshly gathered that morning by Haïta’s hands, “it is not like
thee to weep for bears—tell me what sorrow hath befallen thee, that
age may minister to the hurts of youth with such balms as it hath
of its wisdom.”
Haïta told him all: how thrice he had met the
radiant maid, and thrice she had left him forlorn. He related
minutely all that had passed between them, omitting no word of what
had been said.
When he had ended, the holy hermit was a moment
silent, then said: “My son, I have attended to thy story, and I
know the maiden. I have myself seen her, as have many. Know, then,
that her name, which she would not even permit thee to inquire, is
Happiness. Thou saidst the truth to her, that she is capricious for
she imposeth conditions that man can not fulfill, and delinquency
is punished by desertion. She cometh only when unsought, and will
not be questioned. One manifestation of curiosity, one sign of
doubt, one expression of misgiving, and she is away! How long didst
thou have her at any time before she fled?”
“Only a single instant,” answered Haïta, blushing
with shame at the confession. “Each time I drove her away in one
moment.”
“Unfortunate youth!” said the holy hermit, “but for
thine indiscretion thou mightst have had her for two.”