A Resumed Identity
I
THE REVIEW AS A FORM OF WELCOME
One summer night a man stood on a low hill
overlooking a wide expanse of forest and field. By the full moon
hanging low in the west he knew what he might not have known
otherwise: that it was near the hour of dawn. A light mist lay
along the earth, partly veiling the lower features of the
landscape, but above it the taller trees showed in well-defined
masses against a clear sky. Two or three farmhouses were visible
through the haze, but in none of them, naturally, was a light.
Nowhere, indeed, was any sign or suggestion of life except the
barking of a distant dog, which, repeated with mechanical
iteration, served rather to accentuate than dispel the loneliness
of the scene.
The man looked curiously about him on all sides, as
one who among familiar surroundings is unable to determine his
exact place and part in the scheme of things. It is so, perhaps,
that we shall act when, risen from the dead, we await the call to
judgment.
A hundred yards away was a straight road, showing
white in the moonlight. Endeavoring to orient himself, as a
surveyor or navigator might say, the man moved his eyes slowly
along its visible length and at a distance of a quarter-mile to the
south of his station saw, dim and gray in the haze, a group of
horsemen riding to the north. Behind them were men afoot, marching
in column, with dimly gleaming rifles aslant above their shoulders.
They moved slowly and in silence. Another group of horsemen,
another regiment of infantry, another and another—all in unceasing
motion toward the man’s point of view, past it, and beyond. A
battery of artillery followed, the cannoneers riding with folded
arms on limber and caisson. And still the interminable procession
came out of the obscurity to south and passed into the obscurity to
north, with never a sound of voice, nor hoof, nor wheel.
The man could not rightly understand: he thought
himself deaf; said so, and heard his own voice, although it had an
unfamiliar quality that almost alarmed him; it disappointed his
ear’s expectancy in the matter of timbre and resonance. But
he was not deaf, and that for the moment sufficed.
Then he remembered that there are natural phenomena
to which some one has given the name “acoustic
shadows.”47 If you stand in an acoustic shadow there is
one direction from which you will hear nothing. At the battle of
Gaines’s Mill, one of the fiercest conflicts of the Civil War, with
a hundred guns in play, spectators a mile and a half away on the
opposite side of the Chickahominy valley heard nothing of what they
clearly saw. The bombardment of Port Royal, heard and felt at St.
Augustine, a hundred and fifty miles to the south, was inaudible
two miles to the north in a still atmosphere. A few days before the
surrender at Appomattox a thunderous engagement between the
commands of Sheridan and Pickett was unknown to the latter
commander, a mile in the rear of his own line.
These instances were not known to the man of whom
we write, but less striking ones of the same character had not
escaped his observation. He was profoundly disquieted, but for
another reason than the uncanny silence of that moonlight
march.
“Good Lord!” he said to himself—and again it was as
if another had spoken his thought—“if those people are what I take
them to be we have lost the battle and they are moving on
Nashville!”
Then came a thought of self—an apprehension—a
strong sense of personal peril, such as in another we call fear. He
stepped quickly into the shadow of a tree. And still the silent
battalions moved slowly forward in the haze.
The chill of a sudden breeze upon the back of his
neck drew his attention to the quarter whence it came, and turning
to the east he saw a faint gray light along the horizon—the first
sign of returning day. This increased his apprehension.
“I must get away from here,” he thought, “or I
shall be discovered and taken.”
He moved out of the shadow, walking rapidly toward
the graying east. From the safer seclusion of a clump of cedars he
looked back. The entire column had passed out of sight: the
straight white road lay bare and desolate in the moonlight!
Puzzled before, he was now inexpressibly
astonished. So swift a passing of so slow an army!—he could not
comprehend it. Minute after minute passed unnoted; he had lost his
sense of time. He sought with a terrible earnestness a solution of
the mystery, but sought in vain. When at last he roused himself
from his abstraction the sun’s rim was visible above the hills, but
in the new conditions he found no other light than that of day; his
understanding was involved as darkly in doubt as before.
On every side lay cultivated fields showing no sign
of war and war’s ravages. From the chimneys of the farmhouses thin
ascensions of blue smoke signaled preparations for a day’s peaceful
toil. Having stilled its immemorial allocution48 to the
moon, the watchdog was assisting a negro who, prefixing a team of
mules to the plow, was flatting and sharping contentedly at his
task. The hero of this tale stared stupidly at the pastoral picture
as if he had never seen such a thing in all his life; then he put
his hand to his head, passed it through his hair and, withdrawing
it, attentively considered the palm—a singular thing to do.
Apparently reassured by the act, he walked confidently toward the
road.
II
WHEN YOU HAVE LOST YOUR LIFE CONSULT A PHYSICIAN
Dr. Stilling Malson, of Murfreesboro, having
visited a patient six or seven miles away, on the Nashville road,
had remained with him all night. At daybreak he set out for home on
horseback, as was the custom of doctors of the time and region. He
had passed into the neighborhood of Stone’s River battlefield when
a man approached him from the roadside and saluted in the military
fashion, with a movement of the right hand to the hatbrim. But the
hat was not a military hat, the man was not in uniform and had not
a martial bearing. The doctor nodded civilly, half thinking that
the stranger’s uncommon greeting was perhaps in deference to the
historic surroundings. As the stranger evidently desired speech
with him he courteously reined in his horse and waited.
“Sir,” said the stranger, “although a civilian, you
are perhaps an enemy.”
“I am a physician,” was the non-committal
reply.
“Thank you,” said the other. “I am a lieutenant, of
the staff of General Hazen.” He paused a moment and looked sharply
at the person whom he was addressing, then added, “Of the Federal
army.”
The physician merely nodded.
“Kindly tell me,” continued the other, “what has
happened here. Where are the armies? Which has won the
battle?”
The physician regarded his questioner curiously
with half-shut eyes. After a professional scrutiny, prolonged to
the limit of polite-ness, “Pardon me,” he said; “one asking
information should be willing to impart it. Are you wounded?” he
added, smiling.
“Not seriously—it seems.”
The man removed the unmilitary hat, put his hand to
his head, passed it through his hair and, withdrawing it,
attentively considered the palm.
“I was struck by a bullet and have been
unconscious. It must have been a light, glancing blow: I find no
blood and feel no pain. I will not trouble you for treatment, but
will you kindly direct me to my command—to any part of the Federal
army—if you know?”
Again the doctor did not immediately reply: he was
recalling much that is recorded in the books of his
profession—something about lost identity and the effect of familiar
scenes in restoring it. At length he looked the man in the face,
smiled, and said:
“Lieutenant, you are not wearing the uniform of
your rank and service.”
At this the man glanced down at his civilian
attire, lifted his eyes, and said with hesitation:
“That is true. I—I don’t quite understand.”
Still regarding him sharply but not
unsympathetically the man of science bluntly inquired:
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-three—if that has anything to do with
it.”
“You don’t look it; I should hardly have guessed
you to be just that.”
The man was growing impatient. “We need not discuss
that,” he said; “I want to know about the army. Not two hours ago I
saw a column of troops moving northward on this road. You must have
met them. Be good enough to tell me the color of their clothing,
which I was unable to make out, and I’ll trouble you no
more.”
“You are quite sure that you saw them?”
“Sure? My God, sir, I could have counted
them!”
“Why, really,” said the physician, with an amusing
consciousness of his own resemblance to the loquacious barber of
the Arabian Nights,49 “this is very interesting. I met
no troops.”
The man looked at him coldly, as if he had himself
observed the likeness to the barber. “It is plain,” he said, “that
you do not care to assist me. Sir, you may go to the devil!”
He turned and strode away, very much at random,
across the dewy fields, his half-penitent tormentor quietly
watching him from his point of vantage in the saddle till he
disappeared beyond an array of trees.
III
THE DANGER OF LOOKING INTO A POOL OF WATER
After leaving the road the man slackened his pace,
and now went forward, rather deviously, with a distinct feeling of
fatigue. He could not account for this, though truly the
interminable loquacity of that country doctor offered itself in
explanation. Seating himself upon a rock, he laid one hand upon his
knee, back upward, and casually looked at it. It was lean and
withered. He lifted both hands to his face. It was seamed and
furrowed; he could trace the lines with the tips of his fingers.
How strange!—a mere bullet-stroke and a brief unconsciousness
should not make one a physical wreck.
“I must have been a long time in hospital,” he said
aloud. “Why, what a fool I am! The battle was in December, and it
is now summer!” He laughed. “No wonder that fellow thought me an
escaped lunatic. He was wrong: I am only an escaped patient.”
At a little distance a small plot of ground
enclosed by a stone wall caught his attention. With no very
definite intent he rose and went to it. In the center was a square,
solid monument of hewn stone. It was brown with age, weather-worn
at the angles, spotted with moss and lichen. Between the massive
blocks were strips of grass the leverage of whose roots had pushed
them apart. In answer to the challenge of this ambitious structure
Time had laid his destroying hand upon it, and it would soon be
“one with Nineveh50 and Tyre.”51 In an
inscription on one side his eye caught a familiar name. Shaking
with excitement, he craned his body across the wall and read:
HAZEN’S BRIGADE
to
The Memory of Its Soldiers
who fell at
Stone River, Dec. 31, 1862.
to
The Memory of Its Soldiers
who fell at
Stone River, Dec. 31, 1862.
The man fell back from the wall, faint and sick.
Almost within an arm’s length was a little depression in the earth;
it had been filled by a recent rain—a pool of clear water. He crept
to it to revive himself, lifted the upper part of his body on his
trembling arms, thrust forward his head and saw the reflection of
his face, as in a mirror. He uttered a terrible cry. His arms gave
way; he fell, face downward, into the pool and yielded up the life
that had spanned another life.