I was learning a little bit about relationships. Having a man wasn’t as easy as I imagined it would be, but still worth it. Khalil would have to deal with my moods the same way I dealt with his and so far he had. So when he seemed distant the day after moving the last couple of boxes out of his house I didn’t worry about it too much.

He sat around the house and decided to watch college football instead of riding out to the mall with me. A little pissed, I decided to keep the disappointment to myself. I reasoned that he was dealing with some type of feelings behind the move.

“I may not be here when you get back,” he said as I gathered my belongings to head out the door. “I spilled a can of paint on the floor last night and I need to go get it cleaned up. The tenants are coming to get the keys tomorrow.”

“Okay. I’ll see you when you get back. I hope you’re in a better mood.” He didn’t say a word but I noticed that he was nursing a glass of Hennessy.

I headed for Annapolis Mall and decided to ignore his funky attitude. I was going to kill him with kindness. As superficial as it may have been, I believed that a new watch and a bag full of gifts would cure anyone’s crankiness. I stopped off at Pier One first and then headed over to the mall. I was thrilled to find a spot near the door outside of Nordstrom.

I waved to one of the managers, who knew my face, which was a sure sign that I shopped too much. I couldn’t resist scanning through the latest pairs of True Religion and Seven jeans. I ended up buying a couple pairs of each.

As I made my way out into the mall my cell rang. The ring-tone belonged to Cheron. “Hey, girl you ready for tonight?” I asked. Tonight was the night that Cheron was going to meet the client who I hadn’t canceled with. In fact, he’d wired the money to me two weeks prior.

“That’s what I was calling you for. I’m not going to be able to make it.”

“What do you mean? Why would you want to cancel?”

“I don’t want to cancel but my period came on. I’m cramping and I have a migraine that is kicking so bad that I’ve already thrown up twice. There’s no way I can make it.”

“And why the hell are you calling me with this now? You’re supposed to meet this man in a few hours.”

“You can’t call someone else?”

“Like who?”

“I don’t know. I’m sorry. Believe me, I would have dragged myself out if it was just the cramps, but when my period came flowing like crazy a couple hours ago, I knew it was a wrap.” She paused for a second.

“Well he had the money sent over via wire last week, cash. It was twelve grand.”

“Shit,” she screamed out through the line. “Well why can’t you just do it since it’s your last time anyway.”

“Because the last time was my last time. I’m in a relationship.”

“Wow.”

“What’s all that?” I asked.

“I mean this sudden blast of morality is mind-boggling. You’ve fucked married men for years and now you don’t want to cheat on your boyfriend because it’s wrong.” She laughed.

I didn’t like her tone. “Cheron, fuck you and now I see what I get for trying to help you out.”

“Screw this guy. He’s paid you already and you’re about to cut that phone off anyway, right?”

“I don’t get down like that. I’ve never cheated anyone out of their money. Fair exchange is no robbery and I sleep well behind that. Plus this guy is pretty well-connected; I wouldn’t want to make an enemy over twelve grand.”

“For twelve grand, I’d make O.J. my enemy.”

“Let me call him and see what I can do,” I said, hanging the phone up in her ear. Then I realized that I’d left my other cell phone in the car.

I walked into the Bose store to price a new Wave system to surprise Khalil. It was expensive but it didn’t make any difference. The same thing applied when I grabbed him a pair of LeBrons, of Evisu jeans, and of Gucci shades. I was determined to cheer him up. In all, he’d be sporting a fifteen-hundred-dollar smile. He could act funky if he wanted to. He would find himself ducking from the stereo instead of listening to it.

Climbing back into the car I went into the compartment in the trunk and grabbed the other cell to call the client. With Khalil gone I’d have time to return the money and show up at the house to help him get the floor cleaned up. “Hello, Brian. This is Honey.”

“Hey, I can’t wait to see you. Are you available to come earlier than we discussed?”

“Well there’s been a little problem and I’m going to need to return the money to you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Something has come up at the last minute and I won’t be able to entertain you tonight.”

“You call and tell me this at the last minute. I have to tell you I really don’t appreciate this.”

“Like I said, I’ll return the money to you personally, I can have it to you within the next couple of hours. You can call another ser vice…”

“If I wanted another ser vice, I’d have gotten one from the jump. You were highly recommended. Miles called you the best and I settle for no less than that. What if I wait until tomorrow or later in the evening?”

“Well actually, I’m stepping away from the business. Moving on to some other things.”

“So you are saying that I won’t be able to indulge in your company at any time in the future either,” he huffed out.

“I’m sorry, but like I said, I’ll bring the money to you right away. Just tell me where you are.”

“My wife is going to be so disappointed. She has been so stressed lately and she was really open to trying something new. She’s been distant lately and I needed this spark. What would you say if I doubled that money, for the same three hours?”

“I’d say thanks but no thanks.”

He was silent, thinking. “I’m at the Bethesda Marriott Suites right by NIH. Room 1114. I want every penny of the money here in an hour.” He was angry and suddenly the nice-guy routine was out the window. All men reacted the same way when they didn’t get what they wanted. All except Khalil.

I blasted my sister Mary’s CD as I sped home to get the money for him. I cursed Cheron the entire way but realized there was nothing that she could have done. Mother Nature was the queen bitch.

I climbed the stairs and found the suitcase where I’d kept the envelope stashed. I yanked it out and counted it up. Forty fifties and one hundred hundred-dollar bills. He’d know that his money meant nothing to me as I hadn’t touched it. I thought about changing my clothes out of habit, but I wanted to get it over with as soon as possible.

Back out the door I reasoned that my having to return this money personally was akin to my actually closing the door on this phase of my life myself. I needed to do it and as I sped toward the Capital Beltway my mind played pictures of the life I’d lived. I couldn’t really put my finger on the lesson that I’d learned from the things I’d done. The only thing that bothered me was that now I had a secret, a past that my man would be ashamed of.

I wondered if that in fact was a lesson or just one of life’s laws. We all do things we’re ashamed of, some of us for a living.

“Nice car ma’am,” the bellman said as he helped me out.

“I won’t be but a moment. Can I leave it here?”

“Unfortunately, no. They give out two-hundred-dollar tickets out here in the blink of an eye. Are you checking in?”

“Just running upstairs to drop something off for a friend.”

“Well, you leave the keys and as long as no one comes by I’ll leave it here. Worst case I’ll have the valet take it for you.”

“Thanks,” I said, catching his eyes going up and down my body. I gave him a ten-dollar bill and hit the revolving door.

I reached Brian’s door and knocked hard and deliberately. “Just a moment,” he called out from the other side.

The door swung open and he stood there, surprisingly tall and handsome. He looked a little too earthy though to be a lawyer, with the short dreds and five-o’clock shadow. He reminded me of an older Eric Benet. “Hello. Again, I just want to apologize for the inconvenience. Here’s the money. I can wait here while you count it.”

“Please, Honey, step inside for just a moment. I also want to apologize for the tone I took with you. Things happen and I had no right to get indignant with you.”

I nodded and stepped in. He went on, “It’s just that I’ve been trying to get my wife to go along with this for a while and now that she finally agreed to it, you canceled on me.” He walked to the wet bar and emptied the envelope. “Can I offer you a drink?”

“No thanks. I just wanted to return the money and be on my way.”

He was counting. When he finished he pulled a second envelope from his pocket and asked, “Are you sure you won’t take this? It’s another twelve thousand.”

“I’m leaving.” I turned to walk out the door.

“How about just to watch she and I? You keep the twelve I gave you originally. All you have to do is watch me make love to my wife. That’s it.”

He was desperate. For some reason I stopped and listened to him. I didn’t need the money, but I loved it. The part of me that lived to separate fools from their money had been stirred. “All you have to do is watch us. One time. Twenty, thirty minutes tops.”

I paused for a minute and he sensed my indecision. “She just got in the shower. I’m going to join her. You could just wait until you hear us and then come into the room and take a seat. Like I said, if you don’t want to join in you don’t have to. But if you do, you can take all of that,” he pointed at the stack on the counter.

His words, smooth and convincing, had me out there. In that second I recalled why I did this. It was for the power. It had never been about the sex. And while it had been how I made money, the only way I had been able to do it for all these years was because of the rush I got. “I’ll take the twelve I brought here. When you two are finished, I’m leaving.”

“Fair enough.” He stood, dimmed the lights in the room where I was, and I watched him walk into the other room, which was illuminated only by candles, and shut the door.

I waited for a moment and my heart began to beat from my indecisiveness. I should leave, I thought. Set the money down and leave.

I grabbed one of the bottles from the counter and twisted the top. I chugged down the liquor without reading the label on the tiny bottle. I took a second and then I sat down in the chair. “This is the last time,” I whispered to myself.

Time must have moved quickly because I heard movement in the room in no time flat. I got up and walked to the door. The room was dimly lit by only a single candle on the nightstand. It was enough light for me to see that Brian was on top of his wife, kissing her passionately. I leaned back against the wall and watched while trying to go unnoticed until it was over. He began to work his way down her body with his mouth, giving her small doses of pleasure the entire way.

A minute passed and he was now tongue-deep in her pussy, causing her to moan like a woman possessed. Brian was sexy, but I had no desire to touch him. I knew then that I was completely into Khalil. I might as well have been watching two robots.

There were oooohhs and aaaahhs galore. They were excited at the idea of being watched. I had made a mistake in staying. I was over this. I had to admit though that when he began sawing in and out of her, I felt the twinges of moisture begin to form in between my legs.

They changed positions and she was now on top of him with her back to me. He was staring around her trying to make eye contact with me. I stared at him, giving him what he wanted for the twelve grand he was spending. He then motioned for me to come closer to the bed where his woman was riding him.

I obliged him. Now a foot away from the bed, he asked me to caress his wife’s breasts. I shook my head no. He then continued to push up and into her. I did run my fingers through her hair. She had shoulder-length locks that were surprisingly soft. She seemed to rise and fall higher onto her husband once I’d began running my fingers through her hair. Suddenly Brian yelled out, “Grab her breasts, make her come. Take all the money.”

Without thinking, I reached forward and cupped her breast, flicking my finger over her nipples before pinching them. The second I touched her she seemed to go over the edge.

“Oh gawd, yesss, babeeee. I’m about to…uhhhhhhggggghhhhh.” She erupted into a series of grunts and jerks as she had her orgasm.

He began to moan, “I’m coming too. Yesssss, oh shit.”

I stepped back as I watched her collapse onto her husband. I stood up off of the bed and he called my name. “Honey.”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure you can’t stay with us?”

“No…I can’t…” as I was speaking he flipped the light on. His wife and I made eye contact and I wanted to die.

It took her a second to figure it out, but I knew instantly that his wife was Khalil’s therapist.

I turned and raced for the door. I was so upset that I left the rest of the money on the counter—a first.