When she walked through the door and saw the house completely empty except for the last two boxes and a bag of trash that were sitting by the window I saw the look on her face. It was the first time that she had to face the finality of what was going on.
“How did this happen, Khalil?” I was sitting on a stepladder, my body positioned like the statue The Thinker while I tried to come up with an answer that might make some sense. “How did we get here? Two months ago we were going to be married. Now you’ve given up the house that we were going to raise a family in to be with her.”
I knew she needed this, to vent. I had no idea what would be safe to say. “Rorrie, I don’t really know how it happened.”
“Did you ever love me?”
“Of course I did.”
“What did I do wrong? Did I dream too big? Was it my career, the time I had to spend away?”
I shook my head no. “I did love you.”
“So you don’t anymore?” Giving me no time to answer she asked, “Do you love her?”
It slipped off of my lips like a song: “Yes.”
The tears burst from her like a sudden volcanic eruption. She fell to her knees and began to whimper like a baby. Over her cries her words were almost completely inaudible. “Why?”
I moved to her. “I’m sorry.” I put my hand on her back.
“I…loved you. I did all of this for you. I wanted to be a success for you.”
“No, you did that because it’s your calling to be a doctor.”
“What is it about her? What can she do for you? She doesn’t have anything.”
I felt her pain as the images of the house we lived in now flashed through my mind as well as the Bentley. It would have crushed her to know that. “It’s not about that.”
“Well what’s it about? Is it about the pussy? Are you leaving me because of how she fucks? Because I can tell you all about that, about how she got a man killed over her and how her mother died because she was selling her pussy.”
I shook my head in disgust. “I know you’re hurt but…”
“But nothing. Hailey is a whore. You’ve left me for a whore.”
Growing angry, I said, “I agreed to see you so that we could talk, not to hear you go on about her.”
“We are talking. We’re talking about you leaving me, the girl who loved you when your raggedy ass was striving to hold a camera at a fucking Bison game for free. When you were waking up trembling like a bitch at night, I was right there chasing those demons away. You were a week away from St. Elizabeth’s, Khalil. Do you remember that? Does she know that I nearly had to get your ass committed?”
“Rorrie, leave. Fuck this. I tried to talk to you. I wanted you to feel better, but you came to be nasty.”
“What did you expect?” She stood up. “A motherfucker I’m engaged to starts creeping while I’m working my residency, trying to build my career for our future and you expect me to come in here and talk all nice. You’re leaving me for Hailey, Honey…whatever you call her. She’s always been a selfish bitch, a liar, and a whore. I hope you get exactly what you deserve.” With that she stood up and kicked over one of the boxes, sending the contents out onto the floor.
We both watched as the can of paint that was inside poured out onto the floors. I looked at her with eyes that showed my patience had vacated. “What you gonna do?”
“Just leave, Rorrie.”
“Fuck you. I’ll burn this motherfucker to the ground.”
“Leave.”
She stood in my face and her scowl conveyed that her love for me had now disappeared. “Fuck you.”
I looked at the paint and imagined another day’s work, trying to clean the floor. My anger got the best of me and I grabbed her by her neck. “Get out of here.”
“Before what?” she gargled out.
“Rorrie, don’t push me.”
She approached me and took a swing at me, slapping me. I laughed to keep from exploding. She tried it a second time and I grabbed her hand. With her free hand she reached for my crotch. “What’s this? You want to say good-bye to me. A proper good-bye?”
I jerked away feeling violated and oddly attracted to her. We’d always had adequate sex but maybe what we’d always missed was the natural sexual connection. Rorrie had always been willing to try anything, but usually it felt forced or too much like she was trying to be more sexual than she really was. Right now though, she was different. No love, just anger and pain. I couldn’t figure it out then but perhaps all that I knew about love and attraction was that together or separate, they brought anger and pain.
“Leave, all right?”
“Fuck you,” she said again. “I’ll leave, after you fuck me one last time.”
“You’ll leave now.” I grabbed her and pushed her toward the door. She began to struggle.
I had her in the foyer and reached for the door when she blurted out, “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re lying.” I stopped in my tracks.
She grabbed her purse and pulled out a package. “These are prenatal vitamins.”
“Rorrie, you work in a hospital. This means nothing.”
“You think I’d go through all of this to deceive you.”
“I do.”
She stepped back and as we locked eyes she lifted the black dress that looked more like a shirt up over her breasts. The first thing I noticed was that her belly-button ring was gone. I was shocked when I actually noticed a bulge. Then she rubbed her belly. “I have a small hump, but it’s coming and look at these.” The dress was now up on her neck. She wasn’t wearing a bra and her nipples did look a little puffy as they stood at attention. She had a pair of white cotton-and-lace panties on. She leaned back on the wall. “I know you don’t want me though. I know you’ll want me to have an abortion. Two kids at one time…”
“She’s…” I cut myself short. She hadn’t paid me any attention. Instead her hand had slipped down inside of her underwear.
“Just let me feel you this last time and I’ll leave you alone. You won’t have to worry about anything.”
I stood there as she began to masturbate in front of me. I didn’t realize that I had begun to watch her intently. In my mind I was merely looking for a clear sign that she was lying about being with child, but my eyes were locked on her fingers as she began to moan.
As quickly as she’d kicked the paint over I found myself behind Rorrie, thrusting into her as I bent her over the steps. “That’s it Daddy, fuck me hard.”
I couldn’t deny that as good as Honey’s pussy was I was still enjoying the familiar wetness and feel of Rorrie’s womanhood. As I pounded her I thought about our first date, a play at the Warner Theatre and how we ended up tearing each other apart in her apartment that night. I thought about the plans we’d made to be together. “Yes, yes, yeahhhhhh,” she screamed.
I pounded harder, knocking her head into the steps. I continued to ravage her as if I were a man possessed. “Ohhh, shit,” she yelled. I lost all track of time and space intent on doing one thing, tattooing her ass as if she’d stolen from me.
I grabbed her by her hair and yanked her head back as I bulldozed into her hard enough to knock a building down. Her knees buckled and she cried out, “Uhhhhhhhhh, I’mmmm coming.”
I fucked her hard through her orgasm until I felt her go dry and I continued to pound her like a piece of meat. “It’s starting to hurt, Khalil,” she said softly. This only caused me to increase the ferocity of my assault.
A few minutes later she realized that her plan had backfired as she began to cry. “My hair, you’re hurting me.”
I continued. Nothing but heat and friction. My loins banging against her ass. “Stop.”
Finally I let go of her hair and gripped only her hips as I reached my peak. With no care or affection, I pulled out of her. “Ouch,” she yelped. I stepped back and yanked my underwear up.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she said as she took a seat on the steps looking as if she’d been beaten-down. She was holding herself. “Shit, my pussy hurts.”
We stared at each other again.
“Are you sure you’re pregnant?”
“Positive.”
I had a smirk on my face. “So, I guess you’ll be leaving me the hell alone for good.”
“What are you talking about? I know you don’t want a baby with me.”
“Rorrie, shut the hell up,” I yelled, sounding like I’d gone mad. She recoiled. “I told you a lot about me over the years and some real shit that happened to me. But there are some things that I didn’t tell you.”
I had her full attention.
“Like what?”
“Like, there’s a pretty good chance that I’m fucking sterile. The disease that I caught from Tenille in middle school might’ve ruined me. All this time we’ve been together there has to be a reason why I’ve never gotten you pregnant. I know this is just a lie you’re telling to keep me. Have some dignity.”
I didn’t believe in ghosts but you’d have thought that from the look on her face, she’d seen one. “Now, Rorrie, just leave and never try to contact me again.”
“Please, Khalil. Let me explain.”
“Nothing to explain. It looks like you shouldn’t be calling anyone a whore.”
“Please.”
This time my strength scared her as I yanked her from the steps and pushed her out of the door. “What about her? She said she was pregnant.”
One final push and the door slammed in her face in more ways than one.