CHAPTER six
JANE HAD NEVER PLAYED HOOKY BEFORE, but
when she woke up Tuesday morning, head throbbing, she told her dad
she felt sick and wanted to stay home. He had better things to
worry about and so said only, “I’ll call it in.”
She crawled back into bed, and soon the house was
quiet and then it turned out she couldn’t sleep. She had the “Bath”
key on her night table and she kept turning it over in her hands,
as if it might suddenly develop a mouth and tell her what it
opened.
Eventually, she pulled on some clothes and went out
into the yard and down to Birdie’s Bavarian Bar and started to pull
out costumes while also setting aside a few things that would go on
her museum list.
Looking at the bird getups, it occurred to her that
maybe cutting them up and using them to make a mermaid costume
wasn’t the best idea. To help her decide, she put one of them on.
She picked a green one—the same color as the mermaid doll’s fin—and
then she found the matching headpiece, a feathery plume—and stood
in front of the old mirror. She looked ridiculous. And so it was
decided that she’d set aside one costume to save for the
family—maybe for a Halloween party somewhere down the line—and then
another for the museum, just in case they’d want that sort of
thing. That left her three costumes to work with. Green. Orange.
And yellow. Perfect.
It was possible the whole mermaid funeral would
never happen, of course. But if it did she wanted to be ready. She
wanted to prove to anyone who ever doubted it that she could be a
mermaid.
And a damn good one.
So she put on some old records and found some
scissors and pins and grabbed the mermaid doll from her room for
inspiration and got to work. Eventually, she moved the operation
out to the yard when it was clear that the sequins and glitter
could not be contained. Soon the small lawn—which was actually
beginning to turn green—sparkled in the sun.
Marcus stepped out into the yard after school and
slumped into a metal chair that was covered with a layer of green
seeds that had fallen off a tree behind the bait-and-tackle shop.
Jane had quickly bagged up a lot of the dead vines and leaves in
order to have more room to work in and had uncovered, in the
process, a white swan, a birdbath, and a two-headed gnome. Marcus
rested his hand on the gnome head closest to his chair, as if it
were a pet dog.
“So what’s the deal with the Dreamland Social
Club?” he said after he watched her work for a while.
“How should I know?” She was cutting a fin, this
one out of the green sparkling costume. She’d already made most of
the bodice and only prayed it would fit when she actually tried it
on.
“I thought you belonged,” he said.
“I don’t know why you’d think that,” she said, and
it felt sort of wrong, since her mother was his mother, too, and
she wanted him to know, but it was also sort of fun.
“Whatever,” he said. “It’s not like I really
care.”
After a pause during which Jane’s scissors could be
heard splicing fabric, he said, “I got my first letter.”
Jane stopped cutting and looked up, eyebrows
questioning.
“NYU,” he said. “I’m in.”
“That’s awesome,” she said.
“Congratulations.”
“I was thinking of living on campus.”
Jane nodded and went back to cutting. “You
should.”
Marcus said, “You’re happy we might be staying,
aren’t you?”
“I guess,” she said.
He took a tree seed off the arm of the chair and
split it and tried to get it to helicopter though the air, with
moderate success. “I see it,” he said. “The thing with Leo.”
“What do you see?”
“Hard to say,” he said. “But something.”
“Well, it’s not that,” she said, wanting to move
on. “Or it’s not just that. Not that that is ever even going
to happen. I’m sick of moving. It’s getting boring. It’s nice to
feel like I have roots here. Somewhere. Anywhere.”
“I’ll tell you one thing, though.” He patted the
gnome’s head. “If you’re staying, you can’t go on like this. With
all this old crap around.”
“I was thinking of giving some of it to the
museum,” she said. “I started a list.”
He looked up at the back of the house. “Maybe you
can just airlift the whole place over.”
“So you don’t mind?”
“You know me.” Marcus shrugged. “Not the
sentimental type.”
She really did have to talk to Grandpa Claverack
about the horse, but she had been letting herself be easily
sidetracked, since she was sort of dreading having to see Freddy
and his ponytail again. But it was the right thing to do to tell
the old man he could have it, to maybe even show him the entry in
Birdie’s journal that explained it all, or at least explained some
of it. Just thinking of Birdie’s journal awakened that old
itch.
And my God, the doodling.
“Okay, so here’s question, Mr. Unsentimental. If,
totally hypothetically, you found Mom’s diary”—Jane lifted the
fin-shaped fabric—“would you read it?”
“You found Mom’s diary?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “It really is hypothetical. I think
it’s probably gone.”
Marcus tilted his head. “I would probably read it.
But just out of curiosity. And probably only once.”
Jane looked up now. “And then you’d what, throw
it out?”
“It would depend, I guess. On if it was any good,
if it said anything meaningful. But I’ve read some diaries in my
day, and most of them suck.”
“Whose diaries have you read?”
“Doesn’t matter.” He looked at his watch and got
up. “I guess what I’m saying is, I’d have pretty low expectations.
And I certainly wouldn’t expect it to solve the great mystery of
life.”
On another day maybe she would have argued with
him, would have said he was wrong. But maybe he had a point. There
were things worth keeping and things worth letting go of, and
figuring out which was which wasn’t that easy. Do you save an old
journal if it’s boring? Do you save an old bar if it’s got
rats?
Her fin was ready to be attached to the tail bit
that she’d laid out on the table, so she pinned it in a few places,
then slipped on the whole sequined concoction. Her entire lower
half sparkled in the sun.
“It’s cool,” Marcus said before heading back into
the house. “But the fin needs to be, I don’t know, firmer?”
A bell tinkled overhead when, a few minutes later,
she pushed open the door of the bait-and-tackle shop next door in
search of some stiff wire. There was no one at the cash register,
but a male voice in some back room called out, “Right with
ya!”
She started to cruise the aisles, looking for
something that might help her fin stay finlike. She passed stacks
of crab and lobster traps and endless spools of fishing line. There
were rubber worms and tackle boxes and hooks as far as the eye
could see. A refrigerator-freezer in the back right corner held
boxes labeled FROZEN SEA BAIT. There were knives and scales and
lamps and batteries and fishing rods and rod bags and a million
other items Jane had never seen before. Overwhelmed, she wondered
whether maybe she’d do better at a regular hardware store or a
99-cent store. Just because she was trying to make a mermaid didn’t
mean a shop for fishermen would have the right stuff.
“Can I help you?”
Jane turned and saw an old man standing at the end
of the aisle. He wore black pants tucked into big rubber boots and
had white hair and wore a black-and-gold sailor’s cap. He was
smoking a pipe, and the woody aroma suddenly filled the room.
“I’m not sure,” Jane said, thinking maybe she’d
just back away down the aisle and out the door.
“You’re that gal who lives next door,” he
said.
Jane nodded, then realized she shouldn’t have. What
if he was a psycho? Now he knew where she lived.
“Preemie’s grandkid, right?” He puffed his
pipe.
“Right.” It was too late to deny it.
“I miss that idiot.” He shook his head. “Couldn’t
fish to save his life but acted like he was Hemingway.” He looked
Jane over. “How about you? What are you trying to catch?”
“Oh, it’s nothing like that.” She eyed a box of
rubber worms and decided to charge ahead. She was here. She might
as well see if he had anything that would work. “You know the
Mermaid Parade?”
He raised his brows at her, like she was an
idiot.
“I’m making a costume for a mermaid funeral.” It
probably sounded dumb, but she kept going. “And I just need some
wire to help the fin stay fin-shaped.”
“A mermaid funeral.” He puffed and was momentarily
blurred by white smoke. “Sounds sort of kooky.”
“It is.”
He shrugged and said, “Well, I guess we better have
a look around.”
As he started to poke through bins and weave
through the aisles of his tiny store, Jane thought to ask, “Did you
know my mother?”
He stopped his poking and said, “I did. But only
when she was a girl, you know. It broke Preemie’s heart when she
died.” He looked up at her. “Yours, too, I’d imagine.”
“Was he an asshole?”
He raised his eyebrows. “The mouth on you!”
“It’s what everyone calls him.”
“He wasn’t an asshole.” Back to poking with a shake
of the head. “He was mostly just having fun, but he didn’t know
that his fun was sometimes at the expense of others. Like his
daughter’s. But I liked him enough.” He held up a spool. “This
should do the trick.”
Jane studied the wire he handed her and thought
that yes, it would. She trailed him to the register and he said,
“Oh, and don’t let me forget the key.”
“The key?”
“Your grandfather’s key. No use my hanging onto it
now that you’re here.”
“Oh, a spare key to the house, you mean?” Jane was
absentmindedly fingering some rubber worms.
“No, my dear, the horse.”
No one answered the door at the Claveracks, but
Jane was pretty sure she heard a TV inside, so she knocked
louder.
Then louder.
Then louder.
“What is that infernal knocking?” Grandpa Claverack
said when he whipped the door open.
Jane held up the key.
“Well, if you had a key, why’d you knock?” he said,
and then he turned to shuffle away.
“No, Mr. Claverack.” She’d almost said “Grandpa.”
“You don’t understand. It’s the key to the horse.”
He turned.
“Your horse.” She pointed across the street in the
direction of Preemie’s house and the bait-and-tackle shop. “When he
told you to ‘go fish,’ it didn’t mean the key was in the ocean. It
was in the—”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m Preemie’s granddaughter,” she backtracked. “I
thought you should do the honors.” She turned the key in the air to
make it clear. “Unlock the horse. So you can take it.”
“Oh,” he said. “Well, why didn’t you just say
so?”
It took longer to get the old man down the block
between their houses than Jane would have thought possible. Halfway
there, she thought she should run home and see if her father or
Marcus was there, so they could help her carry the old carousel
maker the rest of the way, but she was afraid, too, of leaving
him—a wisp—on the street by himself. Not in this breezy
weather.
Her father poked his head out onto the porch while
Jane was helping Claverack up the stairs. “What’s going on?” he
said.
“I’ve got the key.” Jane held it up. “This is Mr.
Claverack.”
In the living room, the horse was reflecting
sunlight from the window. Its coat seemed shinier, its mane more
alive. Even the horse’s eyes seemed to have more life in them, like
they sparked with recognition of their creator.
“There she is,” Claverack said. “Still a beaut
after all these years.”
He stepped up to the horse then and ran a shaky
hand down its hide, then down its mane. “They just don’t make’em
like this anymore.”
Jane and her father stood back a bit, letting him
have his moment. But when his fingers found the chain around the
horse’s tail, Jane stepped forward. “The lock’s right there,” she
said. “And we’ll figure out how to get the horse to your house, or
to your buyer.”
“You do it,” he said. “Knees don’t bend as well as
they used to.”
Jane looked at her father, who shrugged, and then
she went to the lock, inserted the key, and opened it. Gingerly,
she took the thick chain and unwound it so that it was no longer
holding the horse. The heavy links slumped by the radiator in a
pile.
“That bastard really said I could have it?”
He looked at Jane, and she could see something
missing in his eyes. They looked a lot like the horse’s eyes right
then, without memories or proper focus.
Jane said, “He did.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do with it?” he said.
“It won’t fit through the front door of my place.”
“Your son said you had a buyer.”
“Not me, no,” he said. “He’s the one with the
buyer.” He studied her again. “I just wanted to see her again. She
should be in a museum, don’t you think?” He sighed and said again,
“They just don’t make them like this anymore.”
“Actually,” Jane said, “I do think it should
be in a museum.”
“Well then, get on the horn.”
“But what about your son, and the European
buyer?”
Claverack rested a hand on the horse’s nose and
seemed to look right into its empty eyes and see something that
Jane couldn’t. When he looked back at her, he said, “They’ll
live.”