CHAPTER four
I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE THE HORSE BACK,” she
said at dinner that night. The three of them were eating
sausage-and-pepper sandwiches made with sausages Marcus had cooked
out back on the grill, and from her seat at the table Jane could
see the horse, frozen in its gallop to nowhere. She was surer than
ever of what was right.
“What?” Marcus said, chewing. “No way. Why?”
“I thought you said you didn’t care.” Jane took
another bite.
Marcus wiped his mouth and put his sandwich down.
“I thought you said Birdie was on it the first time Preemie met
her.”
“She was?” their dad said, and Jane nodded, then
turned to Marcus. “I repeat,” she said. “I thought you didn’t
care.”
“Children,” their father said. He had already
devoured his own sandwich and was picking at a salad Jane had
made.
“Harvey gave me a black eye,” Marcus said, then he
popped the last bit of his bread into his mouth.
“You neighed at him,” Jane said between
bites.
“Have they been bothering you again, Jane?” her
father asked. “Is that what’s going on?”
“No, actually.” They’d stopped—right after she
talked to their father and grandfather. She almost hadn’t realized
it at the time. “But I’ve been thinking.” She glanced into the
living room again. “It just doesn’t belong here.”
“But it was beloved by your beloved
grandparents,” Marcus said with a hand to his heart for
drama.
“Yeah,” Jane said. “And they’re gone.”
“Keep talking,” her father said.
Jane wiped her own mouth and hands with a napkin.
“Well, I mean it had sentimental value to them but now they’re not
here anymore, and it has sentimental value to me but I’m not sure
the value I have trumps the value that Grandpa Claverack
has.”
“But he’s going to sell it,” her brother
said.
“And that’s his prerogative.”
“But that means it has no sentimental value
to him, so none is less than whatever you have,” Marcus said.
“Yeah, but I don’t know. Maybe he’ll be sentimental
once he has it. Maybe he’ll get it and then realize he doesn’t even
want to sell it. Anyway, it’s just dumb for us to keep it.” She was
about to say, “We’re mothballing,” but instead she just looked at
her father and said, “We have no good reason to keep it is
all.”
“This seems like an unexpected change of
opinion.”
“I don’t know,” Jane said. “Maybe I’m just sick of
looking at it there, sick of thinking about it. Call it, I don’t
know”—a cool breeze tickled the kitchen curtains—“Call it spring
cleaning. You said we had to clean out the house, Dad, and we
haven’t even really started.”
“Well, now that you’ve brought it up”—he put his
plate in the sink, then came back to the table—“I think we should
talk about what my job means for us, for the house. Because if all
goes well this week with the presentation, the Tsunami will be
built. Which means I’d want to be here. I’d need to be here. I just
wanted to see how you felt about that.”
Marcus said, “Whatever you want, Dad.”
“Well, that’s easy for you to say,” he replied.
“You’re going away to college.”
Marcus had just that week started obsessively
checking the mailbox hanging on the porch. Letters of
acceptance—and Jane was sure they’d mostly be acceptances—were due
to start arriving any day.
Their father said, “Jane, what about you?”
“When is the house officially mine and Marcus’s?”
she asked, surprising herself. But all the talk of real estate this
year made her realize that stuff like this was important. They
hadn’t actually spoken in months about the fact that the fate of
the house was really up to Jane and her brother, not their
dad.
He rubbed his eyes and then looked at her. “The
easiest thing would be to stay here until you’re both eighteen and
entitled to proceeds. And then sell it and divide the money down
the middle. Earlier than that and the money will go into a
trust.”
“You want to stay until I’m eighteen?” Jane asked.
In July she was going to be seventeen. That meant staying another
year and a half or more. It meant graduating.
Her father shrugged. “Well, it depends on what
happens with this vote.”
“I think I’m okay with that,” she said, though she
wished this moment could have ended up being more joyful. The idea
of spending more than one year somewhere—anywhere—was enough
to make her want to cry with happiness, but things with Leo were
complicated enough now that fleeing had its appeal, too. But it was
better to be here on the wrong side of things than to be right but
be gone. Wasn’t it?
Her father went to look for an ax, claiming he
thought he’d seen one in the back of a closet on the second-floor
hall. They were going to try to bust the horse free. Jane went into
the living room and approached the horse and petted it the same way
Leo had the night he’d come over. She wanted to ask her father
whether he had known about the FOR LEASE signs, about the closings
of the Anchor and Wonderland, but she almost didn’t want to know
the answer. “I was thinking,” she said when he came in with the ax,
“about the Tsunami.”
“What about it?” He knelt and surveyed the
radiator, the chain.
“I was just thinking about how when they built this
other roller coaster, the Thunderbolt, they ran the beams and stuff
through the hotel that was in the way, so that they didn’t have to
close it down.”
He rubbed his eyes. “Honey, I know it’s your
friend’s father’s place, but you don’t know the whole story.”
“Well then, tell me.” She turned away from the
horse.
“Okay,” he said. “Apparently, your friend’s father
owes thousands of dollars in back rent because one day he
just decided to stop paying.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Jane said, but her father just
kept talking.
“They’ve been cited for violations of a few safety
and fire regulations, which they’ve done nothing to fix, and
they have a ton of open health code violations. There are rats,
mice, roaches, you name it.”
“Loki made those up. Leo told me.”
“There’s video of the rats, honey. I’m sorry to
have to be the one to tell you,” he said. “But it’s really easy to
romanticize a place like that if you get to thinking that way. It’s
just not all it’s cracked up to be. It’s just not worth
saving.”
“What is, then?” Jane grew suddenly angry,
remembering the trash bags on the porch. “What does someone like
you think is worth saving?”
Her father got up, almost sadly, and walked out of
the room, and then he came back with a small wooden box in his
hands. He put it down on the coffee table and opened it and pulled
out a bunch of items: a ticket stub “from my first date with your
mother,” a program from a play “from my second date with your
mother,” a penny that had been stretched long like a funhouse
mirror “from my third date with your mother.” He didn’t stop until
the box was emptied of letters and trinkets and notes, leaving only
a few pieces of jewelry and a photo.
“My favorite picture of her,” he said, and he
handed it over. Jane saw her mom sitting on a beach chair, a
bandanna on her head, drinking a cocktail out of a pineapple with a
straw.
“I was saving this for you,” he said. “Her
wedding band. For when you were older.”
Jane thought she was going to cry when he held out
the ring toward her and said, “I guess I might as well give it to
you now, though this isn’t exactly the scene I was
picturing.”
“No,” she said, pushing it back. “When I’m older,
whenever you think is right.”
He was still looking at the trinkets and
tickets.
“I’m sorry, Dad,” Jane said, and he sighed.
“I don’t want you to be sorry, honey. I want to be
able to talk about stuff like this and disagree and have that be
all right. And sometimes I want you to trust that I’m right.”
“But you’re not right about this.” She shook her
head. “You can’t be.”
“Well, I guess you’ll have to find out for
yourself, then.” He started to put his mementos away. “In the
meantime, come with me on Thursday, will you? To the presentation?
So you can see the whole of the plan and judge for yourself. I have
four tickets for VIP seating. Marcus is coming. And you can bring a
friend.”
Jane nodded. “Sure, Dad. Of course.”
“Okay,” he said when Marcus came into the room.
“Here goes nothing.” He lifted the lock and chain so that it rested
on a block of wood he’d found and then pulled it as far away from
the horse as it would go. “You’d better stand back,” he said to
Jane, and she stroked the horse’s mane before she did.
“Should I pre-dial 911 right now?” Marcus asked
from the couch.
The ax missed the chain entirely on their father’s
first try. He swung again, and this time the sound was hot and hard
but still, the chain remained strong.
After a few more useless hacks, he put the ax down
and rested his hands on his hips. “Tell them if they want it they
have to come get it.”
It had been a long time since Jane had climbed the
stairs to the attic, pulled the tiny metal beads of the bare bulb’s
pull-string, breathed in all that dusty air. It was less dusty than
it had been when they’d first arrived so many months ago, but it
still felt heavy, old.
Mothy.
She studied the demon from Hell Gate up close for
the first time, felt the chipping paint and the smooth lines of the
curvature of its lips. She tried to imagine what it had been like
to ride through Hell Gate, tried to understand the desire to pay
hard-earned money in order to take a boat ride through a simulated
hell, to confront its fiery circles, to look Satan in the eye. It
seemed that people who lived all those years ago had had a hard
enough time just dealing with the realities of their own
world—epidemics, wars, outhouses. Did they really have to make it
any worse? Any scarier? What was this fascination with the morbid
and terrifying and weird? And why didn’t people have it
anymore?
Or did they?
Looking around the room, Jane saw a few other
things she was going to have to part with, whether her family
ending up staying or not. Those “swinging” and “stationary” signs,
for example. The invitation to Trump’s Demolition Party.
Those she wouldn’t miss.
But those films!
She’d grown so fond of those orphans, those diving
horses, the old footage of Luna Park. They weren’t old family
movies, no, but they’d started to feel that way. Apart from Is
It Human? they were all she had.
But still . . .
She found a pen and paper and started to make a
list of things she thought the Coney Island Museum might want.
After she wrote down “Old Film: Orphans in the Surf,” she
decided to watch it again, maybe for the last time, and it didn’t
seem quite so horribly sad this time around. The shock of it was
gone, and in its place was sadness, sure, but not nearly as much of
it. When it ended, she returned to her list and wrote down, “Old
film reel: ‘King’ & ‘Queen’ the Great Diving
Horses.”
She had neglected to turn off the projector, and
after she added a few more items to her list, new words appeared on
the attic wall.
Baby Class at Lunch.
A new film started playing, tacked onto the same
reel as Orphans.
It was impossible to tell for sure if it was the
same toddlers. This time there were more of them, sitting on a
staircase and eating sandwiches from brown bags. They were chewing
and smiling and laughing and making funny faces, and even the
herky-jerky grain of the film couldn’t change that fact.
They seemed . . . happy.
In the quiet of the attic, Jane let out a
laugh.
Baby Class at Lunch?
The title seemed ludicrous.
Hilarious, even.
And the laugh turned into a giggle as she watched
these orphans chew and mug for the camera. She couldn’t stop.
That’s what they’d called it?
Baby Class at Lunch?
Because if they’d called the first one Baby
Class at the Beach instead, she would have been spared an awful
lot of heartache.
When the film was done, just a minute after it
started, Jane took the reel off the projector and put it in a box
with the others. It was time.