18
Eri Asai's
room.
Outside the window, the day is growing
brighter. Eri Asai is asleep in her bed. Her expression and pose
are the same as when we last saw her. A thick cloak of sleep
envelops her.
Mari enters the room. She opens the door
quietly to avoid being noticed by the other members of the family,
steps in, and closes the door just as quietly. The silence and
chill of the room make her somewhat tense. She stands in front of
the door, examining the contents of her sister's room with great
care. First she checks to be sure that this is indeed the room as
she has always known it—that nothing has been disturbed, that
nothing or no one unfamiliar is lurking in a corner. Then she
approaches the bed and looks down at her soundly sleeping sister.
She reaches out and gently touches Eri's forehead, quietly calling
her name. There is absolutely no response. As always. Mari drags
over the swivel chair from its place by the desk and sits down. She
leans forward and observes her sister's face close up as if
searching for the meaning of a sign hidden there.
Some five minutes go by. Mari stands up,
takes off her Red Sox cap, and smooths out her crumpled hair. Then
she removes her wristwatch and lays it on her sister's desk. She
takes off her varsity jacket, her hooded sweatshirt, and the
striped flannel shirt under that, leaving only a white T-shirt. She
takes off her thick sports socks and blue jeans, and then she
burrows softly into her sisters bed. She lets her body adapt to
being under the covers, after which she lays a thin arm across the
body of her sister, who is sleeping face up. She gently presses her
cheek against her sister's chest and holds herself there,
listening, hoping to understand each beat of her sister's heart.
Her eyes are gently closed as she listens. Soon, without warning,
tears begin to ooze from her closed eyes—large tears, and totally
natural. They course down her cheek and moisten the pyjamas of her
sleeping sister.
Mari sits up in bed and wipes the tears from
her cheeks with her fingertips. Towards something—exactly what, she
has no concrete idea—she feels that she has committed some utterly
inexcusable act, something she can never undo. The emotion has
struck with great suddenness, and with no tangible connection to
what has come before, but it is overwhelming. The tears continue to
pour out of her. She catches them in the palms of her hands. Each
new falling tear is warm, like blood, with the heat from inside her
body. Suddenly it occurs to Mari: I could
have been in some other place than this. And
Eri, too: she could have been in some other
place than this.
To reassure herself, Mari takes one more look
around the room, and then again she looks down at her sister. Eri
is beautiful in her sleep—truly beautiful. Mari almost wishes she
could preserve that face of hers in a glass case. Consciousness
just happens to be missing from it at the moment: it may have gone
into hiding, but it must certainly be flowing somewhere out of
sight, far below the surface, like a vein of water. Mari can hear
its faint reverberations. She listens for them. The place where they originate
is not that far from here. And Eri's flow is almost certainly blending with my own, Mari feels.
We are sisters, after
all.
Mari bends over and briefly presses her lips
to Eri's. She raises her head and looks down at her sister's face
again. She allows time to pass through her heart. Again she kisses
Eri: a longer, softer kiss. Mari feels almost as if she is kissing
herself. Mari and Eri: one syllables difference. She smiles. Then,
as if relieved, she curls up to sleep beside her big sister—to bond
with her if possible, to share the warmth of their two bodies, to
exchange signs of life with her.
"Come back, Eri," she whispers in her
sister's ear. "Please come back." She
closes her eyes and allows the strength to leave her body. With her
eyes closed, sleep comes for her, enveloping her like a great, soft
wave from the open sea. Her tears have stopped.
The brightness outside the window is
increasing with great speed. Vivid streaks of light stream into the
room through gaps in the blind. The old temporality is losing its
effectiveness and moving into the background. Many people go on
mumbling the old words, but in the light of the newly revealed sun,
the meanings of words are shifting rapidly and are being renewed.
Even supposing that most of the new meanings are temporary things
that will persist only through sundown that day, we will be
spending time and moving forward with them.
In the corner of the room, the TV screen
seems to flash momentarily. Light might be rising to the surface of
the picture tube. Something might be starting to move there,
perhaps the trembling of an image. Could the circuit be trying to
reconnect? We hold our breath and watch its progress. In the next
second, however, the screen is showing nothing. The only thing
there is blankness.
Perhaps what we thought we saw was just an optical illusion, a mere
reflection of a momentary fluctuation in the light streaming
through the window. The room is still dominated by silence, but its
depth and weight have clearly diminished and retreated. Now the
cries of birds reach our ears. If we could further sharpen our
auditory sense, we might be able to hear bicycles on the street or
people talking to each other or the weather report on the radio. We
might even be able to hear bread toasting. The lavish morning light
washes every corner of the world at no charge. Two young sisters
sleep peacefully, their bodies pressed together in one small bed.
We are probably the only ones who know that.
Inside the 7-Eleven.
Checklist in hand, the assistant is kneeling in an aisle, taking an
inventory. Japanese hiphop is playing. This is the same young man
who received Takahashi's payment at the cash desk. Skinny, hair
dyed rusty red. Tired at the end of his night shift, he yawns
frequently. He hears, intermingled with the music, the ringing of a
cellphone. He stands up and looks around. Then he checks each of
the aisles. There are no customers. He is the only one in the
store, but the cellphone keeps ringing stubbornly. Very strange. He
searches all parts of the store and finally discovers the phone on
a shelf in the dairy case.
Who in the hell forgets a
cellphone in a place like this? Must be
some crazy dude. With a cluck of the tongue and a look of
disgust, he picks up the chilled device, presses the talk button,
and holds the receiver to his ear.
"Hello," he says.
"You probably think you got away with it,"
announces a male voice devoid of intonation.
"Hello?!" the assistant shouts.
"But you can't get away. You can run, but
you'll never be able to get away." A short, suggestive silence
follows, and then the connection is cut.
Allowing ourselves
to become pure point of view, wehang in midair over the city. What
we see now is a gigantic metropolis waking up. Commuter trains of
many colours move in all directions, transporting people from place
to place. Each of those under transport is a human being with a
different face and mind, and at the same time each is a nameless
part of the collective entity. Each is simultaneously a
self-contained whole and a mere part. Handling this dualism of
theirs skilfully and advantageously, they perform their morning
rituals with deftness and precision: brushing teeth, shaving, tying
ties, applying lipstick. They check the morning news on TV,
exchange words with their families, eat, and defecate.
With daybreak the crows flock in, scavenging
for food. Their oily black wings shine in the morning sun. Dualism
is not as important an issue for the crows as for the human beings.
Their single most important concern is securing sufficient
nourishment for individual maintenance. The garbage trucks have not
yet collected all of the garbage. This is a gigantic city, after
all, and it produces a prodigious volume of garbage. Raising
raucous cries, the crows soar down to all parts of the city like
dive-bombers.
The new sun pours new light on the city
streets. Theglass of high-rise buildings sparkles blindingly. There
is not a speck of cloud to be seen in the sky, just a haze of smog
hanging along the horizon. The crescent moon takes the form of a
silent white monolith, a long-lost message floating in the western
sky. A news helicopter dances through the sky like a nervous
insect, sending images of traffic conditions back to the station.
Cars trying to enter the city have already started lining up at the
tollbooths of the Metropolitan Expressway. Chilly shadows still lie
over many streets sandwiched between tall buildings. Most of last
night's memories remain there untouched.
0ur point of view
departs from the sky over the citycentre and shifts to an area
above a quiet suburban residential neighbourhood. Below us stand
rows of twostorey houses with yards. From above, all the houses
look much alike—similar incomes, similar family make-up. A new dark
blue Volvo proudly reflects the morning sun. A golf practice net
set up on one lawn. Morning papers freshly delivered. People
walking large dogs. The sounds of meal preparations from kitchen
windows. People calling out to each other. Here, too, a brand-new
day is beginning. It could be a day like all the others, or it
could be a day remarkable enough in many ways to remain in the
memory. In either case, for now, for most people, it is a blank
sheet of paper.
We choose one house from among all the
similar houses and drop straight down to it. Passing through the
glass and the lowered cream-coloured blind of a secondstorey
window, we soundlessly enter Eri Asai's room.
Mari is sleeping in the bed, cuddled against
her sister. We can hear her quiet breathing. As far as we can see,
her sleep is peaceful. She seems to have warmed up: her cheeks have
more colour than before. Her fringe covers her eyes. Could she be
dreaming? Or is the hint of a smile on her lips the trace of a
memory? Mari has made her way through the long hours of darkness,
traded many words with the night people she encountered there, and
come back to where she belongs. For now, at least, there is nothing
nearby to threaten her. Nineteen years old, she is protected by a
roof and walls, protected, too, by fenced green lawns, burglar
alarms, newly waxed station wagons, and big, smart dogs that stroll
the neighbourhood. The morning sun shining in the window gently
envelops and warms her. Mari's left hand rests on the black hair of
her sister spread upon the pillow, her fingers softly opened in a
natural curve.
And as for Eri, we can see no change in
either her pose or her expression. She seems totally unaware that
her little sister has crawled into bed and is sleeping beside
her.
Eventually, Eri's small mouth does move
slightly, as if in response to something. A quick trembling of the
lips that lasts but an instant, perhaps a tenth of a second. Finely
honed pure point of view that we are, however, we cannot overlook
this movement. Our eyes take positive note of this momentary
physical signal. The trembling might well be a minuscule quickening
of something to come. Or it might be the barest hint of a minuscule
quickening. Whatever it is, something is trying to send a sign to
this side through a tiny opening in the consciousness. Such an
impression comes to us with certainty.
Unimpeded by other schemes, this hint of
things to come takes time to expand in the new morning light, and
we attempt to watch it unobtrusively, with deep concentration. The
night has begun to open up at last. There will be time until the
next darkness arrives.
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