Car Talk—
DISCEPTATIO DE CURRIBUS

It’s a hunk of junk!

Acervus inutilium est!

That car is so ugly, you’d have to put a pork chop on the backseat to get the dog to ride in it

Iste currus tam turpis est ut necesse tibi sit ponere offam porcinam in sede postrema ut persuadeas cani ut vehatur eo

You deserve a dopeslap for buying it!

Eum tam imprudenter comparando meruisti alapam!

If the rattle gets too bad, wear earmuffs

Nimium si strepat, indue operimenta tuis auribus

Of course you think you can repair it—you’re a moron!

Scilicet putas te currum reficere posse—stipes es!

Whatever it is, it’s going to cost you five hundred bucks, if that’s what it is

Quodcumque est, Ioachimicis tibi quingentis constabit, siquidem est, quod esse creditur

Try putting it in neutral and pushing it off a cliff

Vide quid eventurum sit si, dinexo ingranagio, currum e scopulo pepuleris

Keep in mind, people in the rearview mirror are even stupider than they appear

Tene memoria, viatores conspectos in speculo retrospicienti stultiores esse quam videntur

And remember, don’t drive like my brother!

Et memento, noli agere currum ut frater meus!