SCENE 3.
On the planet Naboo.
Enter
BATTLE DROIDS, including OOM-9.
Enter NUTE
GUNRAY and
RUNE HAAKO
in beam.
How may I serve you, Viceroy? What’s your will?
Pay heed now, Captain. We have search’d the ship
And found no trace of Jedi Knights therein.
’Tis possible they hide aboard thy craft.
If they are here, good sir, we shall detect
Them and destroy them as we were enjoin’d.
Pray, use thou caution—underestimate
These Jedi at thy peril. Vigilance!
[Exeunt Nute Gunray and Rune Haako from beam.
Enter QUI-GON JINN, hidden.
With hundreds of these battle droids I fly
Unto the planet that doth wait below.
Yea, unbeknownst to its kind citizens
Attack doth cruelly come to break their peace.
The craft hath landed. Run, e’er we are found!
[Qui-Gon begins to run from the craft amid fleeing falumpasets, pursued by battle droids.
Enter JAR JAR BINKS, hidden, seeing QUI-GON JINN.
A man approacheth, cloth’d in Jedi garb.
Belike this man brings aid unto Naboo
Such as will help my people and my land.
Mayhap this is the chance I have desir’d!
For I have wander’d lo these many months
A’thinking o’er this planet’s dreary fate:
Two peoples separated by their fear
And prejudice, which e’er doth make us shirk
From giving help unto each other. Aye,
It may be that the only hope for us
To be united is to realize
That our two fates are tightly knit as one.
Perchance this Jedi, follow’d by these droids,
Doth bring the words to break our deep mistrust.
I shall make introduction, in my way—
Portray the part that I have learn’d so well:
It doth befit the human prejudice
To think we Gungans simple, low, and rude.
I shall approach him thusly, yet shall bend
Him to the path that shall assist us all.
Put on thy simple wits now, Jar Jar Binks:
Thus play the role of clown to stoke his pride.
[Jar Jar stands in Qui-Gon’s path. Qui-Gon runs into him and the two fall as the battle-droids transport passes by over them.
[To Qui-Gon:] O moiee-moiee, I so luvee!
Thou brainless knave! Almost thou kill’d us both.
I speakee, speakee, look at mee-mee!
That thou canst speak doth not yet make thee wise.
Now, go ye hence. Away!
[aside:] —Your kind did teach
Me human language, and my profit on’t
Is I know how to move your human heart.
So shall I speak most like a Gungan plain
And thus disarm you by a fool’s deceit.
[To Qui-Gon:] Nay, nay, wise sir, O meesa stayee!
O meesa callee Jar Jar Binks—see
Now meesa is your servant humble.
’Tis quite unnecessary, simple beast.
O nay, it izzee necessary.
Commanded by da gods it izzee.
Enter
OBI-WAN
KENOBI, pursued by
two BATTLE DROIDS.
QUI-GON
JINN destroys the
droids.
Now twicee you a’save my lifee.
[to Qui-Gon:] What creature, friend, is this?
—A local, aye,
A piteous native with a simple mind.
Now let us hence afore more droids arrive.
Did ee say more an more? Exquize me …
[Aside:] And now to cast the line that plants the hook.
[To the Jedi:] The safes’ place is Gunga citee.
’Tis where I grew, a hidden citee.
Mayhap this lackwit may have purpose yet.
A city? Canst thou take us there, kind brute?
Ahh nay, as I me thinkee … nay, nay.
And wherefore not, amphibious buffoon?
o ’tis embarrassee, me banish’d.
If I return and see de bosses
Den dey will work me woe. You gettee?
[A sound is heard in the distance.
Dost thou hear that grave sound? It is the noise
Made by a thousand thousand woes to come.
If they discover us, we shall be crush’d
And ground into a million fleshy bits.
Oblivion shall be our final home.
Ye makee good the pointee. Dis way!
[The Jedi walk in the direction Jar Jar points.
[Aside:] These men have prejudice deep in their hearts,
For looking on me, they see savagery.
A “native,” “local,” “piteous,” “buffoon”;
With such dark slurs they slander my whole race.
Yet, Gungans quickly shall destroyèd be
If this attack doth touch our soggy home;
Belike the Jedi are our only hope.
Thus—though I was cast out for mine ideas
And have for many moons gone wandering
Above the waters of my home, where I
Have studied human ways and learn’d their speech—
I shall return to make amends and bring
These Jedi to the people to whom I
Am bound. So may I save my race entire.
To thine own kind be true, so say I e’er.
Give ev’ry man thine ear, but few thy voice—
At least the voice that speaketh with wise words.
Let them hear only speech of ruffian.
My truer voice I’ll hide with outward squeaks
Of “meesa,” “yousa,” and “exquize me, sir.”
So shall the simple lead the high and wise,
That all of us may dwell in harmony.
I prithee, Jar Jar, how much farther on?
We gowee underwater, kayee?
But hearee mya warning, too, sir:
De Gungans likee not outsiduhs.
De welcome may not be so warmee.
Ha! Fear thou not. This has not been a day
Made for the warmth of hospitality.
[Jar Jar leads the Jedi to the water’s edge, where they plunge in and swim to Gunga City.
Enter GUNGANS, including CAPTAIN TARPALS.
Now meesa home, so good it feelee.
[The Gungans begin to shrink back at the approach of Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Jar Jar.
Hey yousa, stoppa there. What brings you here?
Heyo-dalee, good Captain Tarpals.
Nay, Jar Jar, not again. Now yousa shall
Go to de bosses. Yousa in it deep.
[Captain Tarpals steps forward and prods Jar Jar with his power pole, zapping him.
How wude indeedee. Aye, how wudee!
Now commee all with me, to see de boss.
[Captain Tarpals and other Gungans escort Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Jar Jar into the chamber of the bosses.
I bid to yousa welcome, gentlemen.
But yousa cannah be here. Dis array
Of mackineeks above is yous weesong.
Dey are your problemee, not oursa, nay.
An army all compris’d of droids shall soon
Make their attack upon the kind Naboo.
We must give them a warning, with your aid.
But meesa do not likee the Naboo.
Dey think dey are so wise and full of wit.
The moment that the battle droids have done
With the Naboo, they shall descend into
These murky depths and seize control of you.
But meesa nowa thinkee so. De droids
Not know of ussen ere.
—Have you no eyes?
Is enmity so strong it makes you blind?
You two—the Gungans and Naboo—do form
A circle symbiont. The rock that’s thrown
Into your lake makes waves upon their shores;
The quake that shakes their land doth make your own
Dear city move as though ’twere rock’d by giants.
The same sun shines upon you both, the same
Rain falls and bringeth water to each one,
The plant that takes root in your miry depths
Doth spread its leaves above, for them to see.
Your fate is theirs and, aye, their fate is yours.
[aside:] This Jedi speaketh with a wisdom keen.
In that case, prithee, speed us on our way.
Yea, meesa gonna speed you bote away.
And we shall have the need for transport, too.
And weesa gonna give you una bongo.
The speedies’ way to get to de Naboo
Is going tru de planet core. Now, hence!
With gratitude we give thee thanks, Boss Nass,
And leave your worthy court with wish of peace.
[Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan turn to leave.
Say, Master, what doth “una bongo” mean?
Methinks it is a transport. So hope I!
[aside:] ’Tis now or ne’er if I would join their cause.
[To Qui-Gon:] O, deysa settin’ you up, certain.
Go to de planet core? Bad bombin’.
And any help ’ere would be hot. Eh?
Time runneth short, my master. Shall we go?
A navigator who shall guide us through
The planet core would be most useful, aye?
[To Nass:] What shall become of this one—
Jar Jar Binks?
Hisen to havee punishment severe.
Yet I did save his life, and oweth he
A debt of life to me in recompense.
Your gods have given Jar Jar o’er to me,
He shall go with me by divine command.
Binks? Yousen hava lifeplay witha his?
O yassa, meesa doee, bossa.
Ah, fie! Be gone wit him. Good riddance, den.
Ahh, nay, count me right outta dis here.
’Tis betta dead here den at de core.
O whatta meesa speaka? Commink!
[Exeunt Boss Nass, Gungan bosses, and other Gungans. Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Jar Jar enter the transport.
And now we venture to the planet core.
A place most dangerous, it doth beseem.
O, dis is nutsen. [Looking out of the vessel:]
Gooberfish, O!
Why wert thou banish’d, Jar Jar? Prithee, tell.
[aside:] If I could tell them true, they’d not believe.
For who would think that simple-minded Binks
Would come to have such thoughts expansive as
Could threaten e’en the Gungan bosses, eh?
O well do I recall how they assess’d
The strange beliefs that I’d begun to speak:
That Gungans and Naboo had equal strength,
That we did need them e’en as they need us,
That our two races should not hostile be,
That our best future lay as one, not two.
Such thoughts as these were reprehensible
To all the bosses: thus, my banishment.
Yet this is not the story I’ll relate.
[To Obi-Wan:] O issa longa tale you seeuh,
But small part bein’ meesa clumsy.
Thou wert in exile for thy clumsiness?
Ahh, yousa mighten beeyuh say dat.
Enter OPEE, hidden.
My lord, Darth Sidious, hath sent me here,
Across the galaxy to help destroy
These wretched Jedi. O, what pleasure shall
It give me—not just to fulfill the will
Of my great master, nay, but there is more
My villainous assignment also doth
Bring with it promise of a supper rich!
The best employment bringeth one enjoyment.
[to Obi-Wan:] So maybe meesa causa one or,
Uh, maybe twowee axidentee.
I boom de gasser, den I banish’d.
[The opee catches the transport with its tongue.
O nay, O nay, O dissa trouble!
Enter SANDO AQUA MONSTER, aside.
Fear not, my Jedi brothers, for I come!
Sent by the Jedi Council to Naboo
To guard the good Republic’s interest,
My post is in the groaning waters blue
Where I do stand a’ready to protect
Their passage through the planet’s vicious core.
And now my chance hath come to save their lives:
Though I am sando aqua monster call’d,
I am not monstrous, nay, but virtuous.
[The sando aqua monster eats the opee and exits.
Deep in the sea ’tis true, as ’tis in life:
One fish seems vast, as giant as a fish
Was e’er thought possible to be. We fear,
Nay cower, in its presence, for we think
It doth portend our sure and certain death.
Now, whether ’tis a fish most literal,
The like of which our ship has just escap’d
Here, or, belike, ’tis but some metaphor—
E’en some great challenge or some enemy,
Mayhap some test that we must overcome—
Unless we call upon the Force to see
Correctly, that the thing is not so grand,
Know this: you ever shall live life in fear.
Hence, my young Padawan, and Jar Jar Binks,
E’er bear in mind this plain and vital truth—
Remember that you must have confidence
Enough to know: there’s e’er a bigger fish.
O, meesa tink we goin’ back now.
But whereuh weesa goin’ to, sir?
Fret not: we shall be guided by the Force.
O, maxibig, de Force you sayuh.
But datta smella stinkowiffee.
[The console begins to beep.
Alas, the power swiftly runneth out.
O nay, O weesa die in heeyuh!
Pray, calm thyself. No trouble have we yet.
What “yet”? De monsters swimmin’ out dere,
All leakin’ and a’sinkin’ heeyuh,
When yousa tinkin’ we in trouble?
Enter COLO CLAW, hidden.
My brother opee fail’d where I’ll succeed.
This vessel shall become my banquet feast—
And thus I serve my masters by my belly.
The power is restor’d—with it, our chance.
[The lights of the transport turn on to reveal the colo claw, which attempts to eat the ship.
From one great trial to another, yet
I feel as though some hand doth guide us here.
Enter SANDO AQUA MONSTER as the transport dodges the COLO CLAW.
I come again to rescue my brave friends!
Flee twixt my teeth, but you—O, colo brute!—
Are not so fortunate. Feel my sharp bite:
I’ll break my fast upon your trait’rous hide!
[The sando aqua monster eats the colo claw and exits.
Thus are we safe again—head for that slope—
For with the Force no sea may sink our hope.
[Exeunt.