“Because I’ve got energy and you don’t, you’re dumping me.”

He couldn’t let this disease end up affecting her health as well. And it was. Rae was burning out trying to manage the new account and make time to help him. He refused to let it happen. Today, hearing yet another cautious verdict from his doctor, he had finally realized he no longer had the luxury of assuming his health was going to improve.

James was exhausted, in more pain than he could ever remember, and she had left work to come help him do laundry. She reluctantly admitted when directly asked that she was going to have to go back to work for a few more hours when they were done. He could see the fatigue etched in her face. He knew she had her own long list of errands and tasks to do; he knew she had ceased to work on a book that was very important to her in order to be there to help him. He wanted her in his life, but he was no longer willing to have her life limited by his. It wasn’t fair to her, and it was not something he could accept. It was too high a price.

“Rae, I thought I would be getting better. I’m not. It’s crazy to go on with a relationship that can’t go any further.”

“Did you ever think I might simply like you? That I might like being with you? James, I could care less what we actually do.”

“Rae, it’s hard to accept help.”

“Well it’s hard to see you in pain, too.” She paced, frustrated. “If I help you, you get mad, and if I don’t, I feel horrible. It’s a no-win situation.”

“Which is exactly my point. Rae, we tried. It just won’t work. You’ve got your job and the time demands of it, I’ve got this disease and the implications of it. You don’t have time for a relationship and I don’t have the energy for one. Let’s face the facts and let it go. We’ll still be friends.”

She was crying. “James, I don’t want us to just be friends.”

He closed his eyes at the plea in her voice. “Rae, I’m sorry, but that is all we can be.”

She didn’t know where to direct the anger. At James? At God? At herself?

Rae drove, not caring where she went. Her heart was too broken to know how to process the hurt.

The napkin from the morning’s fast-food restaurant coffee was tucked in her hand, wadded up, too wet to absorb any more tears. She let the rest run unchecked down her face as she drove.

Friends.

She didn’t want to be just friends.

Lord, why? Why tonight of all nights?

The paperwork was beside her, the contracts to sell the business. She and James had been planning to go to dinner and she had planned to tell him about the deal after dinner. She had known he would be against the idea, would feel as if she were sacrificing her business on his account. She had known they would need time to talk it through.

It was a good offer.

For the good of their future, it had been the right decision for her to make.

They didn’t have a future anymore.

Her home was up ahead, dark, quiet. Rae pulled the car into the drive, wiping away the tears. Already her eyes were burning from the salt, feeling gritty and swollen. Her headache was intense. She left the car, feeling the cold strike her wet face.

Lace was in New York. Dave was in Dallas. She wanted her friends—needed them. Knew even if they were here, they couldn’t fix the problem.

A scampering puppy met her at the door. Justin had become a permanent resident. Normally she would have scooped him up and spent thirty minutes playing with him, but tonight she greeted him, rubbed his coat and put him back down.

She went outside to the deck and tossed the contract pages onto the grill.

One strike of a match and the contract flared into a bright ball of heat, curled black and turned to ash.

She had her work and her book. She didn’t have what she really wanted.

She watched the flames burn until the contract was entirely ash.

God, I let him get close, and I got hurt.

I’m tired of getting hurt.

Next time, remind me to say no when I get asked for a date.

Rae went downstairs at 1:00 a.m. to answer the doorbell. Tired of lying in bed fighting the tears, she had finally gotten up and settled in the recliner with one of her mom’s books, trying to bury the pain in the old familiar words of a children’s fantasy.

It was hard to read when you were crying.

Dave. He had been in Dallas. He had called her from there expecting to hear she had told James about the deal. Instead, he had heard a carefully edited explanation of the evening. He must have chartered a flight. Rae blinked against the tears.

He stepped inside.

She had never been so glad to see someone.

“You look like you could use a hug,” her friend said quietly, opening his arms.

She buried herself in his strong protective arms, letting the pain finally come out. Her dreams had died tonight. It was a pain that went deeper than any loss she had ever felt before. Leo had not made a choice to leave her. James had. It stung. Deep inside her soul, it stung.

Dave held her for a very, very long time.

“He’s a jerk.”

“No, he’s not, Lace. He did what he thought was best.”

Rae didn’t feel the forgiveness she expressed, but said the words again anyway. She had said them a lot in the past week, Lace was like a lioness ready to take James apart. Rae was no longer angry. She was sad, tired, licking her wounds in private. Anger was a luxury of energy she didn’t have to spend.

The funny thing was, she honestly did understand his actions. His back against the wall, not able to deal with the demands the relationship required while in such physical pain, he had ended it as gently as he could. She had been ready to do the exact same thing with her business, admit she couldn’t carry the weight, sell out. Thank God she had not actually signed the pages.

“Lace, I love your company, I appreciate the lunch, but…”

“…let me get back to work,” Lace finished for her, getting to her feet.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

Lace leaned her hands on the desk. “It’s okay. As long as you come over tonight, watch a movie, eat popcorn, forget about work for at least three hours.”

Rae grimaced. “Can I call you?”

Lace shook her head. “Come. That’s an order from your friend. You haven’t left this office for the past week.”

“I’ll try to be there by eight.”

“If you’re not, I’ll kidnap you.”

It was the first smile Rae had felt and meant in days. “I’ll be there, Lace.”

James had expected a reaction from Dave and Lace. He hadn’t expected the ice.

It began to thaw slightly as they watched him carefully set down his coffee mug, before he dropped it. The pain was intense tonight. Had it not been for the slight chance he’d see Rae, he would have passed on the get-together.

Rae hadn’t come.

Lace, across from him, asked about his family. She didn’t approve of what he had done, that was obvious, but she was at least being polite.

It seemed that Dave had not taken sides.

James wanted to ask how Rae was doing, wanted to hear anything about her, but neither Dave or Lace were willing to mention her name. During the past week, James had picked up the phone several times to call her, but always reluctantly replaced it. He hoped she would eventually forgive him.