“James, can you join us? We’re at Rae’s tonight,” Dave asked.

Ten hours on the job studding in the kitchen had left him dripping in sweat and physically tired, a good tired that came after accomplishing a good job, but still ready for some downtime. He had been headed for a shower and a ball game when the phone had rung. His mom was out tonight with Patricia and the kids.

“What time, Dave? I’ll be there.”

It was Rae. Any other offer he would have declined. Going to Rae’s put the request in a different league.

“Seven-thirty. Lace is coming out from the city.”

“I’ll be there.”

“Great. Come hungry. I’m doing ribs on the grill.”

James hung up the phone. Rae. He hadn’t seen her for eight days. He had checked the nursery Sunday morning to find he had just missed her. Eight days was too long.

Margo had four gorgeous puppies, but James had decided a phone call was not the way to extend the invitation. He needed to do it in person, when he knew it was a favorable time and he would see her expression.

Tonight.

Ask Rae over for dinner and a trip to the kennel to see the puppies.

Add his mom to the picture. Dinner at his mom’s kitchen table. That should be low-key enough to get a yes. Nothing threatening. It would get him a few hours of her company, that was the objective.

He went to take a shower, his fatigue easing with the plans for the night.

After four days of construction work with Kevin, his body was complaining about the physical exertion, but so far it was the aches and pains he would expect from having been sidelined for so many weeks. It wasn’t the pain he had learned to dread, pain burning in his joints; it was the normal ache of muscles being used to do some heavy work.

He was relieved.

He had been more worried than he was willing to admit about how this first week of construction would go. He wasn’t out of danger of a physical surprise yet, but every day that went by put him all the more closer to being able to return to Africa. He prayed for that every morning when he got up, every evening when he went to bed.

Africa.

It was work he did well. It was work that saved lives.

He was enjoying the comforts of a hot shower, a good meal and a soft bed while he had them. They would soon be memories. He had learned to enjoy good things while they were there. It was a cost of the mission field. He had accepted the cost once before, and he would accept it again.

There was a world in need, and he had the skills to meet it. To not go would be to deny the call God had placed on his heart.

Someday, there would be a payoff worth the sacrifice.

It was time to quit wishing for something else and enjoy what God had given now. Good friends. A wonderful lady. Ribs.

Dave was awesome with charcoal and a grill.

“Dave, did you need matches?” Rae shifted the casserole dish of scalloped potatoes to the top of the stove, careful to keep a firm grip on the hotpad. She had already burned her thumb once tonight.

“Got them, Rae. Were you able to find the long tongs?”

“Yes, but I need to wash them,” Rae called out to the deck. “I’ll have them for you in a minute.”

She blew a strand of hair back from her eyes. Company was coming and she was a wreck. Still in her skirt and blouse from work, rumpled, hot, running late.

“Would you quit fussing over the food and go take a shower? It’s just James and Lace,” Dave said, joining her in the kitchen.

Exactly, Rae thought. She preferred James to see her with a semblance of her act together.

Dave laughed and took the pot holders. “Go. I can manage the kitchen.”

She hugged him then deserted him, leaving him to try to put together the menu.

The shower was hot, the steam taking away the marks of the stressful day. It had been a day where she had been silently pleading by noon for God to send her some relief. The markets had been volatile, one of the computer feeds of data had gone down, and Janet had been called for jury duty.

Rae rapidly washed her hair.

God, we’ve talked about it so many times in the past six weeks. I’m glad You’re using James to help pull me out of the grief, but God, just between You and me, this is getting embarrassing. He’s a friend, he’s going back to Africa in six weeks, and I’m acting like I’ve got a crush on him! I’m not cut out to be acting like I’m twenty again. I’m not ready to emotionally deal with a guy and a relationship again. So would you please ease this emotion and use tonight to help me back off?

Oh, and God, if I get a chance to talk to Lace alone tonight, help me find the right words to say. She’s been quietly hoping for Dave’s interest for three years. Now that he’s asked, she needs the courage to say yes. I understand her fears, Dave has not exactly shown a desire to settle down in the past, but I’ve seen something different in him the past few weeks, and I want Lace to at least give him a chance. I think they were made for each other, Lord. They complement each other, and they’ve already got the commitment to each other as friends.

The silent prayer helped steady Rae’s nerves. Ten minutes later, standing in front of her closet biting her bottom lip, she had to make a decision. She wanted comfortable and Lace would argue she should go for knockout. Rae hated waffling about clothes. She had no idea what she should wear. She finally chose a black knit top and a pair of pressed jeans. She added her mother’s pearls. It was a compromise.

It took forever to get her hair to dry. When she finally clicked off the hair dryer, she could hear voices from downstairs. She glanced at the clock. Lace had made better time than she expected.

Rae hesitated, then reached over for the perfume bottle.

It was a night of friends over for a meal and a televised baseball game. She had to get over these nerves. She finally had to order herself to get downstairs and be the hostess.

 

James parked behind Lace’s car in the drive. As he walked up the drive to the town house, he could hear laughter coming from the deck at the back.

Rae had a beautiful home. He let himself in, having concluded they were all outside. It was a comfortable place, nice furniture, beautiful paintings, restful because it was lived in. Rae had her mom’s books—eight novels, prominently displayed in the living room. Her mail had been dropped in a basket on the kitchen bar, magazines tossed in a basket beside the couch.

There were books everywhere, on bookshelves in the living room, a stack on the hallway table to be returned to the library, a half-dozen more piled up on the floor at the end of the couch, most with a bookmark indicating where she had left off reading.

The first time he had seen her home, he had been impressed with how well it reflected her personality. It wasn’t coordinated as a decorator would do it, but it was visually restful and functionally useful.

Rae was a lady who liked pictures, most of the shelves and a few of the tables had framed snapshots. Her family. Dave and Lace. Leo.

Rae had a picture of Leo on the shelf beside her mom’s novels. It was a candid snapshot, obviously taken by either Lace or Dave, at the cabin where they had vacationed. Leo had been in the kitchen making waffles, Rae leaning against his back and reaching around to swipe a strawberry. The snapshot told James a lot. Leo had turned to say something to Rae, and the expression on his face as he looked at her had been unguarded. Leo had been in love with Rae. It was there in his face and his eyes.

He had been a good man.

Everything Dave and Lace said, everything Rae herself reflected, told him that.

The fact Rae had kept the snapshot, displayed it as she did, was a tribute to the fact the love had been returned.

The pictures of Rae with Leo, other pictures around, had given him a glimpse of a Rae he had not met, one who was relaxed, happy, not yet touched by grief.

Her smile was returning, but it was a slow process.

God, are You sure an invitation is the right thing to do? I’m back to waffling again.

James followed the sound of laughter to the deck just in time to see Dave duck the spray of the water hose Lace was holding. She had obviously been trying to help with the flaring flames licking the charcoal and threatening to burn the ribs, but she hadn’t been ready for the fact Rae had turned the valve on.

James bit back a laugh at the scene.

Lace meekly turned the hose over to a Dave who was now standing in wet shoes. “Sorry, David.”

Dave wiped the water off his forearm, gave a long-suffering sigh. “You know, the first time I could write it off as an accident, but the third time? I swear you just like to get me soaked, Lace.”

“Would some iced tea make it better?”

He tweaked a lock of her hair at the amusement in her voice. “Make it a soda with caffeine. I have a feeling I’m going to need it tonight.”

The wind shifted and James got a smell of the cooking ribs. A day working on a house made a man hungry. He stepped out onto the deck.

“Hi, James.” Rae walked onto the deck, pausing beside him.

She was beautiful tonight, her hair pulled back in a gold barrette, the length brushing her shoulders. The pearls were a sharp contrast to the black sweater. He didn’t see her wear jewelry very often. “Hi, Rae. Looks like I got here just in time.”

“Be glad you weren’t here a few minutes earlier, you would have probably gotten doused as well.”

She seemed a little uncertain around him, not meeting his glance. James wondered ruefully what was wrong. He wished she would relax around him like she did with Dave.

“James, can I get you a drink?” Lace asked.

Lace, as always, was dressed casually, yet looking like a fashion model. “A soft drink would be fine,” he replied, returning her smile.

“I made my special sauce I was telling you about. You are going to like these ribs.” James accepted the inevitable and went to join Dave.

James settled in with Dave, talking food, and looking around the yard, noting a few things that needed to be done. Rae didn’t have enough time in her life to keep a yard landscaped, he knew that, but there was evidence that in the past she had tried.

The trellis with the grapevines needed to have a few slats added to bear the weight of the full vines. And her rosebushes were in full bloom, though a couple needed to be trimmed back.

He missed not having a house and yard to work on. Years before, when the business with Kevin had finally begun to turn a modest profit, he had bought an older two-story home near where Patricia currently lived and used his free time to fix it up. He had enjoyed the work, both inside and out in the yard. When he had sold the home the summer he went to Africa, it had been like parting with an old friend. He had made good money on the investment, but it had been a sacrifice, selling the place.

He was a man who liked having a home that showed the benefits of his labor. For six years on the mission field, he had accepted living in temporary housing, often staying with members of the local church, their hospitality appreciated and generous, but it was not the same as having a permanent home.

Dave had a restless, nomadic streak. James was different. He looked forward to the day the clinics were built and the job was done, coming back to the States to settle in one place, buy a house and use his labor to make it a nice home.

Lace returned with the soda he had requested.

Dave flipped the ribs over, added more barbecue sauce.

Ten minutes later, they settled around the table for dinner. Rae and Lace sat across from Dave and James.

Rae was quiet, but her smiled was genuine, her laughter making her eyes twinkle. Although she was still avoiding catching his glance, he had a long evening to work on getting her attention.

Rae passed him the bread and he finally caught her eye. He smiled and it was tentative, but he got a smile back from her.

James relaxed.

Lace was back to flirting with Dave.

It was a wonderful meal. The food was delicious, and the company enjoyable. By dessert, the conversation had turned to Rae’s book.

Rae didn’t like being the center of attention; she was the one who preferred to listen. James found her slight blush tugging his protective nature.

He was pleased to hear that she had been able to get an average six hours of writing time in each week since the vacation, and was now working on chapter twenty-four. When she talked about the book, she came alive in a way that made her face light up. He loved to see that expression.

They eventually moved to the living room and the baseball game, Lace accepting a small gesture from Dave to join him on the couch. Rae settled into a chair, and James sat across from her, watching her as much as he did the game.

Often, he would see her eyes drift from the game to the pictures on the mantel. She looked less hurt, but still sad.

It was not the time to ask her. He could have arranged a chance to ask her, but he didn’t try. Tonight was not the right time.

There was a day coming soon that would be the right time. She needed to know a future did exist beyond what she presently had; she needed to know the sadness could be left behind and she could look at options beyond just her career. He had heard the weariness in her voice as she talked about how work was going, her progress in looking for a business partner.

She wasn’t going to leave the sadness behind without someone taking the step to ask her on a date. He cared too much about her to leave for Africa without having helped her open that door.

He would be opening the door that someone else would eventually walk through.

He wanted her to still be single in five years, when he figured he would be coming back to the States for good. It wasn’t fair to her. She wanted children. He had only to look at her at church around the children to see the obvious. It wasn’t fair to rob her of a dream just because he would prefer to have her wait for him.

 

The sixth day working on the house was a physically challenging day. It was a hot, eighty degrees by 10:00 a.m., the sun and heat and humidity making them sweat and go through gallons of ice water. James paused on the bandsaw, having cut the last lumber they would need to finish framing in the master bedroom and master bath. Wearily, he wiped the sweat from his face with the towel he had slipped in his back pocket.

The pain was back.

He had woke to it that morning, a burning sensation in his chest muscles that had made him groan as he moved to get out of bed. It was mild compared to what it had been like in the past, but after two weeks without feeling it, it had been a surprise.

A hot shower had eased the pain, so that by the time he reached the site that morning he could almost believe he had imagined it. Almost.

He was going back. He was determined to be back in Africa on schedule. The pain this morning had only strengthened his resolve.

He didn’t have to be a hundred percent to do the job. A little stiffness in the morning was something that could be managed.

It was coming up on four o’clock. He had worked through the day, able to do his job, and do it well. His work hadn’t suffered, and the activity had not made the ache worse. This morning was a slight glitch, but not something that was going to stop him. Still, he was grateful when Kevin suggested they call it a day. He would spend the evening resting, and tomorrow would be better.

 

“James, Rae is going to be coming over for dinner tonight. She and I need to talk about the upcoming children’s musical. Are you going to be in tonight? Should I set you a place?”

James paused as he reached for a soda can on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator. Trust his mom to act before he did. He retrieved a drink and popped open the tab. “I’ll be in,” he replied, smiling; he reached around her to swipe a finger across the edge of the icing bowl.

“You’re as bad as the children,” she scolded, smiling.

“I like fudge icing.” She had baked a chocolate cake that afternoon.

“You’ve got your father’s sweet tooth. Go see what kind of mail we got today,” she asked, banishing him from her domain.

James kissed her cheek. “Sure, matchmaker.”

He met Rae at the door two hours later. She was tired, he saw that immediately, and while she had changed into jeans and a short-sleeve top, it was clear she had come immediately from work. “Come on in, Rae, Mom’s in the kitchen. What can I get you to drink?”

She gave a grateful smile. “Iced tea, please.”

She followed him to the kitchen, greeted his mom and pulled out a chair at the table, sat down. James watched her try to push the fatigue back, focus on his mom and the conversation.

He got her the drink she had requested, then pulled out the chair across from her, and settled back to watch and listen.

It didn’t take long for her and his mom to come up with a plan for the children’s musical, agree on who each one of them would call and recruit to help.

When dinner was served, Rae did her best to convey her appreciation to his mom, but James noticed that she barely ate. The phone rang soon after dessert was served. His mom waved him back to his seat and went to answer it.

“What happened today, Rae? You look…shell-shocked for want of a better word.”

“I lost two hundred fifty thousand dollars,” she replied. He heard the shock in her voice. “The last hour, the markets simply fell apart.”

“Rae, I am sorry.” He had no way to convey how deep his empathy went for the type of day she had obviously had.

She spun the ice in her water glass, her thoughts obviously a long way away. “We haven’t had this bad a day in three years.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

She gave a rough laugh. “I’m petrified of tomorrow. Hardly what my clients would want to hear me say tonight.”

James pushed back his chair. “Come on, let’s go for a walk.”

It was a sign of how hard the day had been that she didn’t even ask why. James interrupted his mom softly to tell her where they were going, and ask if she wouldn’t mind fixing a piece of the cake for Rae to take home with her. He was worried about how little Rae was eating, but it didn’t make sense to push it tonight.

The sun was getting ready to set. James watched Rae tuck her hands into the pockets of her jeans. Walking beside him, a weariness made her shoulders droop. “It’s a beautiful sunset,” he remarked quietly.

It got her to look up and notice. “Yes, it is.”

James wanted to reach over and tuck her hand in his, tell her it would be okay. He couldn’t. He had to settle for what he could do. The first thing to do was get her back in a positive frame of mind. “Okay, what’s your game plan for tomorrow?”

She smiled, resigned. “I don’t have one yet.”

He slipped his hands into his own pockets and hid a wince at the way his left wrist complained in pain. “What are your options?”

“Sell and take profits before the stocks slide further. Do nothing. Sell strategically and use the cash to buy stocks that seem to be below their worth.”

“How are you going to decide which one to do?”

She shrugged, then stopped walking for a moment, bit her bottom lip. “It hinges around one conclusion. I’ve got to decide if this is a short-term adjustment, or the warning shot of a long-term correction.”

She started walking again, and he shortened his stride to hers. “Which do you think it is?”

“I don’t know, James. I’m not current with my overall analysis, I don’t have the facts I need to support a call either way. I’m kicking myself for being so careful to do the trading correctly, that I had not left adequate time to prepare for this. James, I cut my analysis time back so I could work on my book. Finding those six hours a week to write just burned my clients.”

She was wrong. Those six hours of time writing had kept her able to do the trading and the analysis. They had kept her from burning out.

“What would Leo do in this situation?”

“He would be selling and taking profits, using the cash to go back into the market, buy stocks that slipped too far in the correction.”

“Are you comfortable doing that?”

“Not at the speed he would do it. I don’t know when a stock that is sliding down should be bought. I end up buying too early and having to watch it slide further before it bottoms out.”

A slight breeze rustled through the branches and leaves of the trees they were walking under. It was an older neighborhood, the sidewalks lined with fifty-year-old oaks.

“You need to decide on a course for tomorrow, and go with it. When you have more information then you can adjust your plan,” James said.

“Thanks.” Rae nodded and lightly touched his arm.

They walked in silence for most of the way around the block and soon they were back to his mom’s house.

“Would you like to go see some puppies?” James asked, wanting to distract her when he saw her frown at something she thought of.

His suggestion accomplished his goal; it broke her focus on her job. “I love puppies,” she replied, slightly wistful.

“I know where there is a litter of four puppies, recently born. It’s a five minute drive. Would you like to go?”

She nodded.

Pleased, James gestured to his car. “Come on.”

The kennel was quiet.

James saw Rae look around with interest as they walked through the quiet hall toward the back of the building. “Never been here before?”

“No.”

“I’ll show you around later,” James offered.

He opened the gate and was not able to stop a wince of pain at the action. “James, what’s wrong?” Rae had seen the pain cross his face.

When he didn’t answer, her face grew more intent as she made her own conclusions. “Your wrist hurts, doesn’t it? Your wrist hurt when you opened the gate.” There was alarm in her voice.

“Rae, it’s nothing. My body is stiff after a long day working on the house. That’s all.”

“That’s not all it is. You winced, James.”

“It’s nothing, Rae,” he insisted, stepping through the gate to the kennel runs and waiting for her to join him.

“James…”

He smiled. “Rae, I promise, it’s nothing. I’m fine. Come see the puppies.”

Margo had the first kennel run, a spacious indoor and outdoor kennel she could move between at will. The dog was awake, having heard them enter the building. She was stretched out on a soft quilt, four furry bundles sprawled around and over each other asleep beside her.

“They’re beautiful.”

James opened the gate and felt the pain burn in his left wrist but refused to let any indication show on his face. “Hi, girl. How are you tonight?”

Margo raised her head and her tail began to beat against the blanket. James stroked her fur, greeted her as the old friend she was.

Rae knelt down beside him, cautiously offered her hand to Margo to inspect, had it licked in approval.

Two of the puppies stirred and tried to get up, only to roll as they tangled each other up. James laughed and caught them.

“This is Benjamin, and this is Justin.”

Rae sat down on the kennel floor and Benjamin came over to climb in her lap. The puppy yawned and Rae laughed. “They are adorable, James.”

James sat against the concrete wall and stretched his legs out, Justin in his lap. “I thought you might like them,” he replied, rubbing Margo’s coat and playing tug-of-war with the puppy over ownership of a towel.

The stress he had seen on Rae’s face over dinner had eased. She was absorbed in the puppy she held. James smiled. He was glad she had agreed to come. Now if he could only convince her to take a puppy home…Nothing made a stressful day fade faster than an animal that wanted all your attention. He laughed as the puppy tried to figure out how to get his front paw inside her jeans pocket.

 

“How are you doing this morning?” Kevin asked.

Kevin’s question pulled James away from his thoughts. “Ready to get to work,” he replied. He was going to need the time today working on the house to sort out his confusing thoughts from last night. He had loved the couple of hours he’d spent with Rae, walking with her, playing with the puppies, watching her. It had been a night he really enjoyed, and when she had left for home about nine, he had been able to tell the break had helped her, too. She’d left in a positive frame of mind, relaxed. For a while he had regretted Africa, until perspective cut back in, late that night.

He doubted a carpenter would be her first choice of a guy to date. With her background, her interests, a doctor or lawyer would be a better fit. He had never been one to hold a dream that did not have at least a corner of it rooted in reality. He had enjoyed the night and he hoped to enjoy another like it before he left for Africa, but that was the sum total of what he would hope for.

Kevin smiled. “Then let’s do it.”

James looked at the framed-in house. He was going to build this house and then he was going to go back to Africa. It mattered to him. He was going to make it happen. No matter what it took.

His wrist twinged as he grasped the ladder rung.

 

“Rae, how are you doing?”

Dave’s call had been transferred to the war room, and his voice distracted her momentarily from the numbers she was studying.

“Dave, it’s chaos. I’m busy and it’s going to be a long day. Say a prayer for your finances, I’m currently losing your money.” She winced as another group of numbers caved in and went red. “Anything you need?”

“For you to relax. You’ll do fine. We’ll bring dinner by the office around six.”

Rae smiled. “Thanks, friend.”

She leaned back in her chair to drop the phone in its cradle.

It was like trying to patch together a leaking dam with bandages, the cracks in the market were spreading so rapidly. She was grateful she had made the assumption she was looking at the beginning of a major market correction, at least that decision was proving to be accurate.

“Scott, let’s start moving about forty percent of the airline stocks to cash,” she said quietly, mentally reviewing the holding lists for where her profits were the most vulnerable to the correction.

Some positions she was selling today had been held for five years, bought during the last major correction. Sooner or later, everything changed. Today had become that day.

She was playing it very conservative, choosing to ride it out and do nothing in most of the stocks she held, making moves only where it seemed strategically beneficial. It was going to be a long day.

 

“Rae’s got a nice location,” James commented, following Dave across the atrium of a major office complex. The building interior was marble, gold, modern, with plants and a multilevel waterfall.

“The builder of the complex was a friend of Leo’s,” Dave replied. “She’s on the fifth floor.”

A small sign by the suite door, stenciled in gold, told him they had arrived at Rae’s office.

The reception area was a formal living room, with comfortable couches, chairs, and a glass-topped table set discretely to the side. “Lace decorated for them,” Dave commented, smiling. He indicated the hall to the right. It opened into a large spacious room that was obviously the hub of the research area. The lady filing reports smiled when she saw them. “Hi, Dave.”

“Hi, Janet. Have you met James, yet?”

“Not officially, no. Hello, James.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Janet.”

“Where would you like the dinner we brought?” Dave asked, looking around.

She nodded to the conference room behind him. “Over there would be wonderful. We appreciate it. We’re all behind today, there was so much happening so quickly.”

“Where is she?”

“The war room.”

“Any screams during the day?”

“She’s been so calm you would think the market was flat,” Janet replied.

“How did she do?”

Janet grinned. “Unbelievably well.”

“She made money?”

“It’s a tad insulting that you sound so surprised,” Rae commented, causing Dave to look around.

“I brought pot stickers. Forgiven?”

She smiled and joined them. “Depends on how many you brought. Hi, James.”

“Hi, Rae.” She looked exhausted. It had obviously been a long stressful day, but her smile told him a lot about how she felt. She had done well today.

“Would you like a fast tour while I find everyone?”

“Sure.”

“Dave, what should I bring you to drink?”

“Something cold.”

Rae laughed. “I think I’ve got that. Janet?”

“A cream soda.”

Rae pointed out doors as they walked back toward the reception area. “This is primarily the analysis wing of the suite, my office, another conference room, Janet’s office.” She took a turn just before she reached the reception area. “This is the trading wing, Leo’s office. Scott—one of my key traders—Ann and Jeanna.” She paused by one of the doors. “This is the trading room. I’ll warn you in advance, it’s normally a little neater.”

She pushed open the door. James stepped inside. The amount of information and how it was correlated and displayed was incredible. It was like nothing he had ever seen before. He felt slightly overwhelmed. This was her domain?

“Rae, do you want to clear the rest of the position in five-year treasuries tomorrow? There is a working spread we could take advantage of,” a man in his early twenties asked from the far side of the room.

“Punch it up to the monitors,” she requested. He pressed a couple keys and the data he was looking at appeared on the main screen in front of her. Rae studied the data, nodded. “Good idea. Put them on the list to move early in the day. Scott, have you met James?”

“Spoken on the phone, but no. It’s nice to meet you, James.”

James shook hands, liking the man on sight. Dave spoke highly of him. “Same here. This looks like an interesting place to work.”

Scott laughed. “Challenging,” he replied.

“Dinner is here,” Rae commented, picking up the stacks of notes she had scrawled during the day. “What can I get you to drink, Scott?”

He gestured to the table behind him. “Got it covered, Rae. The main conference room?”

Rae nodded.

“Give me another couple minutes to finish the file transfers, and I’ll be there.”

“This has been a long day for you,” James commented as they stepped into a small kitchen. It was six-thirty and Dave had mentioned Rae had called him from the office at 5:00 a.m. that morning.

Rae opened the refrigerator to get the requested drinks. “It will take a couple hours longer to wrap up today than usual, but seven o’clock isn’t that uncommon. Did the building go okay today? I was worried about you.”

James smiled as he took the drinks, careful in how he gripped the cans because his hands wanted to drop them. There was no way he was going to even hint how harsh the day had been. He had a weekend to relax and recuperate. The pain that had been in his ribs the day before had settled into all his joints with the viciousness of a disease that had never left.

But he had worked through the pain again, and it had not crippled him. It was different now; he knew what to expect, he knew how to adapt.

“We put the roof joists in place today. The work is going well. I’ve missed it, Rae, building a place.”

“I’m glad you’re able to do it again. The pain is okay?”

“I’m fine,” he replied.

She hesitated, then nodded. “Let’s go eat.”

 

It was a fair day—sunny, moderate temperature, slight breeze. A builder’s ideal day. James was on the roof with Kevin laying the roof sheeting in place. They had set the joists that morning and by evening should be ready to lay the shingles. James slipped yet another nail from the bag and held it in place. He had been using the nail gun across the seams, but there were some corners that required a hand-driven nail.

Pain radiated through his entire body with every blow of the hammer.

The weekend had only let his joints grow more stiff, the pain more severe. It was a losing battle, and James knew it, but wouldn’t let himself admit it.

He was losing a dream and he refused to simply give up.

Six months ago he would have thought nothing of laying the entire roof sheeting by hand. There was rarely electricity to power tools where his crews worked. James pulled another nail from the bag. The sweat was pooling around his eyes, sweat from the pain and not the physical labor.

He was not going to let this disease win. The nail dropped from fingers that could not hold it in place and he sighed heavily, hating the pain, hating the way his body was letting him down. He reached for another nail and tightened his grip on it, hating the burning pain that flared in his muscles in response to the action.

Kevin took the hammer out of his hand. “It is not going to help to let the pain cripple you.”

James wanted to swear at his helplessness but it was intangible; Kevin was there. “Give me the hammer back, Kevin.”

“It’s not the end of the world if you can’t be a builder anymore.”

“I am a carpenter, Kevin. That is who I am.” His anger was hot, directed at the illness, at his friend for putting into words what he knew but had not been willing to admit.

“There was a day Jesus walked away from his carpentry shop and did not go back. You’ve got to let it go, James. It looks like God has got other plans for you.”

James had seen the grim look on his friend’s face that morning. Kevin had been observing him for days. He knew the reality. James could deny the pain to his family, but Kevin knew better. It was minor consolation that his friend looked as pained by the reality as James felt.

James walked to the edge of the roof and took the ladder back down to the ground. Tired, exhausted, hurting and deeply discouraged, he pulled off his work gloves and unbuckled the tool belt he wore.

Kevin joined him. “James, this is not the end of the world. You just need more time.”

“It’s been six months, Kevin. Just how much longer do you suppose it will be before I can hold a hammer again for any length of time, be useful on a site?” James replied, feeling his body fighting against the pain in his joints. It was so crippling he would be lucky to be able to move tomorrow.

“It takes more than sweat equity to build a house.”

“I’m not the type to be behind a desk, Kevin,” James replied, angry at the situation, the brutal unfairness of it. He was good at what he did. The clinics he helped build saved lives. He loved the work. And the most black reality he had ever looked at was staring him in the face.

He wouldn’t be going back.