XVIII
A Flood of Sunshine
Arthur Dimmesdale gazed
into Hester’s face with a look in which hope and joy shone out,
indeed, but with fear betwixt them, and a kind of horror at her
boldness, who had spoken what he vaguely hinted at, but dared not
speak.
But Hester Prynne, with a mind of native courage
and activity, and for so long a period not merely estranged, but
outlawed, from society, had habituated herself to such latitude of
speculation as was altogether foreign to the clergyman. She had
wandered, without rule or guidance, in a moral wilderness; as vast,
as intricate and shadowy, as the untamed forest, amid the gloom of
which they were now holding a colloquy that was to decide their
fate. Her intellect and heart had their home, as it were, in desert
places, where she roamed as freely as the wild Indian in his woods.
For years past she had looked from this estranged point of view at
human institutions, and whatever priests or legislators had
established; criticizing all with hardly more reverence than the
Indian would feel for the clerical band, the judicial robe, the
pillory, the gallows, the fireside, or the church. The tendency of
her fate and fortunes had been to set her free. The scarlet letter
was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread.
Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers,—stern and
wild ones,—and they had made her strong, but taught her much
amiss.
The minister, on the other hand, had never gone
through an experience calculated to lead him beyond the scope of
generally received laws; although, in a single instance, he had so
fearfully transgressed one of the most sacred of them. But this had
been a sin of passion, not of principle, nor even purpose. Since
that wretched epoch, he had watched, with morbid zeal and
minuteness, not his acts,—for those it was easy to arrange,—but
each breath of emotion, and his every thought. At the head of the
social system, as the clergymen of that day stood, he was only the
more trammelled by its regulations, its principles, and even its
prejudices. As a priest, the framework of his order inevitably
hemmed him in. As a man who had once sinned, but who kept his
conscience all alive and painfully sensitive by the fretting of an
unhealed wound, he might have been supposed safer within the line
of virtue, than if he had never sinned at all.
Thus, we seem to see that, as regarded Hester
Prynne, the whole seven years of outlaw and ignominy had been
little other than a preparation for this very hour. But Arthur
Dimmesdale! Were such a man once more to fall, what plea could be
urged in extenuation of his crime? None; unless it avail him
somewhat, that he was broken down by long and exquisite suffering;
that his mind was darkened and confused by the very remorse which
harrowed it; that, between fleeing as an avowed criminal, and
remaining as a hypocrite, conscience might find it hard to strike
the balance; that it was human to avoid the peril of death and
infamy, and the inscrutable machinations of an enemy; that,
finally, to this poor pilgrim, on his dreary and desert path,
faint, sick, miserable, there appeared a glimpse of human affection
and sympathy, a new life, and a true one, in exchange for the heavy
doom which he was now expiating. And be the stern and sad truth
spoken, that the breach which guilt has once made into the human
soul is never, in this mortal state, repaired. It may be watched
and guarded; so that the enemy shall not force his way again into
the citadel, and might even, in his subsequent assaults, select
some other avenue, in preference to that where he had formerly
succeeded. But there is still the ruined wall, and, near it, the
stealthy tread of the foe that would win over again his unforgotten
triumph.
The struggle, if there were one, need not be
described. Let it suffice, that the clergyman resolved to flee, and
not alone.
“If, in all these past seven years,” thought he,
“I could recall one instant of peace or hope, I would yet endure,
for the sake of that earnest of Heaven’s mercy. But now,—since I am
irrevocably doomed,—wherefore should I not snatch the solace
allowed to the condemned culprit before his execution? Or, if this
be the path to a better life, as Hester would persuade me, I surely
give up no fairer prospect by pursuing it! Neither can I any longer
live without her companionship; so powerful is she to sustain,—so
tender to soothe! O Thou to whom I dare not lift mine eyes, wilt
Thou yet pardon me!”
“Thou wilt go!” said Hester calmly, as he met
her glance.
The decision once made, a glow of strange
enjoyment threw its flickering brightness over the trouble of his
breast. It was the exhilarating effect—upon a prisoner just escaped
from the dungeon of his own heart—of breathing the wild, free
atmosphere of an unredeemed, unchristianized, lawless region. His
spirit rose, as it were, with a bound, and attained a nearer
prospect of the sky, than throughout all the misery which had kept
him grovelling on the earth. Of a deeply religious temperament,
there was inevitably a tinge of the devotional in his mood.
“Do I feel joy again?” cried he, wondering at
himself. “Methought the germ of it was dead in me! O Hester, thou
art my better angel! I seem to have flung myself—sick, sin-stained,
and sorrow-blackened-down upon these forest-leaves, and to have
risen up all made anew, and with new powers to glorify Him that
hath been merciful! This is already the better life! Why did we not
find it sooner?”
“Let us not look back,” answered Hester Prynne.
“The past is gone! Wherefore should we linger upon it now? See!
With this symbol, I undo it all, and make it as it had never
been!”
So speaking, she undid the clasp that fastened
the scarlet letter, and, taking it from her bosom, threw it to a
distance among the withered leaves. The mystic token alighted on
the hither verge of the stream. With a hand’s breadth farther
flight it would have fallen into the water, and have given the
little brook another woe to carry onward, besides the
unintelligible tale which it still kept murmuring about. But there
lay the embroidered letter, glittering like a lost jewel, which
some ill-fated wanderer might pick up, and thenceforth be haunted
by strange phantoms of guilt, sinkings of the heart, and
unaccountable misfortune.
The stigma gone, Hester heaved a long, deep
sigh, in which the burden of shame and anguish departed from her
spirit. O exquisite relief! She had not known the weight, until she
felt the freedom! By another impulse, she took off the formal cap
that confined her hair; and down it fell upon her shoulders, dark
and rich, with at once a shadow and a light in its abundance, and
imparting the charm of softness to her features. There played
around her mouth, and beamed out of her eyes, a radiant and tender
smile, that seemed gushing from the very heart of womanhood. A
crimson flush was glowing on her cheek, that had been long so pale.
Her sex, her youth, and the whole richness of her beauty, came back
from what men call the irrevocable past, and clustered themselves,
with her maiden hope, and a happiness before unknown, within the
magic circle of this hour. And, as if the gloom of the earth and
sky had been but the effluence of these two mortal hearts, it
vanished with their sorrow. All at once, as with a sudden smile of
heaven, forth burst the sunshine, pouring a very flood into the
obscure forest, gladdening each green leaf, transmuting the yellow
fallen ones to gold, and gleaming adown the gray trunks of the
solemn trees. The objects that had made a shadow hitherto, embodied
the brightness now. The course of the little brook might be traced
by its merry gleam afar into the wood’s heart of mystery, which had
become a mystery of joy.
Such was the sympathy of Nature—that wild,
heathen Nature of the forest, never subjugated by human law, nor
illumined by higher truth—with the bliss of these two spirits!
Love, whether newly born, or aroused from a deathlike slumber, must
always create a sunshine, filling the heart so full of radiance,
that it overflows upon the outward world. Had the forest still kept
its gloom, it would have been bright in Hester’s eyes, and bright
in Arthur Dimmesdale’s!
Hester looked at him with the thrill of another
joy. “Thou must know Pearl!” said she. “Our little Pearl! Thou hast
seen her,—yes, I know it!—but thou wilt see her now with other
eyes. She is a strange child! I hardly comprehend her! But thou
wilt love her dearly, as I do, and wilt advise me how to deal with
her.”
“Dost thou think the child will be glad to know
me?” asked the minister, somewhat uneasily. “I have long shrunk
from children, because they often show a distrust,—a backwardness
to be familiar with me. I have even been afraid of little
Pearl!”
“Ah, that was sad!” answered the mother. “But
she will love thee dearly, and thou her. She is not far off. I will
call her! Pearl! Pearl!”
“I see the child,” observed the minister.
“Yonder she is, standing in a streak of sunshine, a good way off,
on the other side of the brook. So thou thinkest the child will
love me?”
Hester smiled, and again called to Pearl, who
was visible, at some distance, as the minister had described her,
like a bright-apparelled vision, in a sunbeam, which fell down upon
her through an arch of boughs. The ray quivered to and fro, making
her figure dim or distinct,—now like a real child, now like a
child’s spirit,—as the splendor went and came again. She heard her
mother’s voice, and approached slowly through the forest.
Pearl had not found the hour pass wearisomely,
while her mother sat talking with the clergyman. The great black
forest—stern as it showed itself to those who brought the guilt and
troubles of the world into its bosom—became the playmate of the
lonely infant, as well as it knew how. Sombre as it was, it put on
the kindest of its moods to welcome her. It offered her the
partridge-berries, the growth of the preceding autumn, but ripening
only in the spring, and now red as drops of blood upon the withered
leaves. These Pearl gathered, and was pleased with their wild
flavor. The small denizens of the wilderness hardly took pains to
move out of her path. A partridge, indeed, with a brood of ten
behind her, ran forward threateningly, but soon repented of her
fierceness, and clucked to her young ones not to be afraid. A
pigeon, alone on a low branch, allowed Pearl to come beneath, and
uttered a sound as much of greeting as alarm. A squirrel, from the
lofty depths of his domestic tree, chattered either in anger or
merriment,—for a squirrel is such a choleric and humorous little
personage that it is hard to distinguish between his moods,—so he
chattered at the child, and flung down a nut upon her head. It was
a last year’s nut, and already gnawed by his sharp tooth. A fox,
startled from his sleep by her light foot-step on the leaves,
looked inquisitively at Pearl, as doubting whether it were better
to steal off, or renew his nap on the same spot. A wolf, it is
said,—but here the tale has surely lapsed into the improbable,
—came up, and smelt of Pearl’s robe, and offered his savage head to
be patted by her hand. The truth seems to be, however, that the
mother-forest, and these wild things which it nourished, all
recognized a kindred wildness in the human child.
And she was gentler here than in the
grassy-margined streets of the settlement, or in her mother’s
cottage. The flowers appeared to know it; and one and another
whispered, as she passed, “Adorn thyself with me, thou beautiful
child, adorn thyself with me!”—and, to please them, Pearl gathered
the violets, and anemones, and columbines, and some twigs of the
freshest green, which the old trees held down before her eyes. With
these she decorated her hair, and her young waist, and became a
nymph-child, or an infant dryad, or whatever else was in closest
sympathy with the antique wood. In such guise had Pearl adorned
herself, when she heard her mother’s voice, and came slowly
back.
Slowly; for she saw the clergyman!