I didn’t want to sleep with Shelly. I merely wanted to use the couch to take a nap since it was late when I arrived. A summer shower had slowed traffic down on the turnpike and it was murder making it through the Holland Tunnel. When I parked my car I had only one thing on my mind, some peace, quiet, and rest. I even tried checking into a nearby hotel but they were all booked. Saturday night in Manhattan gets that way.

I reached my floor and headed toward my door. Inside all was quiet and there were boxes everywhere as Shelly was preparing to vacate the apartment. I looked down the hall and could see the television on in Amani’s room and headed that way. I didn’t want to wake her. She hadn’t seen me in almost two months. I walked up to her door and saw that she was sleeping soundly. What I also noticed was that she had company. There was another little girl sleeping at the foot of her bed. They looked like two little angels that had overdosed on pizza and soft drinks. The empty box was on the floor next to the controller of the GameCube. There were a couple of DVDs on the floor next to the television as evidence that there had been a little party going on.

I watched her sleep for a moment and then I turned and headed for the living room. On the way back I walked to the master bedroom. I looked in and saw my wife sleeping soundly. I have to admit that I felt a strange mix of feelings take over me. She was still beautiful and still my wife, but she was in a negligee, one I’d purchased no less, lying in bed with another man. He was sleeping so soundly you would have thought that it was his house.

Not knowing exactly what to do, I did nothing. I took a closer look and recognized him. The guy with the daughter at Amani’s school, it made sense. I had been replaced with the other half of a ready-made family. Ricky Reyes. I hadn’t forgotten his name. He was a Lenny Kravitz–looking mofo, with his shirt off in an apartment I was paying for. I thought about walking over to him and cracking his head open just for general principle, but then a thought came over me. It was the same type of clarity that I felt when I’d been on that flight from Chicago. My mind raced with thoughts of all that I’d done and taken Shelly and Nina through.

Right there in that moment, she had peace and comfort. My daughter was in her room in child’s heaven. She had a friend and a sister perhaps. Me, I’d been a user, irresponsible, and the opposite of a real man. I’d crossed forbidden boundaries and had hurt the union of a sisterhood. Worse than that I hadn’t yet been worth it. By ending things with Nina, I had started to right the ship. By walking out of that apartment and swallowing my pride I would take another step.

I turned around to walk out and as I gathered my things I heard a voice, “Daddy.”

I looked over and saw Amani. A smile formed on her sleepy face and I felt my heart melt. She’d called me “Daddy.” In that moment I had all the answers I would need. My daughter would love me, no matter what. “I missed you, honey, so much,” I said in a whisper.

“I missed you too.” We were locked in a hug.

“Listen, sweetie, I want you to go back to bed and I’ll come and see you tomorrow. We can go anywhere you want.”

“Can Kali come?” she asked.

“If her daddy says it’s okay.”

“It’s fine with me,” I heard a male voice say behind me.

I looked at him and he looked back. I turned back to Amani. “Baby, go on back to sleep. Daddy just stopped in for a second to see you, but I’ll be back in the morning.”

“What time?” she shot back.

“What time would you like?”

“Eight o’clock.”

“That’s a little early. How about noon?”

She nodded her head. “Okay.” I gave her a kiss and she headed back to bed.

I made my way to the door, bag in hand. “Tell Shelly I’ll see her around noon if you don’t mind.”

“No problem. Nice to see you again.”

“I bet,” I said as I exited. Trying to keep from getting an attitude, I thought of all the things I had done to bring this on myself. My pride was crushed for the moment but I had it coming. It was life. My life.

“Look what the cat done dragged in,” Terri said as I made my way to the bar. I had driven straight to Justin’s. I had an hour till closing and I knew that Terri would set me straight. “The usual?” she asked.

“And then some,” I replied. “You know I’m really beat.”

“You look it,” she said. I’d begun to forget how sexy she sounded with that accent. “Where you staying, sexy?”

“With you if you’ve got the space in your bed.”

She laughed. “You know your ass is a funky trip. You come through, hit it on your way out of town. I don’t hear from you for what…two months…now you want to come back unannounced and come lay up?”

I smiled. “Hey,” I said.

“You fine and all but I don’t know who you think you are?”

I grabbed the shot she’d given me and slammed it. “I’m Rick James, bitch,” I said imitating Dave Chapelle.

She burst out laughing and poured me another. “You tired,” she said, reaching into her purse. “Here.” She threw me the keys. “You remember my apartment right, it’s 209.”

“124th?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you in a couple hours.”

“Thanks.”

She smiled, letting me know that she was glad to be of some help to a brother in need.

There was no sex with Terri, she’d let me sleep. Told me I was snoring when she came in. I woke up and she was getting ready for church. We made some small talk while she fixed me a quick breakfast of bagels, eggs, and turkey sausage on her George Foreman grill.

We kicked it like buddies and I explained to her my reason for coming to the city this weekend. She gave me some advice that I heeded. “Cory, no matter what, keep the bond strong between you and your daughter. If you move on or if she does, don’t be a fucking hater. As long as that man is good to your seed, then don’t worry your head ’bout it a bit.”

After breakfast I left Terri, promising to do better with keeping in touch. I headed downtown to spend some time with my daughter and to set up a time in which Shelly and I could file our papers for a legal separation.