CHAPTER TEN
STARBOARDIA
The following morning, the entire ship was awoken by a loud clanging coming from above deck.
“LAAAAAND HOOOO!” Siren Sue yelled, and rang the bell in the crow’s nest.
The pirates, the sailors, and the twins quickly swung out of their hammocks and ran up the steps to the lower deck. They dashed to the bowsprit and joined Auburn Sally and Admiral Jacobson at the front of the ship. The sun had just started rising and slowly shed light on an island directly ahead. It had a beach littered with wooden debris and was covered in a thick forest of tropical trees. The crew could make out the tip of a large fortress towering over the trees in the center of the island.
“That’s it!” Conner yelled. “That’s Starboardia!”
There wasn’t any time to rejoice because the discovery was immediately followed by the thunderous sounds of firing cannons.
“We’ve got company!” Siren Sue shouted, and pointed to the ocean behind the Dolly Llama.
Like a stampede, the twins, the pirates, and the sailors ran across the lower deck, climbed the steps to the upper deck, and crowded the railing at the back of the ship. The five large pirate ships of Smoky-Sails Sam’s fleet were so close, they could smell the torches burning above the sails—and the ships were headed right for them.
The ship in the center was the largest and Alex knew it was the Vengeance without having to ask. It was the color of charcoal and flew enormous black sails. The Vengeance’s sides and bow were covered in metal spikes, making it resemble a large floating cactus. A flag with an image of broken shackles flew proudly at the top of the tallest mast.
All the decks of the five-ship fleet were swarming with pirates eager for a fight. The Vengeance fired its cannons at the Dolly Llama and cannonballs splashed in the water beside it. Each splash crept closer and closer to the ship.
“We’ve got to get to the island now!” Conner yelled.
Auburn Sally stood on a barrel and whistled to get her crew’s attention. “Everyone gather as many weapons as you can carry and head to the boats,” she ordered. “We’ll lower ourselves to the water and row to the island.”
“They’re going to blow the ship apart!” Admiral Jacobson said. “We don’t have time to lower the boats! We have to abandon ship now!”
Conner shared a fearful look with his sister and they read each other’s mind—a little more magic couldn’t hurt.
“Everyone follow the captain’s orders,” Alex said. “I’ll keep the pirates busy until we get off the ship.”
The crew nodded and split up at once. Alex stood on the railing and faced the oncoming fleet. She twirled her index fingers in the air and two cyclones rose out of the water between the Dolly Llama and the Vengeance. She pointed at the fleet and the cyclones whizzed toward the pirate ships like bulls released from a pen. The pirates abandoned their vessels and dived into the water. The cyclones crashed into two of the five ships and obliterated them completely.
While Alex stalled the fleet, the crew aboard the Dolly Llama unloaded four heavy chests filled with weapons. They stuffed their vests, pants, coats, and boots with as many rifles, swords, and daggers as possible. Conner ran belowdecks and retrieved the twins’ backpacks. As he headed back up, he found the Rosary Chicken on the steps behind him.
“Bagawk?” the chicken asked, tilting her head.
“I’m sorry, but battle is no place for a chicken,” Conner said. “You need to stay on the ship.”
“Bagawk!” she squawked, horribly offended.
“I’m not calling you a chicken—you are a chicken!” he said. “This is ridiculous! I’m arguing with a typo!”
The Rosary Chicken puffed out her feathers and extended her wings. She had the heart of a turkey, the determination of a duck, and the bravery of a goose. Misspelled or not, she was ready for combat.
“Fine, but you have to stay in my bag,” Conner said.
He tucked the Rosary Chicken into his backpack and left the zipper open enough so the chicken could peek her head out. Conner met his sister on the upper deck and handed Alex her backpack. They joined Auburn Sally and Admiral Jacobson in a boat and were lowered into the water. Once the entire crew was off the Dolly Llama, they rowed the boats to the shore of Starboardia.
Smoky-Sails Sam’s men weren’t too far behind. All five hundred pirates swam after the Dolly Llama’s crew. There was so much splashing, it looked like a school of hungry sharks was headed for the island.
“Everyone follow me,” Conner told the crew. “The fortress is just through these trees!”
Alex, Auburn Sally, Admiral Jacobson, and the crew followed Conner as he raced through the tropical trees. The admiral’s first mate gave Somersault Sydney a piggyback ride so she could keep up. Except for a few birds and a couple of large iguanas, the island was mostly deserted. They emerged into a clearing in the center of the island and found the legendary fortress of Starboardia.
“My God,” Auburn Sally said.
“Conner.” Alex gasped. “It’s amazing!”
It was a breathtaking sight and everyone stopped in their tracks to take it in. The fortress was like a large Mayan pyramid constructed entirely out of broken pieces from hundreds of old ships. Everywhere they looked they spotted masts, bowsprits, sails, planks, bows, wheels, rudders, crow’s nests, and flags all pieced together to form one massive structure.
It was twelve levels high and looked like a labyrinth of ladders, slides, rope bridges, swings, and tunnels. It was like a gigantic jungle gym, but it definitely wasn’t for children. The structure was built on stilts over a shallow lake with sharp rocks that was home to dozens of alligators. The only way inside the pyramid was up a rickety staircase that led to the first level.
The Dolly Llama’s crew carefully climbed up the steps and entered the fortress. The inside was hollow and the bottom floor gave a perfect view of the eleven levels above it. Hanging in the very center of the pyramid like a chandelier was a heavy net filled with a dozen large boulders. It hung from a chain connected to a ceiling full of gears, and was secured by twenty-one ropes. Scattered all over the floor were the safe areas outlined in red that Conner had informed them about.
“Well,” Alex said as she glanced around the fortress uneasily. “Is it like you were expecting?”
“That and more,” Conner said breathlessly. “I feel like I planted a seed and all this grew.”
The crew heard the trees rustling outside the pyramid. They walked to the edge of the first level and saw Smoky-Sails Sam’s army of five hundred pirates emerge into the clearing. The men were so rugged and filthy, they made Auburn Sally’s pirates look like contestants in a beauty pageant. They were soaking wet from their swim, and thanks to the red worms Alex had left on the Parakeet Islands, their raggedy clothes were stained with bird droppings. After a wild-goose chase around the Caribbean, the pirates were ready to take out their aggression on the Dolly Llama’s crew.
Most of the pirates were covered in tattoos and had missing limbs, teeth, eyeballs, and ears. Their appendages weren’t replaced by traditional hooks and peg legs, but rather by daggers, razors blades, and metal spears.
Smoky-Sails Sam was in the last group of pirates to step into the clearing. He was seven feet tall with a long dreadlock beard. His coat, hat, belt, and boots were all made from black leather. A long sword proportionate to his height and a silver revolver hung from his belt. His appearance was just as intimidating as his reputation.
The pirate known as Killy Billy stood beside him. He had large bulging eyes and greasy hair. He was shirtless and his chest, arms, and back were covered with tattooed tally marks—each strike represented someone he had killed.
Just like the Dolly Llama crew had, Smoky-Sails Sam’s men stared up at the structure in astonishment, as if they were facing a forgotten Wonder of the World.
“What do we have here,” Smoky-Sails Sam said in a deep, raspy voice. “It looks like little Christine Connelly has discovered Starboardia.”
“Look: up there!” Killy Billy said. He pointed to the crew on the first level of the fortress. “It’s the thief and her hags! And they have Admiral Jacobson and his navy dogs with them!”
“Joined forces to finish me off, have you?” Smoky-Sails Sam chuckled. “It’s going to take more than an ancient tree house to defeat my men.”
The Dolly Llama’s crew gulped in fear. Auburn Sally put on a brave face and roared with laughter.
“Did you hear that?” the captain asked. “Smoky-Sails Sam thinks he has men! It’s funny, because I don’t see any men below us—I only see swine.”
The pirates roared angrily at the women and men on the pyramid.
“Don’t worry, boys,” Smoky-Sails Sam said. “We’ll put Captain Auburn Sally in her place! Just like everyone who steals from me, she’ll end up at the bottom of the Atlantic! ATTACK!”
The pirates charged up the staircase and stormed into the fortress. The Dolly Llama crew spread out on all levels of the pyramid and Smoky-Sails Sam’s men followed them. The clanking of swords echoed through the structure as Auburn Sally’s women and Admiral Jacobson’s men bravely took on Smoky-Sails Sam’s crew.
Once all five hundred pirates were inside the structure, Auburn Sally pointed her pistol at the ropes supporting the net of boulders and fired. The net descended several feet, pulling on the gears above, and the fortress came to life.
The pyramid worked more like a clock than Conner was anticipating. As the gears were pulled by the net, all twelve levels of the fortress rotated. The even levels turned clockwise, the odd levels turned counterclockwise, and the booby traps were triggered. The first chime went off and the Dolly Llama crew quickly found areas marked in red to stand on, crouch under, or hide behind.
Winking Wendy and the navy sailors were fighting Sam’s pirates on the first level. They stepped into red circles drawn on the floor and watched as all the pirates around them fell through trapdoors and plunged into the lake below the fortress.
The alligators splashed around happily—the conflict above was going to supply the biggest meal they ever had.
The second level of the pyramid was covered in rope bridges. Sam’s pirates chased Fish-Lips Lucy around one side and Pancake-Face Patty around the other, and the women met on a red platform between bridges. When the traps were set off, the bridges snapped like large slingshots and the pirates were launched off the pyramid.
Stinky-Feet Phoebe and Peg-Leg Peggy were dueling pirates in a long wooden tunnel between the third and fourth levels. Five seconds after the first chime went off, the women curled into a cubby outlined in red. A massive stone rolled through the tunnel, knocking Smoky-Sails Sam’s men down like bowling pins. It rolled right past the women without leaving a scratch.
On the fifth level, Somersault Sydney and the admiral’s first mate were battling eight of Sam’s pirates each. They slid under a red platform just as stone blocks from the ceiling fell on top of their attackers. Somersault Sydney barely made it under the platform in time—she would have lost her legs if she hadn’t already.
High-Tide Tabitha and Catfish Kate were fighting pirates back to back on a staircase between the sixth and seventh levels. They stayed on the only red step, and the rest of the staircase flattened into a slide. The pirates slid down the slide and into a shoot that dropped them into the lake below.
Big-Booty Bertha had taken a wrong turn on the eighth level and was surrounded by Smoky-Sails Sam’s pirates. The floor was tiled and Big-Booty Bertha sighed with relief when she looked down and saw she was standing on the only red tile. Sharp spikes shot up from the floor and pierced through the pirates’ feet. They grabbed their injured feet and hopped around in pain. Unfortunately, Big-Booty Bertha’s backside was larger than the tile and one of her buttocks was scratched by a spike.
On the ninth level of the pyramid, Siren Sue was running from pirates shooting rifles at her. She dived behind a red door just as an avalanche of logs swept through the level. The pirates were knocked down and rolled off the pyramid with the logs.
Not-So-Jolly Joan and Too-Much-Rum Ronda wandered around the tenth level looking for someplace safe to hide. They weren’t paying attention and fell right through a trapdoor and directly into a cage. It wasn’t an ideal place to be, but the women figured they were safe enough. Too-Much-Rum Ronda and Not-So-Jolly Joan shared a bottle of rum while they watched their friends battle the pirates around them.
The floor of the eleventh level was covered with unstable floorboards that spun, teetered, or just broke as soon as they were stepped on. Auburn Sally and Admiral Jacobson fought Sam’s pirates while keeping their balance on the stable floorboards painted red. To make matters worse, the eleventh level was also subjected to large swinging blades that the captain and the admiral had to avoid. The blades sliced into Sam’s pirates and knocked them out of the pyramid.
From the twelfth and top level of the pyramid, Alex and Conner could see the Dolly Llama crew fighting the pirates on all the levels below. Conner heard something rattling at the bottom of his backpack and found that the Rosary Chicken had laid a bunch of eggs inside it—the excitement was too much for her.
“Not so brave now, are you?” Conner said.
The Rosary Chicken lowered her head in shame. The twins threw the eggs at the pirates below, causing them to slip and slide off the structure. They caught the attention of Killy Billy, and the murderous pirate climbed up to the twelfth level, bringing a gang of pirates with him.
“Here, kiddy kiddies,” the tattooed pirate called after them. “I’ve got enough room on my right arm for two more victims!”
“Go take a long walk off a short plank!” Conner yelled back.
Killy Billy and the pirates chased the twins around the top of the fortress. When they reached the south side, the floor crumbled under their feet. The twins spotted red monkey bars above and grabbed them to keep from falling. Unfortunately, Killy Billy and the pirates saw them, too, and hung from them as well. They swung toward the twins and tried to knock them off.
The Rosary Chicken fluttered out of Conner’s backpack and began pecking at one of the pirates’ fingers until they slipped from the bars. Then she moved on to the next pirate. Soon, Killy Billy was the only pirate left hanging. He kept one hand on the bars and reached for his rifle with the other. Alex gave him a nasty look and all the tally marks tattooed on his body magically turned into ticks. The pests dug into his skin and he screamed. He lost his grip on the bars and fell all the way through the fortress and landed in the lake below. The alligators dived after him, and Killy Billy never resurfaced.
Alex and Conner swung across the bars to solid floor. The Rosary Chicken crawled back into Conner’s backpack and boastfully clucked up at him.
“Okay, you’ve redeemed yourself,” Conner said. “Don’t get a big head about it. No one likes a cocky chicken.”
Every thirty seconds, another chime would ring, another rope would snap, and the Dolly Llama crew would find another red zone to shield themselves from the traps of the pyramid. Smoky-Sails Sam’s pirates weren’t so lucky. His men were dropping like flies around the fortress. Soon, they were reduced to half their original size, then to a quarter, and then the numbers between Smoky-Sails Sam’s crew and the Dolly Llama crew were even. At this rate, it wouldn’t be long before Sam’s men were outnumbered.
Smoky-Sails Sam didn’t care about his pirates as much as he cared about retribution. He pushed his way through the structure, carefully avoiding the traps, and headed for Auburn Sally.
When eleven of the twenty-one ropes had snapped and the pyramid was halfway through its course, all the traps ceased and the areas in red stopped being safe zones. Instead, the red platforms, cubbies, and tiles started transporting the Dolly Llama crew members to different levels throughout the fortress.
Winking Wendy was catapulted from the first level to the third by a spring hidden in the floor. Siren Sue was dropped into a slide on the ninth level that spat her out on the seventh. The platforms High-Tide Tabitha and Catfish Kate stood on were connected and turned into a lift—High-Tide Tabitha descended into the level below, and her weight sent Catfish Kate into the level above.
Alex and Conner were standing on a red ledge when it suddenly collapsed and dumped them into a small cart. The cart rolled down a hidden track through the pyramid, and the twins felt like they were on a roller coaster. They tripped and pushed all the pirates as they zoomed past them and high-fived the Dolly Llama crew as they went.
On the eleventh level, Auburn Sally and Admiral Jacobson ran across a wooden bridge that suddenly dropped two levels down and swung through the air by chain ropes. Like a faulty elevator, every thirty seconds the bridge descended another two levels. The captain and the admiral would hop off the bridge, help their crew fight the remaining pirates, and then ride it down farther.
The element of surprise was exactly what the Dolly Llama crew needed to defeat the remaining pirates of Smoky-Sails Sam’s fleet. The pirates lost all sense of the whereabouts of the men and women they were fighting, which left them confused and more vulnerable. By now there were fewer than fifty of Sam’s pirates left in the fortress. Not wanting to end up in the lake or fall into a trap, the remaining pirates evacuated the fortress and fled into the trees.
The Dolly Llama had successfully reduced Smoky-Sails Sam’s crew to nothing, but there wasn’t cause for celebration yet. Smoky-Sails Sam himself was nowhere to be found.
When the captain and the admiral’s bridge dropped to the fifth level, Smoky-Sails Sam appeared out of nowhere and leaped onto the bridge with his sword raised.
Auburn Sally and Admiral Jacobson fought the manic pirate as the bridge swung and spun violently through the air. All three had to keep one hand on the railing so they weren’t flung off it.
The Dolly Llama crew watched in horror as the bridge descended through the center of the pyramid—but there was nothing anyone could do. The twins’ cart reached the first level and slid across the floor. They narrowly missed being crushed as the bridge crashed to the floor beside them.
Smoky-Sails Sam’s sword was bent in the crash, so he tossed it aside. The large pirate picked up Auburn Sally by her coat and threw her across the floor. Admiral Jacobson charged him with his sword raised above his head. Smoky-Sails Sam swiftly removed the rifle from his belt and shot the admiral directly in the chest.
“No!” Alex screamed.
“Admiral!” his first mate yelled.
Jacobson’s eyes fluttered shut and he collapsed on the floor. Smoky-Sails Sam turned and aimed his rifle at Auburn Sally. Alex tried to think of something magical to save the captain, but she was so distraught, her mind went blank.
“Any last words, Christine?” Smoky-Sails Sam growled.
“Yes,” Auburn Sally said. “In Red, Ain’t Dead.”
The final chime rang through the structure. Smoky-Sails Sam looked to the floor and saw he had thrown Auburn Sally directly into an area outlined in red. The last rope snapped, and just as Smoky-Sails Sam glanced upward, the heavy net of boulders fell directly on top of him. The Starboardia fortress had finished the job.
It was so quiet, the Dolly Llama crew could hear one another’s heartbeats. All eyes were on the slain admiral. Everyone assumed the captain was in shock, because she just stared at Admiral Jacobson’s body as if he would get up at any moment.
Tears rolled down Alex’s cheeks and she buried her face in her brother’s shoulder. “This is so sad,” she said. “I can’t look.”
Conner rubbed his sister’s back as he looked around at the devastated men and women throughout the structure. He scrunched his lips to hide a smile—he knew something they didn’t.
Admiral Jacobson suddenly sat straight up with a loud gasp that startled everyone in the pyramid. He pulled on a gold chain around his neck and lifted the Heart of the Caribbean out from under his shirt. The bullet had been stopped by the large ruby.
“Ouch,” the admiral said as he rubbed his chest. “That still really hurt!”
As far as anyone was concerned, it was a miracle! The fortress vibrated from the crew’s thankful cheers. When Alex saw her brother smiling, she hit him in the chest.
“You knew that was going to happen the whole time, didn’t you?” she asked. “You knew the admiral was going to live, and you just stood there and let us think he had been killed! You were playing with our emotions for fun!”
His sister’s angry accusation made him laugh so hard, he could barely breathe.
“I’m sorry, but I wanted to see your reaction to the end of the story,” Conner confessed. “The fact that you were so invested in the characters and didn’t see the surprise coming means I did something right, right?”
Alex was so mad at her brother, she turned her back and walked a few steps away from him to calm down. Auburn Sally got to her feet and helped the admiral to his.
“Aren’t you glad I gave you my heart?” Auburn Sally asked.
“Both times it saved my life,” Admiral Jacobson said.
The captain and the admiral shared a passionate kiss, and the Dolly Llama crew whistled and hollered at the lovebirds.
“We did it!” Auburn Sally declared. “We defeated Smoky-Sails Sam and his fleet! His reign of terror in the Caribbean is over!”
The men and women cheered even louder than before. They embraced one another and held up their weapons in victory. Not-So-Jolly Joan and Too-Much-Rum Ronda raised their bottle from inside the cage.
“And since Commander Bailey has so generously and bravely helped us with our enemy, we must return the favor,” the admiral added.
The Dolly Llama crew went silent and their postures sank. They were hoping to go on a vacation after defeating the most feared pirate on the ocean.
“How do we get there?” Auburn Sally asked. “I hope it’s not by sailing in circles to the left.”
Conner pulled his binder of short stories out of his backpack and set it on the floor. He flipped it open to the glowing pages of “Starboardia,” and the beam of light illuminated the fortress.
“It’s much easier than that,” he said. “We just step through the beam of light and we’ll be there in no time.”
The pirates and the sailors stared down at the glowing book nervously. Their captain and admiral nodded at them reassuringly, but even they were a little apprehensive. Conner tapped Alex on the shoulder.
“Are you ready to go home, or are you going to stay behind and pout a little longer?” he asked with a sly grin.
It took everything in Alex not to smile back, but after a moment she couldn’t resist.
“Okay—I suppose you got me,” she said. “You’re right, I wouldn’t have been so worked up if I didn’t care about the characters so much. It’s a testament to good writing, and you should be pleased with yourself. I completely forgot we were even in your story. For a few moments there, I truly believed with all my heart that we were living through… through…”
“What?” Conner asked.
“Well.” Alex laughed. “A pirate adventure.”