CHAPTER EIGHT

THE WRATH OF SMOKY-SAILS SAM

Things were calm belowdecks on the Dolly Llama. Alex and Conner shared a small cell, while Admiral Jacobson and his men occupied four larger ones. Everyone was silent, not from the embarrassment of defeat, but from the sheer exhaustion of the battle. In all fairness, the sailors didn’t seem disappointed by their loss and sat rather comfortably in the cells. Many were stretched out and gently rocked to sleep by the sway of the ship.

“Don’t worry, men,” Admiral Jacobson said as he paced around his cell. “We will find a way off this vessel and bring the pirates to justice! Those criminals may imprison us now, but soon we shall escape and make the British Navy proud!”

The sailors looked around the cells to see whom the Admiral was talking to, because none of them were too worried or eager to change the situation. After months of strenuous labor operating the Royal Tantrum, imprisonment was a nice change of pace for them.

“Save it, Admiral,” Conner said. “The whole crew knows you’ve got the hots for Auburn Sally. No one is expecting to escape anytime soon.”

The admiral was outraged by his insinuation. “How dare you suggest I welcomed the sinking of my ship or allowed pirates to capture my men!” he said. “I would never betray Britain with affection for a scoundrel like Captain Auburn Sally!”

Conner sighed and shook his head. “Raise your hand if you knew this was going to happen,” he said. “Come on, don’t be shy.”

He raised his hand and Alex quickly followed. One by one, the sailors raised their hands, too, and the admiral was faced with a rude awakening. Despite his efforts to shield it, the heart on his sleeve was just as visible as the badges of honor on his coat.

“You mean, you’ve all known the entire time?” he asked.

The sailors nodded in unison with the twins.

“To be honest, Admiral,” said the first mate, “I don’t think any of us knew you were trying to hide it. We don’t hold it against you, though. The whole reason we joined the navy in the first place was to have an adventure, and there’s never been a dull moment chasing these dames around the sea.”

The admiral wanted to argue further, but the jig was clearly up. Instead of clearing his reputation, he just shrugged and had a seat on the floor.

“Well, I suppose that’s a relief, then,” Jacobson said.

The admiral lost all desire to form an escape plan. He put his feet up on the metal bars and enjoyed the quiet and calm of the cells with the rest of his crew. Conner, on the other hand, was growing more agitated by the second. His mission to locate and recruit his characters was going to be much more difficult now that he had refused his sister’s help.

“So what happens next in this story?” Alex asked with a yawn.

“Auburn Sally is going to invite Admiral Jacobson to dinner in her chambers,” Conner said. “They’ll admit their affection for each other and then Jacobson will convince his sailors to join Auburn Sally’s crew of pirates.”

“Nice,” Alex said. “And you still think ‘Starboardia’ isn’t a love story?”

Conner grunted. “Okay, fine—it’s a love story,” he said. “You’ve identified your brother as a big sap. Are you happy now?”

Alex laughed. “I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to admit it,” she said. “Plenty of men write romances.”

“I never meant to write a romance,” Conner said. “I just thought Jack and Goldilocks had a really cool story. Everyone wants to be a hero, but Jack gave it up to be with the person he loved. He didn’t care what people thought of him—Goldilocks was more important to him than his reputation. It takes courage to face a giant, but it takes a true hero to stand up to the world. I guess I wanted to celebrate that by putting it into my own story.”

A smile grew on Alex’s face as she listened to her brother. He kept his feelings hidden behind an emotional brick wall, but every so often she managed to knock a hole through it and peek inside.

“You’re not a sap, but you’re definitely a hopeless romantic,” she said. “I think Mrs. Peters was right. You’re going to learn a lot about yourself traveling through these stories.”

Conner didn’t want to agree with her, but he knew she was right. “Oh brother,” he said. “Next thing you know, I’ll be collecting porcelain dolls and listening to polka music.”

The doors opened and Winking Wendy and Somersault Sydney walked in. They rattled the cell bars with their weapons to disturb their captives, but the tranquil sailors didn’t even look up. The pirates unlocked the admiral’s cell and pulled him out by the ponytail.

“Ouch!” Jacobson shouted. “What’s the meaning of this?”

“The captain wants you to join her for dinner,” Winking Wendy said.

The sailors hooted and whistled, making the admiral blush. Winking Wendy flashed them her empty eye socket and they quickly quieted down. The pirates unlocked the door of the twins’ cell next.

“What’s going on?” Conner asked.

“Captain wants you two to join her as well,” Somersault Sydney said.

Conner wasn’t expecting this. Up to this moment, every beat of the story had followed his writing without a hitch. He hoped it meant his warning about Smoky-Sails Sam had caught the captain’s attention.

The pirates escorted the twins and the admiral through the Dolly Llama to the upper deck. They opened a pair of double doors and pushed the twins and the admiral into the captain’s quarters.

Auburn Sally’s private chambers were the most elegant part of the ship. The walls were covered in red wallpaper and gold crown molding. A crystal chandelier hung over a long wooden table set for four. The captain looked like she was deep in thought when they arrived. She sat in the back of her chambers at a desk with several maps of the Caribbean spread across it. She was sitting with one foot up and spun a dagger on the desk like a dreidel. Her hat and coat were hung on a rack beside the desk, exposing her full head of long wavy hair.

“Your guests, Captain,” Winking Wendy said as she presented the twins and the admiral.

“Thank you,” Auburn Sally said. “You may leave us.”

Winking Wendy and Somersault Sydney left the chambers, shutting the double doors behind them. Conner had written the next part of the story as a romantic dinner between the captain and the admiral, but obviously things had changed. As soon as they entered, Auburn Sally fixated on him with an inquisitive, unwavering stare.

“Since you seem to know everything, I imagine there’s no point in pretending the admiral and I are adversaries,” she said.

“Nope,” Conner said. “You guys are in a complicated long-distance relationship.”

“Just for the record,” Alex chimed in, “I think it’s very romantic.”

Conner gave his sister a dirty look—she was never going to let it go. The admiral glanced between the twins and the captain, waiting for someone to fill him in.

“Will someone explain how this lad knows so much about us?” he asked.

“According to him, we’re just characters in a story he’s written,” Auburn Sally said with amusement. “He believes everything in this world is just a figment of his imagination.”

Conner didn’t appreciate the disdainful tone in her voice. The admiral looked at him just like everyone else had after hearing the pronouncement.

“Have I done or said anything to contradict it?” Conner asked. “Because I’m pretty sure I’ve been right about everything so far.”

Auburn Sally glared at him and a challenging look came to her face.

“I have something hidden underneath my shirt,” the captain said. “There are only four people alive who know it exists. Two are in this room, and one is the Queen of England. Guess correctly, and I might take you more seriously.”

Conner knew exactly what she was referring to and didn’t waste a minute to prove it. “You’re wearing a necklace called the Heart of the Caribbean,” he said. “It’s the most prized piece of jewelry in the Western Hemisphere. It was given to Governor Connelly by Queen Anne as a token of her appreciation for governing the small island of Saint Ballena.”

The intensity in Auburn Sally’s face dissolved and her mouth fell open. She and the admiral were completely dumbfounded. The captain pulled on a gold chain around her neck and lifted a large ruby necklace out of her blouse. The ruby was brighter than the crown molding and the chandelier put together.

Conner pointed at the jewel. “That’s what you stole from Smoky-Sails Sam,” he said. “And you’re wrong, by the way. There are five people alive who know it exists, seven including my sister and me. A pirate named Killy Billy saw you steal it. He’s the one who told Smoky-Sails Sam you have it, and now Sam is on his way to take it back.”

Alex was usually really good about filling in the blanks, but the lack of detail was getting frustrating.

“Would you mind sharing with the rest of the class who Smoky-Sails Sam is?” she asked.

Conner hesitated. He knew the story like the back of his hand; it just wasn’t a pleasant one to share.

“Smoky-Sails Sam is the most feared pirate in the Caribbean,” he explained. “He’s so powerful, the British Navy refuses to go anywhere near him. He has a fleet of five ships and hundreds of pirates. His ships burn rows of torches above their sails, leaving trails of smoke through the sky, so the whole Caribbean knows where they’ve been and where they’re headed. They obliterate any ship they encounter, whether it’s a threat or not.”

Alex gulped. This was exactly the kind of villain she was afraid her brother would create.

“He sounds charming,” Alex said. “How did he become so powerful?”

“Smoky-Sails Sam used to be a slave,” Conner said. “He was captured from an African village by slave traders and brought to the Caribbean on a slave ship. However, on the way over, he broke the chains that bound him and led the other slaves in a mutiny. They killed the slave traders and took over the ship. Sam became the new captain, the liberated slaves became his crew, and he renamed the ship the Vengeance.

“Unfortunately, the power went to Sam’s head. His crew wanted to go home, but Sam wanted to continue on and seek more revenge. He sailed the Vengeance to the small island of Saint Ballena and ordered his men to raid it. Governor Connelly sent word to the British Navy that they were under attack, but since the island was so small and valueless, the navy abandoned them. The governor and all the men on Saint Ballena were killed and their families were forced to work as servants.

“Since there was no government or authority on Saint Ballena, criminals from all over the Caribbean sailed there and joined Sam. Soon, he had enough men to form a fleet of pirate ships. They terrorized all the colonies nearby, growing stronger and stronger after every target they hit. The liberated slaves from the Vengeance wanted nothing to do with it, so they stole a ship from Sam’s fleet and headed back to Africa. Sam was so outraged, he sailed after them and sank their ship. The smoky debris from the destruction is how Sam became known as Smoky-Sails Sam, and the whole Caribbean learned of his ruthlessness.

“As time went on, Smoky-Sails Sam had a daughter named Sumire. Governor Connelly’s only child, a girl named Christine, was forced to work as her maid. The young women became very close and loved each other like sisters. Sumire helped Christine plan an escape from Saint Ballena. The Heart of the Caribbean was the only object of Governor Connelly’s that Smoky-Sails Sam did not destroy, so Christine stole it back before she left. It didn’t take long before Smoky-Sails Sam realized it was missing. To save her friend, Sumire took the blame. Rather than showing his only child any mercy, Smoky-Sails Sam made a gruesome example out of her. He cut her throat in front of his entire fleet, further proving his brutality, and no one ever stole from him again.

“Christine escaped from the island and sold the Heart of the Caribbean to a jewel merchant, but then stole it back the following day. The money she had acquired in the sale was enough to buy her own ship and hire a crew. She named the ship the Dolly Llama, and became known throughout the Caribbean as—”

“Auburn Sally!” Alex said, finishing her brother’s sentence.

“Correct,” Conner said. “When Jacobson became an admiral, his first assignment was to capture the sailing thief Auburn Sally. It was love at first sight, and they’ve been chasing each other around the Caribbean ever since. What the captain doesn’t know is that Killy Billy told Smoky-Sails Sam that he saw her steal the Heart of the Caribbean. Sam’s been following the Dolly Llama through the sea, too, and is getting closer by the minute. Since Sally’s the only person who’s stolen something from him and lived to see another day, he wants to make another gruesome example out of her.”

“Conner, that backstory is so dark! Why would you write something so dreadful?” Alex asked.

“I told you, it was based on a nightmare I had,” he said. “Besides, it’s not like real pirates were any better.”

Conner turned to Auburn Sally and Admiral Jacobson with desperation in his eyes. “Now do you believe I created you?” he asked.

The captain and the admiral were both astonished by Conner’s familiarity with their lives. Whoever he was, wherever he came from, they could no longer deny there was something unique and eerie about him.

“I believe you put pen to paper about all of this, but I’m still not convinced you created this world or the people in it,” Auburn Sally said.

Conner had rolled his eyes so many times, his sockets were getting sore. “So you think I plagiarized it?” he asked.

“Explorers are quick to claim the places they find, but they don’t create the land they raise flags on,” Auburn Sally said. “Perhaps all writers are nothing more than subconscious explorers, sailing across a sea of other worlds, and you’re just the first to discover ours.”

Alex was intrigued by the captain’s theory. She wondered if every fictional story she had ever read was more of an author’s discovery than his or her idea. Perhaps imagination was a subconscious map to uncharted worlds of the cosmos. It certainly would explain why her grandmother’s Portal Potion was so effective—it didn’t create the world the text described, but simply provided a doorway into a world that had always been there.

Conner was getting a headache trying to understand it himself. “That sounds really deep and complex, but you’re missing the point!” he said. “I’m trying to tell you that Smoky-Sails Sam’s fleet is headed here right now! He’s planning to kill all of you and take back the Heart of the Caribbean! But if you listen to us, we can help you avoid him!”

“How?” Admiral Jacobson asked.

“By helping my sister and me,” Conner explained. “I’m about to make you an offer—it’s going to be hard to grasp, so we might want to sit for this.”

Auburn Sally, the admiral, and the twins took seats around the long table.

“Do you want me to explain this part?” Alex asked.

“I told you, I got this,” Conner said, and cleared his throat. “You know that subconscious sea of other worlds you were just talking about? Well, for all intents and purposes, it exists! There’s another world that’s in big trouble—one I didn’t write about. All our friends live there and a horrible army has invaded it. My sister and I are recruiting people from a bunch of different worlds to help us fight the army. If you come with us and help us defeat them, we’ll bring you right back here.”

Conner grinned like he was being more than generous. The captain and the admiral exchanged a puzzled look—something didn’t add up.

“That’s not an offer,” Auburn Sally said. “An offer is an exchange. Taking us away from our problems, making us fight for you, then bringing us right back to our problems isn’t an exchange—it’s just more work for us.”

“She’s got a point,” Alex said.

“Okay,” Conner said, and quickly thought about something appealing to offer. “Well, if you help us, I’ll tell you how you defeat Smoky-Sails Sam.”

The captain and the admiral nodded as they considered it. Jacobson whispered something into Auburn Sally’s ear, like an attorney speaking with his client.

“So you’re telling us we defeat Smoky-Sails Sam?” the captain asked. “Regardless of whether we help you or not?”

“Duh!” Conner said with a snort. “That’s the whole point of this story.”

Alex slapped a hand against her forehead. Her brother was oblivious to what Auburn Sally was implying. She appointed herself as his attorney and pulled him aside to whisper in his ear.

“Conner, you basically just told them they don’t need to help you,” she whispered. “You need to make them an offer they can’t refuse.”

“Oh, dang it!” he said. “I should never have written them to be so cunning. Thanks for the heads-up.”

The twins turned back to the captain and the admiral. Conner let out a low, slow, and menacing chuckle.

“Silly, silly Sally,” he said. “What you don’t know is that the road to victory is long and tedious. There are dozens of battles, hundreds of casualties, and thousands of miles awaiting you. It takes years to learn what I could tell you in a matter of seconds. If you help us, I will give you the shortcut to your triumph, and save you a ton of hassle. You’d be sparing your ship from a lot of damage and even saving the lives of a few of your crew.”

Auburn Sally and Admiral Jacobson whispered between themselves again. They both knew they would have to face Smoky-Sails Sam eventually; there was no way of getting around it. If Conner could supply them with information on how to do it efficiently, they would have to consider his offer seriously.

They turned to the twins and presented a counteroffer.

“We’ll help you if you help us defeat Smoky-Sails Sam first,” Auburn Sally said.

Conner was about to rip his hair out. He silently vowed never to write another smart character into one of his stories ever again.

“Deal,” he said through a clenched jaw.

Conner and Auburn Sally shook hands over the table. Alex wasn’t convinced the captain and the admiral were being truthful and pulled her brother aside one final time.

“How do you know they’re being honest?” she whispered.

“Because I wrote them to be just as trustworthy as they are calculating,” he said. “And I’ll remind them about that shipwreck in the sequel!”

“Let’s discuss the details of our victory over dinner,” Auburn Sally said. “I’m famished. Negotiating always gives me an appetite.”

It had been hours since their last meal, so the twins were glad to hear it. The captain rang a bell and a few moments later, Fish-Lips Lucy entered the chambers pushing a cart with several covered serving trays. The quarters filled with a delectable aroma and the twins began salivating and their stomachs growled.

“Conner, what did you write for dinner?” Alex asked.

“Tomato soup, mashed potatoes, and rosary chicken,” Conner said, and licked his lips.

“Rosary chicken?” she asked. “Did you mean rotisserie chicken?”

“Oh no,” he said fearfully.

Fish-Lips Lucy uncovered the largest serving tray, and rather than a delicious roasted chicken, she revealed a live chicken wearing a Catholic rosary. The chicken panicked and fluttered amok around the chambers, squawking loudly and shedding feathers wherever she went.

Auburn Sally gave Fish-Lips Lucy a dirty look. “The chicken seems a little undercooked,” she said.

“Sorry, Captain,” Fish-Lips Lucy said. “I knew I was forgetting something.”

Suddenly, Siren Sue burst into the chambers, causing everyone to jump and forget all about the chicken. Her eyes were large and she was out of breath, like she had come in a hurry.

“Forgive my intrusion, Captain!” Siren Sue huffed. “I saw smoke rising on the horizon behind the ship! I inspected it and saw a fleet of ships coming this way! Smoky-Sails Sam is following us!”

The captain, the admiral, and the twins stood up so fast, they knocked silverware and plates off the table. Auburn Sally darted to the large windows in the back of her chambers and looked through a telescope beside her desk.

“It’s Smoky-Sails Sam, all right,” the captain said, and then jerked her head toward Conner. “I thought you said we had until morning.”

He racked his brain trying to figure out why they were so early. “It’s because I rushed the battle!” he said. “There was smoke in the sky earlier than there should have been! You and the admiral were supposed to exchange a lot more witty banter before the first cannon fired! I accidentally gave Smoky-Sails Sam a head start!”

Auburn Sally put on her hat and coat and immediately went into damage-control mode. “Lucy and Sue, tell the women to drop the sails at once,” she ordered. “I want every candle and lantern on this ship extinguished—we’ll be harder to follow in darkness. Also, free the sailors from the cells. If they want to survive the night, they’ll need to join our crew.”

The pirates nodded and ran out of the chambers to inform the others. Auburn Sally hurried out on deck and the twins and Jacobson followed. She wrapped her hands around the Dolly Llama’s wheel and looked to Conner.

“Well?” she asked. “What do we need to do to defeat Smoky-Sails Sam?”

“It’s not a what, it’s a where,” he said. “We need to head west immediately, sail through the Parakeet Islands, and pass the Isle of Skulls.”

The captain didn’t waste a moment asking questions. She spun the wheel so hard to her right, it almost broke off.

“Conner, where are you taking us?” Alex asked.

“Starboardia,” he said.