Normally, being around a beautiful woman in a swimsuit put Wes in a great mood. But he didn’t want to notice Laney, so he kept his eyes off her for most of the afternoon. And that resulted in what seemed like brooding. Which fed Amy’s brooding.
Laney tried to engage them in a game of Marco Polo, but Amy refused to play. Then she strung up a volleyball net in the pool, but Amy wasn’t interested. Quickly, she took it back down.
When the child got out of the pool and dried off, Laney swam over to Wes as he sat on the edge of the pool, making every effort to focus on something other than the woman who attracted him more than he dared admit.
“You’re not trying very hard,” Laney accused in a whisper.
She had no idea how hard he was trying, he thought. “Laney, I’m not sure what you want me to do.”
“Pretend to have fun,” she said. “Pretend you like me, at least a little. Play, splash around, flirt, for heaven’s sake. Just do something! Amy’s not ever going to relax as long as all this tension is between us.”
He finally allowed himself to look at her. It wasn’t that her swimsuit was inappropriate. It actually bordered on prudish. But there was something about her today … “Flirt?” he asked. “You’re crazy.”
“Why? I’m just asking you to be playful, like you were at the playground with her. Laugh a little. Pick her up and throw her around. Dunk me. Help me get something going here.”
Sighing as if it took every bit of effort he had, he slid into the water and forced a smile on his face. Halfheartedly he splashed her.
Halfheartedly, she splashed him back.
He glanced at Amy and saw that they had her rapt attention. He glanced back at Laney.
Wes didn’t know what came over him, but suddenly he felt injected with a mischievousness that had to be played out. He turned away from Laney, dove underwater, and swam away from her. Then doing a quick U-turn, he headed back.
She had turned away and was heading for the ladder.
Wes rammed her legs from behind, flipping her up. She screamed and went under and came up sputtering, determined to get even.
She grabbed his head, pushed him under, but he caught hold of a foot and dragged her across the pool. “Bull-headed woman. Thinks she can push me under!” He lifted her and threw her several feet in front of him as she screamed and struggled.
Amy was at the side, smiling grudgingly.
Laney got her bearings and swam toward him, grinning, intent on payback. “This is war, Grayson.”
“Oh, yeah?” he asked, diving under and grabbing her feet again before she could reach him. She was laughing when he came up, and he shouted, “What was that you said it was? War?”
“Do me, Daddy!” Amy shouted.
Wes swam to the ladder and quickly got out. “Do you?” he asked Amy. “Is that what you said?”
She screamed with glee as he picked her up and tossed her in, then dove in behind her. When she came up, he laughed wickedly. “I can take both of you women.”
“Let’s get him, Amy!” Laney shouted.
Together, they swam toward him, and Wes allowed them each to grab a foot and flip him over.
When he came up, they were both rolling in laughter. It was a small step, seeing them laugh together, he thought. A step he had given to Laney though his heart had advised him not to.
He didn’t know whether it had been the right thing or not, but he did know that it was good to see his little girl laughing and playing again. Acting indignant, he went after them both and shoved their heads underwater.
The mock war in the pool loosened Amy up considerably, giving Laney hope. When they were all exhausted from the fierce water wrestling, they changed clothes and ordered a pizza. But Amy was asleep on the couch with her head in her father’s lap before the pizza even arrived.
“She must have been tired,” Laney said, smiling as she gazed down at the sleeping child. “Do you want me to get her a blanket?”
“No, I think she’s warm enough,” he said softly. He looked up at Laney. Her hair was still damp and stringing around her shoulders, and she didn’t have an ounce of makeup on. But she was still beautiful. It was something about her he almost dreaded, for it made it more difficult to remember reality. He wished she wasn’t Amy’s mother. If she had just been a beautiful woman he had met somewhere, if he could have asked her out to dinner, spent time with her, gotten to know her, things would be so much different.
She got down on her knees in front of them and stroked Amy’s hair back from her face, gazing at her with a tenderness that he’d seen so often in Patrice’s eyes. She did love Amy; he had no doubt about that.
So why did he resist her so? he asked himself. Wasn’t the fact that she was a built-in part of their lives more of a reason for him to get to know her?
No, he told himself. It was a reason to stay away, to keep his feelings harnessed, to continue holding his contempt for her like a shield over his chest. She was the biggest threat in his life.
She got back to her feet and sat down on the couch next to him. “I really appreciate what you did today,” she said. “It was a dream come true. Maybe tomorrow when I pick her up from school, she won’t shut me out.”
He had forgotten about tomorrow. “She was OK today because I was here, Laney. But tomorrow, it’ll just be you and her again. Maybe it’s too soon.”
“I have to try,” Laney said. “But what if I cook you supper? She could help, and knowing that you’re coming, she might relax more.”
He looked at her, the tension on his face deepening his tired lines. “I can cook her supper. You didn’t say anything about that when you asked to keep her after school.”
Her face fell at the tone in his voice. “Well, no, but she has to eat. So do you. And I just thought—”
“She should probably eat at home,” he said.
She compressed her lips and looked down at the sleeping child. For a moment, there was silence between them, and finally she asked, “What if I cook you a casserole or something and you can take it home?”
He looked up at her. What was she trying to do? Win his heart through his stomach? Or did she harbor some fantasy of being responsible for both of them, as if he were as much her family as Amy was?
But just as suddenly as he’d entertained those thoughts, he realized he could be wrong. She had no family. And as far as he could tell, no friends. Not here, anyway. Maybe she was just desperately lonely.
Wes understood loneliness.
Sighing, he finally said, “Look, if you really want to cook, I guess there’s no harm. I’ll come over after work and eat with you, but then I’m taking Amy home.”
“Fine,” Laney said, her eyes brightening again. “I’ll see that she gets all her homework done, so you don’t have to worry about it tomorrow night. And I’ll take her to the park, so she can play with her friends.”
He nodded. She was trying so hard that it was growing more and more difficult to see her as a negative in Amy’s life … or his, either, for that matter. But he had to, he thought. He couldn’t let himself see her as anything else.
“I think she’s out for the night,” he said. “I’d better take her home.”
Laney’s eyes betrayed her disappointment, but she got up and began gathering the clothes Amy had changed from after church, the little stockings and the Sunday shoes. Wes lifted her and let her head rest on his shoulder.
Laney followed him out to the truck and fastened the child’s seat belt around her hips, then helped her to lie down in her father’s lap as he cranked the engine.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said quietly.
“Yeah.” He knew he should thank her for the afternoon, but something stopped him. She closed the door and stepped back, and he pulled out of the driveway.
When he glanced in his rearview mirror, she was still standing in the yard, watching with a poignant expression as they drove out of sight.
Wes had just finished the bid for the buildings at the new amusement park going up across town and was gathering his things to go pick Amy up at Laney’s when Sherry burst into his office, waving a letter in her hand. “It’s happened! Oh, Wes, this is from the bank!”
He snatched the letter out of her hand and scanned the contents. The bank was foreclosing on his house, and he had two weeks to get out.
For a moment, he just stared at it, too numb to react. “This can’t be happening. They’re not taking my house.”
“Read on! They’re also taking this building, the computer, all the equipment, everything anybody owes you …”
He flung the letter down and kicked his desk. “I’m finished with the bid for the amusement park! If we get this job, I can pay off the debts, and I’ve got a great chance. I’ve known Andi Sherman for years, and she’ll be the one to decide. I’ve got to hold them off!”
“But, Wes, it could be weeks before they decide who gets the contract. You haven’t got time!”
He grabbed the telephone and dialed the number for his lawyer. “This is Wes Grayson. I need to speak to Bert Hampton. It’s urgent.”
“I’m sorry,” his secretary said. “He’s left for the day.”
Wes checked his watch. He was supposed to be at Laney’s already. He’d promised Amy this morning when he’d explained why she had to go back today.
“Is he at home?”
“I think so.”
Without thanking her, Wes hung up, then searched his Rolodex for the man’s home number. Finally he found it, dialed, and waited.
“Hello?”
“Bert, this is Wes Grayson. You’ve got to help me, man.”
“What’s going on?”
“They’re giving me two weeks to get out of my house. They’re taking everything.”
“All right, Wes. Meet me at my office in fifteen minutes. I’ll head back over.”
Wes hung up and grabbed the letter off the floor. Too preoccupied to say good-bye to his sister, he hurried out the door.
Where’s my daddy?” Amy asked, sitting at the front window of the house, where she had been for the past hour. “He said he’d be here at five-thirty.”
“He’s just a little late,” Laney said. “He’ll be here. Why don’t we go ahead and eat, and then we can warm up a plate for him when he gets here?”
“No,” Amy said. “I’m not hungry.”
From the window, the child could see the end of the street and every car that turned into the neighborhood. She watched and waited, tense and expectant.
“Why don’t I get us some construction paper or something and we can make something while we wait? Would you like that?”
“No.”
Laney sat down next to her, trying to hide her disappointment. The afternoon hadn’t gone as well as she’d hoped, but it had been tolerable. Though Amy had ignored her most of the time, she had managed to have fun at the park, and she had grudgingly allowed Laney to help her with her homework. She hadn’t been interested in helping her cook but had sat quietly on the couch watching The Little Mermaid as Laney worked in the kitchen.
Now she could see the distress rising in the little girl’s face as she waited for her father. Laney had tried to call his office, but there had been no answer. She was sure he’d be here soon, and then she hoped the child would relax again, like she had in the pool yesterday. If she could just get Amy away from this window.
“Amy, I haven’t put the icing on the cake I made for dessert yet. Do you want to do it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“Honey, your daddy must have had something come up. He knows you’re fine here with me, so he isn’t worried. He’ll come when he can.”
A big tear dropped onto Amy’s cheek.
Laney caught her breath and knelt in front of her. “Honey, what’s the matter?”
Her bottom lip puckered out, and her face began to redden.
Laney pushed back the child’s hair and wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Please, Amy. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“He’s not coming, is he?” Amy asked in a squeak. “He’s leaving me here with you. He was just tricking me when he said he would come.”
“Oh, honey, no” Laney insisted. “He meant it. He’ll be here. I promise you. Daddy would never say he was coming to get you if he didn’t mean it.”
“Yes, he would!” Amy cried. “Mommy did.”
Laney’s heart shattered, and she reached out for the child, but Amy swirled off her chair and backed away. “Sweetheart, Mommy didn’t lie to you.”
“Yes, she did! She went to the hospital, and she promised me she was coming back home! But she never did! She tricked me, just like Daddy!”
Laney covered her mouth with her hand. “Amy, Mommy was real sick. She wanted to come home more than anything in the whole world. But she couldn’t. She didn’t break her promise to you. She just never got the chance to keep it.”
She reached for Amy again, but the child recoiled. “Honey, listen to me—”
It was then that she heard the muffled sound of an engine pulling into the driveway, and she looked through the window. “There he is!” she shouted victoriously. “See? Your daddy came. Just like he said he would!”
Amy caught her breath and bolted for the front door. She was halfway across the yard before Wes was out of the truck.
He picked her up and she clung to him, weeping with her face buried in his neck. He fixed angry, accusing eyes on Laney as she approached him. “What did you do to her?”
Laney sucked in a breath. “Nothing! She got upset because you were late! She thought you weren’t coming!”
He whispered into Amy’s ear, trying to soothe her, then glanced back at Laney. “Look, I’m just gonna take her home. Neither one of us is up to doing dinner tonight. I’ll pick her up a hamburger on the way home.”
Laney nodded. “All right.” She watched as he pried Amy off him and made her climb into the truck. “Wes, tomorrow will you explain to her that you might be late, but you’re still coming?”
He cranked the engine before he answered her. “I can’t believe you’d bring her out this upset and expect to do it all again tomorrow.”
Laney was getting angry. “Wes, she wasn’t upset until you were late! And I would think you’d at least offer some kind of explanation! To her, if not to me.”
“Something came up,” he said between tight lips. “I got here as soon as I could.”
“Fine,” she said, backing off.
He put the truck in reverse and gave her one last look as if he had something to say but couldn’t say it. Finally, he backed out without a word.
Laney headed back into the house as fast as she could before he could see her crying again.
Not long after they left, the phone rang. Laney cleared her throat and wiped the tears off her face before she picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“Uh … this is Sherry Grayson … Wes’s sister? Is he still there, by any chance?”
“No,” she said, trying not to sound so forlorn. “He left about fifteen minutes ago.”
“Oh. I was hoping to catch him to warn him before he went home.”
Laney frowned. “Warn him of what?”
“Of the sign the bank posted on his house. I went by there to drop off some groceries I picked up for him, and I saw it. He isn’t even out yet, and they’ve already set a date for the auction.”
“What auction?”
“His house. Didn’t he tell you?”
Laney got to her feet. “Are they foreclosing on his house?”
“Uh … well … look,” she said, obviously rattled. “I’ll just call him when he gets home. I’m sorry to bother you.”
Laney hung up and stared disbelievingly down at the phone. Was that why Wes was late? Had he just learned that the bank was foreclosing on his house?
Slowly she sank down onto the couch, wishing she hadn’t yelled back when he’d yelled at her. But he hadn’t said a thing about foreclosure. Was he really being forced to leave his and Amy’s home?
Darkness began to descend, but Laney didn’t bother to turn on any lights. Instead, she sat alone on her couch, staring into the dusk and trying to imagine what it would do to Amy to lose her home now, on top of all the stress that Laney had brought into the little girl’s life.
She thought of Amy’s tears today, how she’d been certain that Wes wasn’t coming back, that he’d “tricked” her, that he, like her mother, was fading out of her life.
So much instability, she thought. So much uncertainty.
This was even worse than when Laney was a child. At least her father hadn’t had money problems. She had been able to stay in the home she’d shared with her mother. She wondered how her life would have been if there had been another mother figure somewhere, someone who wanted to love her and take care of her. Would she have welcomed it or shunned it? Would it have helped her through her grief or heightened it?
She opened the back door and walked back to the pool. Standing on the edge, she thought of Sunday afternoon when they’d played together like a family in the water, pretending that no one was missing, no one was added, nothing was broken, nothing was lost … She had clung to that fantasy ever since, not for herself as much as for Amy. She couldn’t help remembering how Amy had acted the first day they met, before she saw Laney as a threat. She had needed a woman in her life—in her home. And she had chosen to warm up to Laney.
It could be that way again, if some of the stress was relieved and some of the uncertainty were taken away. She could win Amy over if she could only get past some of the obstacles in her way.
It didn’t matter what it cost Laney. Somehow she had to find a way to bring stability instead of uncertainty back into Amy’s life.
A vague thought dawned on her, a thought that would offer Wes some relief and perhaps serve as a peace offering between them. She could loan him the money he needed to keep his house.
But that would only solve one of the problems, she thought. Not all of them. It would relieve his immediate stress, but it still wouldn’t bring Amy family security or give rest to her frightened mind. And it wouldn’t help her to accept Laney.
Laney wanted to be a mother, not just a creditor.
But there might be another way.
As a better idea took root in her heart, she began to see the light of hope. Maybe it would work. Maybe it could solve everything.
Quickly, she grabbed her purse and dug for her car keys. She had to see Wes right away.
Sherry showed up around eight with all the sympathy a sister could give, and knowing that Wes was too preoccupied and upset to function normally, she supervised Amy’s bath and put her to bed. After she had read Amy a story that put her to sleep, she looked for Wes.
He wasn’t in the den, so she went to the doorway of his bedroom and peeked in. Wes sat on the side of his bed, staring down at the portrait of Patrice in his hand.
“Want to talk?” Sherry asked him.
He twisted his mouth and shrugged. “I was just thinking what a failure I am. She trusted me to hold things together. I’ve lost partial custody of Amy, and I can’t even hold onto my house. I can’t even make a living.”
“Wes, none of this is your fault. You didn’t ask Laney Fields to come into your life. And nobody can blame you for all of the bills from Patrice’s cancer. What were you gonna do? Turn down medical treatment for her because you couldn’t afford it?”
“It’s gonna kill Amy, leaving this house.”
“You can stay with me until you get an apartment or find something to rent.”
“First I have to find a job.”
“But maybe you’ll get the contract for the park. Maybe it’ll happen in time …”
Wes shook his head. “No. They won’t make a decision on that for three weeks. By then, the bank will have everything I own. Let’s face it. I’m finished.”
“You can’t get an extension?”
“No,” he said. “This was an extension. I’ve been putting them off for months.”
She sat down on the bed next to him and hugged him. “I’m so sorry, Wes. I wish there was something I could do.”
“You did a lot. Working for me all these weeks with no pay …” He swallowed and looked down at the picture again. “I guess I’ll tell Amy tomorrow. We’ll have to start moving out this weekend. Maybe I could hire on with one of my subcontractors and get him to advance me a deposit on an apartment. I just hate to do it all so fast. It doesn’t give her any time to get used to it …”
He broke into tears and covered his face, and Sherry didn’t know what to do for him.
The doorbell rang, and he drew in a deep breath.
“Who could that be?” Sherry asked.
“Maybe the bank, coming to take all the furniture,” he said. “Bloodsuckers …”
Sherry got up. “I’ll get it.”
He went to the bathroom and leaned over the sink to splash water on his face. Blotting his face with a towel, he looked into the mirror. He had aged ten years in the last one, he thought. He had put up a terrible fight to stay above water, but he had lost.
He could accept all of it stoically, he thought, if it weren’t for Amy.
Sherry came back into the bedroom. “Wes, it’s Laney Fields.”
He came out, frowning. “What does she want?”
“Well, uh … she sort of heard about what was going on …” “How?”
Sherry winced. “I called you over there earlier, and I sort of … mentioned it before I realized she didn’t already know.” “Oh, great,” he said. “She’s probably come to chastise me for not providing for my child. Thanks a lot, Sherry.”
“I’m sorry, Wes. Look, I’m going to go home now, but if you need anything, just call. Any time of the night. I mean it, OK?” She shot him a bolstering look, then turned and headed for the back door.
He watched her go, his eyes dull. He didn’t want to see Laney. Not now. But as always, she hadn’t given him a choice in the matter.
Laney was waiting in the den. The moment she saw him, she asked, “Wes, why didn’t you tell me about the foreclosure?”
He threw up his hands. “I’m sorry. I must have missed the part where the judge told me I had to keep you informed about every event in my life.”
“Not every one,” she said, “but where you’ll live, at least. Have you told Amy?”
“No, I haven’t told Amy,” he said impatiently. “I’m still trying to sort it all out myself.”
“Well … when do you have to move?”
“Two weeks,” he said. “We’ll probably go ahead and get out this weekend.”
“Poor Amy,” she said, sinking down on the couch. “It’s gonna be such a shock to her.”
“She’s getting used to shocks,” he said. “You never cared about them before.”
“She’s getting used to me,” Laney said. “When you were late tonight, it was just a setback. She got scared. Wes, did she tell you what she was afraid of?”
He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair, leaving it tousled. “No. We didn’t really talk about it much.”
“She said that she thought you’d tricked her like her mommy did.”
“What?”
“Wes, she’s terrified of losing you. She said that her mother promised to come back, and she didn’t, and now she’s sure that one day you won’t either.”
“She told you that?”
“Yes. She was very upset. It was … one of the worst things I’ve ever seen. It reminded me of my childhood so much …” Her lips began to quiver. She was trembling, trying to go on. Finally she looked up. “Amy needs you,” she said. “She’s afraid, I think, that if she gets comfortable with me, she’ll lose you altogether. I think in her seven-year-old head she may even think we’re trying to prepare her for a time when you’ll drop out of her life.”
Knocking a newspaper off of a chair, Wes wilted into it. His eyes grew luminous. Maybe she did understand after all. “No argument so far.”
“On the other hand, the way she warmed up to me before she knew I was her mother told me that she very much wanted a woman in her life. She’s hungry for a mother, not because of anything that you can’t provide, but because of what a woman can.”
Wes frowned. She was leading up to something. He could feel it.
“And I’ve been thinking about that an awful lot lately. And then tonight when I heard about the foreclosure … I couldn’t help thinking what could solve everything.”
“What?” he asked, dumbfounded that she would be presumptuous enough to think that anything regarding her would solve his problems.
“Separately,” she went on cautiously, “we can’t change things for the better. Only for the worse. But together—”
“What are you saying?” Not what he thought. Surely not that.
Laney took a deep breath and pushed back a strand of hair. “I’m saying that—I mean, I’m suggesting that in order to give her what she needs and maybe make things easier on ourselves, that maybe we should …” Her voice trailed off, too weak to go on.
“Should what?” he asked impatiently.
“Should … get married. For Amy’s sake.”
A breathless moment followed as Wes erupted out of his chair. “Are you nuts? You’ve got to be out of your mind! For Amy’s sake?” he asked, astounded. “Have you honestly convinced yourself that you’d be doing this for Amy’s sake?”
“Why else would I do it?”
“For your sake, maybe? Instant child, instant husband, instant home?” The astonishment drained from his voice, and something almost violent replaced it. “Since there happens to be an opening in this family, maybe you thought you could slip right in and fill it?”
She wouldn’t let herself get angry. Her voice was a carefully controlled monotone. “No. I’ve thought this out. It would benefit all of us. Even you. Especially where money is concerned.”
“I don’t have any money.”
“Obviously. But I do.” She steadied her breathing. It was time to lay all her cards on the table. Everything was at stake. “I have lots of it, and you need it. You can hold onto your pride and lose your home, or you can do what I’m suggesting and save everything.”
His mouth opened with disbelief. “So let me get this straight. If I marry you, you’ll pay me off?”
“No,” she said. “I’m saying that if you marry me, everything I have will be yours. My father’s inheritance, my house, everything. None of it means anything to me. Amy’s the only thing that matters.”
“My daughter and I are not for sale!”
“I’m not trying to buy you,” she retorted. “It’s Amy’s money too. She was his granddaughter. She deserves it. He disrupted our lives, ruined mine, and he owed me, just like he owed her. If it’s Amy’s money, why should it bother you to let her help pay her mother’s hospital bills and help her father’s company get back on its feet?”
“Because I don’t like what goes with it,” he said.
She steeled herself against yet another blatant rejection. “I’ll help you.” Her voice shook with the words. Good heavens, was she pleading now? She tried to mask the desperation in her voice. “I’ll be there all day, taking care of Amy in her own home, keeping the house clean, and cooking meals. You won’t feel so divided. And when you get home, you can relax. I can be a good mother and a good wife. Amy will have two parents at the same time, and she’ll be happier. You must see that.”
When Wes turned back to her, tears were glistening in his eyes. “I don’t want to get married again,” he whispered. “Never.”
“Not even for Amy?”
He glared at her for a hateful moment, as if she had trumped his ace. “You want to be my wife?” he asked sarcastically. “When you don’t even have a clue what a wife is?” “I can learn,” she whispered. “And I’ll stay out of your way. If we got married, I wouldn’t try to take Patrice’s place.
I wouldn’t expect love or even respect. I wouldn’t expect anything. I just want to be with my baby. We could try to be friends, try to like each other.”
He turned his back to her and searched his mind and heart for some order, some answers. What would it be like to have her in his home every day? How would it feel, sharing Amy with her, sharing the responsibility, the love? How would it feel to share his and Patrice’s home with a woman he hardly knew?
He couldn’t. He shook his head, unable to consider it anymore. “It’s blackmail,” he said. “If you really cared about what losing everything is going to do to Amy, then you’d offer me a loan, not marriage!”
“I’ve thought of that,” she said. “But I don’t want to loan it to you, Wes. I want to give it to you. I want to be a mother, not a banker. Money alone isn’t what Amy needs. If you marry me, you’ll have access to my whole inheritance. I wouldn’t hold any of it back.”
Wes turned back to her. She was still begging, still willing to sacrifice. “It can’t work, Laney,” he said too loudly. “Marriage is a sacred institution to me. God didn’t create it to be like that. Besides, it would make Amy’s home life as strained as it is when she’s with you.” Not to mention his own life, he thought.
“Just for a while,” she pleaded. “If she thought it was a real marriage, that we really loved each other the way a husband and wife do, she might accept it. She wouldn’t see me as the enemy trying to invade her life. The stress is going to get a lot worse if you lose your house, Wes.”
He set his hands on his hips and stared at her. Did she think he hadn’t considered that?
“Even if you say no, you aren’t going to get rid of me,” she promised him. “I’m here to stay. I’m trying to find alternatives, but the court gave me joint custody, and I intend to use it.”
“You mean you’d put her through what she went through today? Sobbing and remembering her mother, thinking her father isn’t going to come home? You’d do that again?”
“I wouldn’t want to!” Laney said. “But I’m convinced she needs me. And I need her.”
Wes ruffled his hair and looked at the ceiling, a despondent, futile look coloring his twisted features. “I can’t do it. I can’t make a mockery of marriage after Patrice.”
She felt herself losing the battle and knew this loss might cost her the war. “Please, Wes,” she said, touching his back. “Don’t think of it that way. I wouldn’t push you or expect anything. It wouldn’t be like a real marriage, except to Amy. You and I would know differently. And when she grows up—”
“What about you?” he asked suddenly, turning back to her. “You’d be destroying any chance you have for finding someone else. A real husband. You’d be locking yourself into a false life and giving up a real one.”
“And so would you.”
His shrug was hopeless. “I’ve already had my life.”
His words were dispassionate and final. Had he really laid his heart to rest with Patrice? “Then give me mine,” she entreated. “It’s an agreement, that’s all. It can be broken.”
“Just like that?”
“If it isn’t working, I’ll be the first to admit it.”
When he turned away again she slid her hand up his back and closed it over his shoulder. “Please, Wes,” she whispered in a strained voice. “You’ve never thanked me for giving you my daughter. She was the only thing in life that ever mattered to me. Please give me the chance to get her back. I promise I’ll never take her from you.”
Somehow her last words had more impact than all the others she’d prepared tonight. I’ll never take her from you. It was a way to ensure that. He could never hope to see her give up and walk away. They had come much too far.
And Amy did need a mother. He closed his eyes and recalled the helpless feeling he’d had earlier when he hadn’t known what to say to her, when he hadn’t been able to comfort her. She had needed Patrice, but she had Laney instead. “I’m a Christian,” he whispered. “I believe in living my life a certain way. Church is an important part of our life, and so is our faith. I won’t sacrifice my beliefs for you.”
“I’m not asking you to,” she said. “I … I’ve never been a churchgoer, but I’ll start. And I’ve never really believed in God, but I’ll try. Please, just give me a chance, Wes. I promise I’ll never compromise the things you’ve taught Amy. And I’ll do my best to live by them.”
“Living by them means that you don’t enter into a temporary, frivolous marriage for the sake of convenience. If I get married again, it’ll be for life. For better or for worse.”
“Fine,” she said. “No back door. I can accept that.”
“I’m not offering it.”
She sighed and struggled to find the right words. “Be reasonable, Wes. You’re a businessman. This is a business arrangement. You wouldn’t hesitate to hire a live-in nanny. Think of me as that. It’s what’s best for Amy.”
“You just don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
“Marriage isn’t a business arrangement or a game.”
“And bankruptcy and joint custody are no picnic. I want more for my daughter. And I know you do, too.”
He stared at her for a moment, the agony in his eyes still resisting defeat.
“It’s blackmail,” he said again, raking a hand through his hair.
“That’s not fair,” she said. “I’m not threatening you into this.”
“Aren’t you?”
She looked at the floor and shook her head dolefully. “Just think about it, Wes. With an open mind. Think about what’s best for her. It’s the only answer that makes any sense.”
He fixed his eyes on her then, staring at her as moments ticked by. She was sure he was going to say yes. Sure that he knew it was the only way.
“I don’t have to think about it,” he said finally. “The answer is no.”