Chapter 9: Escape.
A big, hairy hand caught him and hauled him in. Grundy tried to fight, thinking it was the Hag--then realized it was Snortimer. "You caught me!" he exclaimed, dazed.
"Well, I was coming up to get you anyway," the Bed Monster replied gruffly in Monster-tongue.
Grundy shut up. He was weak with relief. He had thought he was going to die, but was glad he had not. After all, he had not yet completed his Quest! It would have been very embarrassing.
Snortimer carried him down to the base, where Rapunzel waited in the pale moonlight. Apparently this emergency had caused the Bed Monster to become less shy of that light. Rapunzel was human-sized, and sitting in the Hag's rowboat, for the tide had come in and flooded the island. Grundy wondered whether she had remained that size while Snortimer carried her down the wall; she must have been very heavy. But if she had turned small, then what about her hair? That had remained full-sized. Well, it wasn't worth worrying about; they were all safely down, and they had the boat.
But Rapunzel's hair was tied to the chair at the top of the Ivory Tower; she could not travel from this spot! Unless--
The damsel drew out a pair of scissors. "Oh, I really hate to do this!" she exclaimed. "But--"
But what choice was there? They had to get moving before the dawn!
She handed the scissors to Snortimer. "You do it," she told the monster.
Snortimer took the scissors in one big hairy hand, and grabbed her hair with the other. Holding it firmly clear of her head, he hacked away with the scissors. In a moment Rapunzel's head of hair was short and wild, while the remainder of her tresses swung from the Tower. It was done.
Tentatively, she touched her head. "How do I look?"
"Awful!" Grundy said without thinking.
Rapunzel burst into tears. "My lovely hair!" she cried in anguish.
Snortimer, mortified, scuttled under the seat.
Grundy hated to see such a lovely creature in distress. Her hair was nightmarish, but Rapunzel herself remained beautiful. He had to reassure her.
"I meant--" he started.
"I know what you meant!" she wailed.
"But you were so brave to cut it off!" he said.
She brightened slightly. "Was I really?"
"So you think you've gotten away, do you?" the Hag called from above. "Well you haven't! I'm coming down."
"We've got to get away!" Grundy exclaimed. "Rapunzel, you're big enough to use the oars--"
"Don't you dare!" the Hag called. "You just sit right there, girl, until I come for you."
Rapunzel sat frozen.
"We have to move!" Grundy cried. "Take the oars and row!"
"I can't," Rapunzel said tearfully. "Mother Sweetness told me not to."
"But she's not your friend!" Grundy reminded her. "She only wants to use your body!"
"I know. But still, I can't directly oppose her. She's all I have known."
Grundy realized that he was up against a truly nice person. Rapunzel, even though she now knew the facts, simply could not bring herself to act in a contrary manner. She couldn't betray the person she had known all her life.
Meanwhile, the Hag was climbing out the window. Obviously she intended to climb down the hair, land in the boat, toss Grundy and Snortimer overboard, and carry the damsel back up to the chamber atop the Ivory Tower. With Rapunzel captive again, the Hag would have all the time she needed to persuade her that it was all a bad dream, and in the end she would have the body.
He had to do something! But what? It simply was not possible for him to man the big oars himself.
"Snortimer, can you--?"
But then the moonlight intensified, and the little monster scrambled farther under the seat. He was no help--not while the light was too strong.
Grundy looked about. Above the heaving sea a mean little cloud hovered. That was the one that had moved out of the way, allowing the moonlight to shine down on them unimpeded.
Was that coincidence? That cloud had a familiar look. Could it be Cumulo Fracto Nimbus? This was just the kind of thing that cloud would do, when it saw its opportunity!
But maybe Grundy could turn that malice to his advantage! He knew that Fracto had a bad temper and a lot of hot air. If he could make the cloud blow its cool--
"Hey, Fracto!" he called. "What are you doing so far from home? You'd better get back to land, where it's safe!"
The cloud huffed visibly. That was Fracto, all right!
Meanwhile, the Hag was starting down the hair. This was going to be close.
"Fracto, you're nothing but a windbag!" Grundy cried. "You used up all your power back in the Gap! You couldn't work up a decent storm now to save your foggy skin!"
The cloud puffed up ominously. An experimental bit of lightning flashed, and there was a rumble of thunder.
"Don't pull your fakery with me, foggybottom!" Grundy cried. "I know you're just a cottonpuff! All you can do is huff and puff and rattle around! You don't have enough power to blow at that Ivory Tower, even!"
The cloud huffed and puffed and blew at the Tower.
"Hey!" the Hag cried. "Watch what you're doing, you soggy mass of nothing!"
Affronted, Fracto blew harder. The Hag swung about on the hair, banging into the Tower. She was only a quarter of the way down, and couldn't move well while the wind was blowing.
"Leave my ugly friend alone!" Grundy yelled with sudden inspiration.
Naturally Fracto now concentrated on the Hag. The cloud moved nearer the Tower and began spitting rain at it.
"Get away from here, you vacuous piece of mist!" the Hag screamed, furious.
"Yeah, cauliflower-nimbus!" Grundy put in. "Do what she says!"
The cloud was really worked up, now. It had swelled to triple its prior size, and fairly glowed with contained lightning. It oriented more carefully on the Tower.
The Hag, perceiving this development, hastily scrambled back up the hair toward the safety of the chamber. She didn't want to get caught halfway down when that storm let loose.
Fracto, seeing her trying to escape, hastily sleeted on her. Tiny pellets of ice bounced off the Tower, but they weren't enough to make the hair slippery.
"See?" Grundy called nastily. "Your real name must be Cucumber-Fraction-Nimble!"
A jag of lightning fired out of the cloud to strike the Tower. But the Tower was impervious to influences from outside; it stood unaffected. The Hag clambered back into the chamber, then turned to lean out and shake her fist at the cloud. "I'll occupy a roc and flap you into oblivion!" she screeched.
The cloud had not only driven back the Hag, it had blotted out most of the moonlight. "Come on, Snortimer!" Grundy said.
Rapunzel clapped her hands. "That was very clever of you, Grundy!" she exclaimed.
Good--she had recovered from her stasis. Now if he could just get her safely away from the Tower before the Hag realized--
Snortimer grabbed the oars and began to row. But the boat was moored to the base of the Tower. "Untie it!" Grundy cried, for the knot was too massive for him to handle.
He had been speaking to Snortimer, but it was the damsel who did it. That was interesting--she answered to the voice of authority, wherever it might be.
They nudged out to sea. But now the storm was striking in earnest. Hailstones plopped into the water all around them. "Get under cover!" Grundy yelled, afraid the damsel would be struck.
Rapunzel changed to golem-size and ran under the seat. Snortimer shipped the oars and joined her. Grundy went there too, as the hailstones began scoring on the boat. The waves were getting so rough that it would have been useless to row anyway.
In fact, they were too rough. The boat rocked up and down, proceeding from apex to trough in horrendous fashion, and water began slopping inside. "Oh, we'll drown!" Rapunzel cried.
Grundy knew he had brought it upon them. He had used the storm to stop the Hag, but now it threatened to stop them too. "Maybe I can summon the Monster of the Sea," he said. "He's out here somewhere, and if we drift far enough from the Tower, he can pick us up." He climbed to the top of the seat.
"Oh, be careful!" the damsel cried.
"Got to be done," Grundy said grimly. He worked his way to the side.
"You're so brave!" Rapunzel said.
"Brave? I'm terrified!" he said. And he was. But he saw no other course.
He braced himself, stood up as tall as he could, and yelled: "Monster of the Sea! Monster of the Sea! Can you hear me?" There was no answer. He called again, and again, but either the noise of the storm was too great, or the Monster was too far away to hear, or both.
A larger wave washed over, knocking him down. One of Snortimer's hairy hands reached out and caught him before he tumbled to the bottom of the boat or, worse, overboard. He was getting to like hairy hands!
"What were you doing?" Rapunzel asked, frightened. "I thought you were going to call the Monster."
"I was calling the Monster!" Grundy snapped as he shook some of the water off his body.
"But you were honking! Were you blowing your nose?"
"That's Monster-talk."
"You mean you can talk their language?" she asked, amazed.
"Certainly. I'm the Golem of Communication. I can talk to any living thing."
"Oh, that's impressive!" she said. She was not being sarcastic, for there was not a sarcastic bone in her lovely body; she was really impressed.
Another wave smashed across the boat. "But he didn't answer," Grundy said gruffly. "And if we don't make contact with him soon--"
"Maybe if--" she began, hesitantly.
"Yes?" It was better to keep talking, so that the hopelessness of their situation would not be too apparent.
"If you can talk to anything--" Again she hesitated.
"I can, but--"
"Maybe if you asked a fish--"
Grundy knocked his head gently against the side of the boat. Of course! He could send a fish as a messenger to the Monster! "Good idea, Rapunzel!" he exclaimed, giving her a quick squeeze.
He scrambled back up to the seat and the edge, heedless of the waves, and yelled at the water: "Hey! Any good fish about?"
There was no answer. He realized that the fish, being underwater, couldn't hear him; he had to get into their medium. "Hey, Snort! Tie a line to my foot so I can dangle in the water!"
"No!" Rapunzel exclaimed, putting her fingers to her mouth in that maidenly way she had.
"Got to be done," Grundy said. "I have to talk to the fish in their medium."
Snortimer was good at handling cords and ropes, because of his several strong hands. In moments he had Grundy secured by the feet. "Pull me out after a moment, so I don't drown," Grundy told him, and jumped overboard.
The water caught him the moment he entered, hauling him back. He scraped along the outside of the boat before the slack was taken up. Then he called to the fish in fishtongue: "Hey, you poor fish! My name is Grundy. I need a messenger!"
Now a fish swam up. It was a big bass. "My name is Tard; I need a meal," it said, and opened its big mouth wide.
Grundy scrambled to get away, but could not; the line held him fast. He kicked at the fish's nose. Then Snortimer hauled on the cord, and Grundy was drawn up and out of the water, escaping.
"Did you talk to one?" Rapunzel asked anxiously.
"Not exactly," Grundy spluttered. "I was almost eaten by a big bass, Tard."
"I've heard they'll eat anything," the damsel said disapprovingly.
"Got to try again," Grundy said, and jumped back into the water.
"I need a messenger!" he called, alert for the bass.
A chunk of fish floated by. In a moment an aggressive, masculine fish arrived. "Did you see the rest of the cod I was eating?" it inquired.
Grundy decided not to aggravate this one. "The cod piece went that way," he said, pointing.
"Thanks, pal," the fish said, swimming after it. "I wouldn't want to lose that meat!"
Then Snortimer hauled him up again. "Not yet," Grundy reported.
On his third descent he spied a flying fish just getting ready to take off. "Hey, take a message to the Monster of the Sea," he called to it. "Tell him where we are!"
"Wilico, Roger," the fish replied, and accelerated out of the water.
"I think we've got it," Grundy gasped as Snortimer hauled him up again. "I told a flying fish; they're very fast."
They retreated under the seat to ride out the storm until the Monster came. A fair amount of water was now sloshing around in the bottom of the boat, making things uncomfortable, but they were hopeful that they would soon be rescued.
Then a monstrous green tentacle flung itself over the boat. Rapunzel screamed. "What's that?"
"That's the tentacle of a kraken weed," Grundy said with horror. Then, to the kraken: "What are you doing here?"
"A flying fish told me there was food here," the monster replied in kraken-talk.
Grundy's hope sank out of sight. "The fish told the wrong monster!" he cried.
Another tentacle came over the boat, holding it fast. A third one came, snaking down under the seat, looking for prey. Rapunzel screamed again. Damsels were very good at screaming in emergencies, even those raised in Ivory Towers.
Snortimer grabbed the tentacle in a big hairy hand and squeezed it. "Ouch!" the kraken cried, and threw in three more tentacles. Snortimer grabbed two more of them, but more came in, too many for him to overcome. Slowly they dragged him from under the seat. Rapunzel's screaming was continuous.
Then the kraken grunted and let go. Its tentacles twisted and thrashed about. In a moment it was gone.
"What happened?" the damsel asked, uncertain whether it was all right to cease screaming.
Grundy looked out. A huge shape loomed beside the boat. "Our Monster's arrived!" he exclaimed, relieved.
"When I saw the weed going somewhere so fast, I was suspicious," the Monster said. "I thought a damsel might be in distress."
"You were right!" Grundy exclaimed. Then he translated for Rapunzel.
"Oh, I'm so happy to be rescued!" she exclaimed. She changed to human size, leaned over, and patted the Monster's nearest flipper. The Monster blushed pink with pleasure.
Now the storm was abating. Light returned--but not moonlight. "Dawn!" Grundy cried, appalled. "And we don't have the bed!"
"Just tell me where to go," the Monster said, picking the boat up by a flipper and setting it on his back. "There are a few minutes yet before the sun comes up."
"Back to the golden grotto!" Grundy cried. The Monster moved out, churning up a violent wave. It was the fastest he had ever moved.
Fracto, in the sky, spied them. The cloud darkened, then reconsidered, catching on to their problem. It started to lighten, to let more of the light of day past. The sky lightened, and Snortimer whimpered and wedged as far under the seat as he could.
They zoomed up to the rocky golden shore. But here the water was relatively shallow; the Monster could not go all the way, since the tide remained low. Still the light brightened, as the cloud malevolently dissolved its vapors.
Grundy realized that there was no time for finesse. "Throw the boat!" Grundy cried. "We'll hang on!"
The Monster picked the boat up again with a flipper, then heaved. The boat flew through the air, and splashed violently in the shallow water just beneath the rock-formation where the bed was hidden. It was an awful jolt, but Grundy couldn't afford to worry about that.
"Climb out!" he told Snortimer. "The bed's close!"
But it was already too bright. Snortimer huddled under the bench, petrified, unable to move out.
Rapunzel had gone to golem-size for the throw. "Get as big as you can!" Grundy told her. "Stand in the water!"
She jumped into the water, becoming full human-sized.
"Now reach in and grab Snortimer," Grundy directed. "He's not that big; just haul him out and toss him into that cave!"
She did as directed. The Bed Monster, paralyzed by the brightness around them, offered no resistance. In a moment he landed in the cave.
"You're there!" Grundy cried at him. "Get under the bed!"
But Snortimer was too far gone. He just lay there beside the bed.
"Stuff him under there!" Grundy cried to Rapunzel. "Quickly!"
She obeyed. The Monster was finally back where he belonged. But was it in time?
Rapunzel lifted Grundy up to the cave and set him on the bed. Then she held his hand and joined him there, golem-size again. "Is he all right?" she asked worriedly.
Grundy spread his hands. "I don't know. He had a bad exposure. We'll just have to wait and see if he recovers."
"What's the situation?" the Monster of the Sea honked.
"He's under the bed--but hurt," Grundy reported. "We don't know how bad it is."
"Is the damsel all right?"
"She's all right," Grundy reassured him. "You liberated her."
"Then I must be going," the Monster of the Sea honked. "I can not long remain in this shallow water."
"Go, and welcome!" Grundy agreed. "You have done all that could have been asked." He had discovered, somewhere in the course of this Quest, that things tended to work better if he erred on the side of more credit for others rather than less. Insults had their place, of course, but so did compliments. It was an interesting discovery, whose ramifications he had yet to explore properly. "Take the boat with you, so the Hag can't use it; we've got her confined to the Ivory Tower."
The Monster drew on the trailing rope on the boat, and brought the craft to him. He set it on his back and pushed out to sea. "Good fortune, hero and damsel!" he honked in parting.
Grundy jumped. "What did he say?" Rapunzel asked, but Grundy was too embarrassed to tell her. Hero? Him? What a joke!