Chapter 16

 

Thrain's scent and taste lingered in my mind as I jumped under the shower to wash off the traces of a long day. My skin seemed to tingle where the hot water hit it. My whole being felt as though I was floating in the vast universe with nothing but him to anchor me. If it weren't for the cold air sending shivers up my spine to remind me of time and space as I stepped out of the shower, I would've continued to float in that dreamy state. I let out a delighted sigh and went about brushing my teeth with the visitor toothbrush, then put on a nightshirt and jumped under the covers. It wasn't like me to feel so at home in a strange place and yet, in this house among these people, I felt as though I had returned to a place where I belonged. That instant I knew I could never restore my old life. I could never go back to the old me. Sure, the music career would have to continue because it gave my life meaning and I had a mission to fulfill, but I knew the lost and scared Sofia from before was gone.

With the soft covers wrapped around me, I fell into a deep yet uneasy sleep and while the darkness I had grown to fear didn't return, I knew something was watching me, waiting for me to make a mistake. I wondered what that mistake was.

Morning had yet to break when I woke up with a jolt. The moon lay hidden behind a thick veil of dark clouds. The room had noticeable cooled down. I shivered and closed my eyes again, ready to get back to sleep. But there was a soft, indiscernible whisper, which must've been what woke me up in the first place. I slipped into my jeans and the sweater Clare had borrowed me, and pushed the curtains aside.

Gloomy shadows still covered the woods. I opened the window to let in the freezing night air and strained to listen to determine where the whisper came from. My lungs burned from the cold as I inhaled deeply, held the breath, then exhaled. Only then did I notice the small writing on the glass, the same word I saw at the hotel in Rio: HELP. Someone needed me.

Branches snapped below the window. Something caught my attention in the distance. I peered at what looked like a white curtain. It took me a while to realize it was the long hair of a girl, framing a pale face. My heart almost stopped beating and a whimper escaped my throat.

"Theo." The word choked me, brought me on the verge of tears. Leaving the window open, I stormed out of the room and down the stairs, through the kitchen into the back garden. She wasn't there, but I recognized the spot where she had been standing. Near the gnarled tree with its low-hanging branches that almost brushed the lush grass beneath.

"Theo," I whispered again, trying to be still so I wouldn't wake up the others. My naked feet sank into the damp grass as I picked up in speed, my eyes scanning the area frantically for a glimpse of that almost white hair that was so typical of my family. And then I saw her twenty feet away. She was staring at me, her eyes looking sad. She put a finger to her lips, as if hushing me to be quiet. In slow motion, she gestured a no, as though I shouldn't seek her, and then turned her back on me and took off again. Panic rose inside of me. I wanted to see her. She needed my help. I could feel it.

"Theo, wait!" My voice was raspy, already hoarse from the cold. I sprinted through the trees, determined to catch her, and only stopped when a crow flew over my head and perched down on a branch a few feet away from me. I leaned against a tree to catch my breath.

The clouds broke and the moon come through, casting an eerie light over the place and the big crow—the same one that turned into a dark entity and chased me. I felt my heart racing, my palms sweating as the bird cawed.

Think, my mind screamed. Think. I remembered the word HELP appearing out of nowhere. At that time, when I opened the window in Rio, I also spied the crow instead of my sister. My stomach protested. My ears began to ring at the mere thought, but what other explanation was there? The crow was warning me before something happened.

It was a trap.

I could see the mansion in the distance, its contours stretching menacingly into the night. The people in there were my friends, the crow wasn't. Or was it the other way round? So far I didn't have any proof that they were really on my side. Cass had yet to keep her word and grant me access to my sister. What if Gael indeed was trying to protect me from something? Maybe he was trying to protect me from the immortals in there.

The craw cawed. I took in the beautiful, black feathers and dark eyes. Something—like black fog—lifted off my mind, clearing my thoughts. What was wrong with me? That mansion was my safe fortress. I had to run back, but would I make it?

My muscles started to work hard as I traced the way I had come through the trees, heading for the safety of the mansion's wall in the distance. For a moment, I thought I picked up the sound of a child's voice calling my name. Was I abandoning my sister who needed me in her hour of need? I clenched my teeth and ran faster when something hit my back and I stumbled forward, twisting my ankle in the process. I scrambled a few feet away, then turned slowly and noticed he was still standing in the same spot.

With dread filling my heart, I looked into the one face I had been dreaming of my whole life, always forgetting upon waking up, only to remember later. It was one and the same reoccurring dream of an old woman and the pact she had signed. His face was more beautiful than I remembered it, his voice sounded as smooth as dripping honey, dark and melodious, and so very deadly. His dark eyes stared me down. They remind me of the dark puddles I avoided at night as a child in the fear I would fall into them and never get out.

"Shadow," I whispered to myself.

"I'm impressed that after so many centuries you still remember me." He inched closer and reached out. I stared at his outstretched hand but didn't take it, noticing the sheath bound around his hip, hiding a sword. I almost expected him to lunge at me and pull me up, maybe even drag me away kicking and screaming. But he didn't. His hand hovered a few inches away from me, brushing through the air as though to touch an invisible wall. A frown crossed his beautiful features, all pale skin smooth as marble and shiny, black eyes. His hair had changed from shoulder-length to a more contemporary cut, still black but with blonde spikes. It suited him, made him more ordinary looking, which was a dangerous combination because it made me feel as though I could outsmart him. But no one outsmarted a Shadow—and surely not Devon.

"What do you want from me?" My attempt at infusing confidence into my voice failed.

Devon smiled but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Do you want to kill me? Is that what you came for?" I continued.

"No blade of mine could kill you, Sofia," he said. "Or should I call you Esmeralda?"

The name rang true. That's how I had been called and yet I felt it didn't suit me anymore. I was the same soul, but my life had shaped me into a different person. Or maybe it was my mate's existence that made me strive to be someone else. I scrambled to my feet when a sharp pain pierced my swollen ankle. I winced inwardly and hoped the emotion wouldn't show on my face. "What are you here for?"

He kept staring, his black eyes irritating the hell out of me. Eventually, he reached beneath his cape and pulled out a shiny object dangling from a long chain, then tossed it toward me. I caught it in mid-air and twirled it around my fingers as I peered at the tiny moonstone carved in the form of a butterfly.

"Wear it," he said.

I cocked a brow. "Why?"

"Because it'll protect you."

"Who said I need protection?"

"Trust me, you'll do soon." His face remained unreadable, as though he wasn't even capable of feeling emotion.

My insides turned hot and cold. "What do you see?"

"That I can't tell you because it is not I who sees but our Queen. Deidre is the Seer. Don't you remember, Esmeralda?"

He was using my previous name deliberately, maybe to mock me, maybe to trigger the trust I had once felt toward me. I remembered him, but the trust I had once felt toward him was long gone now. "Queen Deidre."

More memories flooded my mind. I saw she had been beautiful, the only Shadow with black eyes and snow-white hair, which defied the Shadows' nature of black hair and black eyes that shined like liquid oil. I only glimpsed her once in her true form, many years before my fate befell me, but not long before she was turned into something abhorrent—a soul transferred into the body of a dying girl, trapped forever between life and death as she fed on her own people's life force. Upon hearing of her fate, I had felt sorry for her. Until she betrayed me. Instead of granting me a few more years to live and the chance to be reborn in exchange for my powers, she left me dying at the hands of the reaper who had been watching me for weeks, maybe even longer. In my hour of suffering, I despised both her and myself for trusting her people.

"You still haven't answered my question." I took a deep breath and pronounced every word slowly, as though speaking to a child. "What do you want from me?"

My tone displeased him for his eyes narrowed. He was used to being shown more respect, which I wasn't willing to give him. He had pulled a stunt on me centuries ago; if he ever wanted my trust again he would have to earn it.

"It's not a matter of what I want," he said softly. I groaned. The guy deserved a metal for his ability to talk in circles. "Come with me and we'll protect you from the evil that's after you." His gaze remained focused on me, intent to read my expression, as he reached out but didn't touch me. He was too composed, too forthcoming, as though he wanted me to believe he was giving me a choice. For a moment, I looked away to give him the impression I was actually considering his offer when all I could think of was ways to get the hell away from those eerie eyes.

"Still, what's in it for you?"

He sighed. "We see it as our duty to protect the weak and helpless."

Despite being mortal, weak was not a word I'd ever use to describe myself. I was a fighter who didn't take life for granted. How could he see me as weak? Fury boiled inside me. I raised my chin a notch to meet the surprised glint in his gaze. "I'd rather die than come with you." As my pulse quickened, the confusion in my mind began to lift. Why didn't he inch closer when I was at his mercy? The answer dawned on me quickly. Magic. I knew nothing about the vampires that lived in this house, or their abilities. But maybe teleporting wasn't the only thing they were capable of. Both Aidan and Amber didn't seem to feed on blood, and they both didn't shun the sun. They must've placed an invisible shield to form a perimeter around the property so no uninvited guest would cross it.

The knowledge gave me enough courage to take off through the trees toward the mansion rising against the morning sky. It wasn't so much 'taking off', more like limping at the pace of a snail. I dared a look back to see the Shadow staring after me. His face was a mask of surprise and anger. The air beneath him stirred and a girl appeared, her blonde hair swaying in the breeze giving the impression of a huge halo floating around her. She took a step forward and patted the air with pale hands as though to touch an invisible wall.

A ghost had no body and would just walk through such a barrier, which meant the girl was a Shadow, just like Devon. They had tried to deceive me yet again, and I almost fell for it because the moonlight had made it easy to mistake her face for my sister's.

My ankle throbbed but I only stopped when I reached the back door leading to the kitchen. Wincing, I leaned against the cold wall and pressed my palms against my knees as I watched the dark figure in the distance and the girl, barely more than a white blur, standing next to him.

I knew better than to test my new theory, and yet the questions burning on my tongue needed immediate answers. The sun hadn't risen yet but I could already see the moon disappearing behind the hills in streaks of gold and orange and copper. In the moonset, droplets of morning dew covered the grass and leaves. I buried my fingers into a nearby bush and then touched my face. The moisture invigorated me and soothed my cracked lips as I headed back for Devon, eager to find out whether I was right.

My legs moved swiftly, the pain in my ankle forgotten. As I approached, the girl moved away from me, a few steps at a time, as though she didn't want me to get too close to her. I stopped a few feet away from Devon, making sure I wasn't crossing the barrier that had protected me before.

"You came back." He smiled. It looked just as fake as before, plastered on his beautiful lips to lure me in and give me a false sense of trust and safety. I didn't fall for it.

"How do I unleash my powers?"

He cocked a brow. "You don't know?"

"If I knew I wouldn't be asking."

"You don't need to unleash them, Sofia. They're already there, waiting to be put to the test."

His answer took me by surprise and for a moment I just stared at him, searching his features for a giveaway that he was lying. "How do I use them then?"

"Come with me and we'll show you." He reached out again, his fingers pressed against the invisible shield.

I shook my head. "First answer, then I'll consider your offer."

"No. You need us more than we need you."

"What makes you say that?"

"Don't you want to be with your sister again?" He pointed behind him at the small figure peering at me from between the trees. Her hair swayed in a breeze I didn't feel, her white, baggy gown made her look frail and sick. I could make out the details on the hem and around her thin wrists, and yet I couldn't really see her face through the blur that seemed to envelop her.

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. "My sister's dead. The only way I could ever be with her is if I joined her in the afterlife."

"That's not true, and you know it," he said. "We could help you find a body and teach you to raise her."

I considered his words. Ever since Theo died I had wanted to know what happened to her. For a long time, I would've given anything to turn back the time so my baby sister wouldn't go out that fateful night in search of me. If I hadn't insisted on playing the gig and took a taxi like every human being in New York, she wouldn't have needed to leave the house. If I didn't tell her how much that gig meant to me, Theo would still be alive. I desperately wanted her to live, but raising the dead? It seemed so…wrong. So scary. Would I be creating the same person as before, or a dead copy of her former self? A zombie. I needed to know how to use my powers and what those powers entailed before making a decision.

"Just tell me how to use them," I said.

"Your voice is your most powerful weapon, but be careful what you speak for it might just come true."

I nodded, thankful for the advice. "What else?"

"Blood is the carrier of your powers, but it can't be any blood. Use it to ground yourself and for everything else that you wish to achieve."

My mind went wild. Pictures of an old woman dipping herbs into a puddle of blood and spreading it around her in a circle moved in front of my open eyes. I could see her shifting back and forth as though to soothe a crying child, but what she held in her arms wasn't a child. It was the lifeless carcass of an animal, something furry like a weasel, but I couldn't be sure because the head was cut off.

Bile rose in my throat. I bent forward and retched. I threw up a few times, nothing but bile. When I rose to my feet again, the pictures in my head were still there, but I felt better.

"You have strong memories," Devon said. I nodded and he continued, "Don't fight them because they're the key to your future." I cleared my throat to get rid of the scratchy sensation, ready to speak. He held up a hand to cut me off. "I'm a Shaman, not what you are, so that's about all I can teach you. However, we have others who know about your kind, and they will be happy to assist you. Come with me, Sofia."

Many years ago I would've joined him gladly. I couldn't now. "I'm staying."

"You need help if you want to gain control of your powers. The vampires in there can't help you. We can."

I shook my head defiantly. Two tiny lines formed around his mouth, but if my answer didn't please him he didn't say so.

"Don't you want to help your sister?" His tone became softer. Even though I could sense his bluff, my heart skipped a beat.

"She needs my help?"

He nodded. "She needs to leave that dreadful place. I see her in my dreams. She cries for you. She knows it's your fault, but she won't blame you if you help her return."

My anger flared. Theo's death was my fault, but he had no right to say it. It was a trick. No matter what hardship Theo might endure, deep in my heart I knew my baby sister would never think badly of me. Without a word I turned on my heel and walked back to the house. His gaze followed me, I felt it burning on my back long after I entered the kitchen to prepare myself breakfast. I wasn't hungry, but I knew I would soon need my entire strength for what lay before me.