CHAPTER 52

Dinner was barbecued chicken and creamed corn and green beans, all dishes Kyra had loved growing up. But now the food tasted like ash in her mouth. Nothing had been right for the last two days, not since Colin had gotten so angry with her. Even eating was a chore.

She put her fork down. She felt so confused, so irritable. Nothing made sense. She’d put so much trust in Colin and look what it had got her. She was feeling sorry for herself and lying to everyone else around her. No, I’m okay. No, no one hit me. I fell down the stairs. It happens to blind people all the time. Jesus, had it really come to this?

She remembered a girl she’d known in her real-world-skills class, blind like her, who was something of a wonder to the other girls because she dated a sighted boy, went out on real dates. The girl told Kyra one day how she’d made out with the boy on her parent’s couch, letting him take off her shirt, bra, and jeans, but stopping him at her panties. The boy hadn’t stopped, though. He got her panties off and stuck two fingers inside her. But the girl refused to call it rape. She said it was her fault, that she’d been wrong to lead the guy on like that. Kyra had gotten so disgusted at the girl’s self-deception that she refused to talk to her ever again. And at that moment, she’d promised herself she would live without her sight, but never without her self-respect, not like that girl. That really was blind.

And yet, here she was, dodging a boyfriend who had beaten her up. She was running scared instead of taking back her self-respect and doing something about it. Was she any different? She hadn’t told anybody. Well, nobody except Billy, of course, and look what that had gotten her. She hadn’t done anything about it. Instead, she ate when the pavilion was empty. She told them she was too sick to work. She’d started wearing sunglasses when she had to appear in public. Anything to avoid the truth.

But she had no idea what else to do. After what she’d heard the other day behind the office, she couldn’t even go to Jasper.

Why didn’t anything make sense?

She heard Colin’s voice behind her and stiffened.

“Where?” he asked. His voice sounded strained, urgent.

A voice she didn’t recognize said, “I don’t know. I saw her go that way.”

Kyra got up from the table and felt her way to the main aisle that divided the rows of picnic tables. From there, she walked as fast as she could toward the back of the pavilion. She stumbled on the first step, but didn’t fall. The lawn sloped downward toward the playground. She had a vague mental map of it, but she didn’t know this part of the camp very well, and the uncertainty of every step terrified her.

“Please,” she said, whimpering with every step.

“Kyra!”

“No. Oh, God, no!” For the first time in her adult life, she broke into a run.

The voice behind her turned from a shout to an angry hiss. “Kyra, Goddamn it. Stop!”

Her right foot collided painfully with a wooden log and she pitched forward into playground gravel. She threw her hands out reflexively and clutched fistfuls of small, rounded pebbles. Her foot was pulsing with pain, but she didn’t stop moving.

“Kyra, get back here.”

She rolled over onto her back and couldn’t stop gasping.

“Colin, no. Please.” She heard his footsteps coming closer. “Please, Colin. Leave me alone.”

“Where the hell have you been?”

She braced for the worst. In her mind, she had an image of him grabbing her hair and dragging her across the lawn. She thought, He’s gonna hurt me. Oh, Jesus, he’s gonna kill me.

Her body tensed in anticipation of the worst.

The blood was roaring in Colin’s head. His peripheral vision disappeared. The air around Kyra was sizzling, diffuse, like it was shot through with heat shimmers. There was only Kyra on her back, hands up in the air like she had a chance in hell of stopping this, her chest heaving.

The little bitch deserved a beating for putting him through this. Didn’t she know how good he could make things for her? Damn it, all he asked in return was a little respect.

“Colin, please,” she said.

But her whining only served to send him deeper into his rage. “Get up,” he said.

“Colin, no.”

“I said get up. Now. Get your ass up.”

His whole body was trembling with rage. He reached for her, but just as he was about to put his hands on her, he felt a hammer blow to the back of his knees that dropped him onto his ass.

He looked up and saw Billy Kline staring down at him.

“What in the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Colin said.

Billy ignored him. “Kyra, you okay?”

“Get the fuck out of here,” Colin said. “This isn’t any of your business, asshole.”

“Dude, you cuss a lot, man. You should watch your mouth.”

Colin jumped to his feet. His heart was beating like a wild bird in a cage. The skin of his face was tingling. There was no fear. There was only a red veil that had dropped over his vision and a terrible urge to tear Billy Kline’s eyes from the sockets. He ran at Billy and pushed him.

Billy grabbed his hands and twisted, and the next thing Colin knew, he was on his ass again.

“Motherfucker,” he said.

“Better stay down.”

Colin rushed him again. He swung wildly and the punch missed. Billy just disappeared, only to pop up far enough to Colin’s right that he couldn’t get turned around in time. Billy pumped his left twice to Colin’s face, knocking him backward and off balance. His legs felt like sand beneath him and the world went purple as he fell to the ground.

When he looked up, Billy was standing over Kyra, helping her to her feet.

Colin tried to stand and couldn’t.

“Goddamn it,” he yelled. “Motherfucker.”

Billy glanced back at him, but didn’t say anything. He put his arm around Kyra and the two of them walked away.

“No,” Colin shouted. “No!”

But there was nothing he could do. He couldn’t make his legs work, and the girl was gone. Fucking little bitch, he thought, sagging to the ground. You can’t do this to me.