CHAPTER 11
A LAST GOOD-BYE

E7, Haven City

Once they reached Haven, a squad of LEP foot soldiers boarded the shuttle to secure the prisoners. The police swaggered on board, barking orders. Then they saw Butler, and their cockiness evaporated like rainwater from a hot highway. They had been told that the human was big. But this was more than big. This was monstrous. Mountainous.

Butler smiled apologetically. “Don’t worry, little fairies. I have this effect on most humans too.”

The police breathed a collective sigh of relief when Butler agreed to go quietly. They could possibly have subdued him if he had put up a fight, but then the massive Mud Man might have fallen on someone.

The detainees were housed in the shuttleport’s executive lounge, evicting several grumbling lawyers and businessfairies. It was all very civil: good food, clean clothes (not for Butler), and entertainment centers. But they were under guard, nevertheless.

Half an hour later, Foaly burst in to the lounge.

“Holly!” he said, wrapping a hairy arm around the elf. “I am so happy that you’re alive.”

“Me too, Foaly.” Holly grinned.

“A little hello wouldn’t hurt,” said Mulch sulkily. “‘How are you, Mulch? Long time no see, Mulch. Here’s your medal, Mulch.’”

“Oh, all right,” said Foaly, wrapping the other hairy arm around the equally hairy dwarf. “Nice to see you too, Mulch, even if you did sink one of my subs. And no, no medal.”

“Because of the sub,” argued Mulch. “If I hadn’t done it, your bones would be buried under a hundred million tons of molten iron right now.”

“Good point,” noted the centaur. “I’ll mention it at your hearing.” He turned to Artemis. “I see you managed to cheat the mind wipe, Artemis.”

Artemis smiled. “A good thing for all of us.”

“Indeed. I’ll never make the mistake of trying to wipe you again.” He took Artemis’s hand and shook it warmly. “You’ve been a friend to the People. You too, Butler.”

The bodyguard was hunched on a sofa, elbows on knees. “You can repay me by building a room I can stand up in.”

“I’m sorry about this,” said Foaly apologetically. “We don’t have rooms for people your size. Sool wants you all kept here until your story can be verified.”

“How are things going?” asked Holly.

Foaly pulled a file from inside his shirt. “I’m not actually supposed to be here, but I thought you’d like an update.”

They crowded around a table while Foaly laid out the reports.

“We found the Brill brothers on the chute wall. They’re singing like stinkworms—so much for loyalty to your employer. Forensics have collected enough pieces of the stealth shuttle to prove its existence.”

Holly clapped her hands. “That’s it, then.”

“It’s not airtight,” corrected Artemis. “Without Opal, we could still be responsible for everything. The Brills could be lying to protect us. Do you have her?”

Foaly clenched his fists. “Well, yes and no. Her escape pod was ruptured from the blast, so we could trace it. But by the time we reached the crash-down site on the surface, she had disappeared. We ran a thermal on the area and isolated Opal’s footprints. We followed them to a small rustic homestead in the wine region near Bari. We can actually see her on satellite, but an insertion is going to take time to organize. She’s ours, and we will get her. But it may take a week.”

Holly’s face was dark with rage. “She’d better enjoy that week, because it will be the best of the rest of her life.”

Near Bari, Italy

Opal Koboi’s craft limped to the surface, leaking plasma gouts through its cracked generator. Opal was well aware that this plasma was as good as a trail of arrows for Foaly. She must ditch the craft as soon as possible and find somewhere to lay low until she could access some of her funds.

She cleared the shuttleport and made it nearly ten miles across country before her engines seized, utterly forcing her to ditch in a vineyard. When she clambered from the pod, Opal found a tall tanned woman of perhaps forty waiting for her with a shovel and a furious expression on her face.

“These are my vines,” said the woman in Italian. “The vines are my life. Who are you to crash here in your little airplane and destroy everything I have?”

Opal thought fast. “Where is your family?” she asked. “Your husband?”

The woman blew a strand of hair from her eye. “No family. No husband. I work the vines alone. I’m the last in the line. These vines mean more to me than my life, and certainly more to me than yours.”

“You’re not alone,” said Opal, turning on the hypnotic fairy mesmer. “You have me now. I am your daughter, Belinda.”

Why not? she reasoned. If it worked once . . .

“Bel-inda,” said the woman slowly. “I have a daughter?”

“That’s right,” agreed Opal. “Belinda. Remember? We work these vines together. I help make the wine.”

“You help me?”

Opal scowled. Humans never got anything the first time.

“Yes,” she said, barely concealing her impatience. “I help you. I work beside you.”

The woman’s eyes cleared suddenly. “Belinda. What are you doing standing there? Get a shovel and clean up this mess. When you finish here you must prepare dinner.”

Opal’s heart skipped a beat. Manual labor? Not likely. Other people did that sort of thing.

“On second thought,” she said, pushing the mesmer as hard as she could, “I am your pampered daughter Belinda. You never allow me to do any work in case it roughens my hands. You’re saving me for a rich husband.” That should take care of it. She would hide out with this woman for a few hours, and then escape to the city.

But a surprise was coming Opal’s way. “That’s my Belinda,” said the woman. “Always dreaming. Now take this shovel, girl, or you’ll go to bed hungry.”

Opal’s cheeks flushed red. “Didn’t you hear me, crone?

I do not do physical work. You will serve me. That is your purpose in life.”

The Italian lady advanced on her tiny daughter. “Now, listen here, Belinda. I’m trying not to hear these poisonous words coming out of your mouth, but it is difficult. We both work the vines; that is the way it has always been. Now, take the shovel, or I will lock you in your room with a hundred potatoes to peel and none to eat.”

Opal was dumbstruck. She could not understand what was happening. Even strong-minded humans were putty before the mesmer. What was happening here?

The simple truth was that Opal had been too clever for her own good. By placing a human pituitary gland in her own skull, she had effectively humanized herself. Gradually the human growth hormone was overpowering the magic in her system. It was Opal’s bad fortune that she had used her last drop of magic to convince this woman that she was her daughter. Now she was without magic, and a virtual prisoner in the Italian lady’s vineyard. And what’s more, she was being forced to work, and that was even worse than being in a coma.

“Hurry!” shouted the woman. “There is rain in the forecast, and we have a lot to do.”

Opal took the shovel, resting the blade on the dry earth. It was taller than she was, and its handle was pitted and worn.

“What should I do with this shovel?”

“Crack the earth with the blade, then dig an irrigation trench between these two frames. And after dinner, I need you to hand wash some of the laundry that I have taken in this week. It’s Carmine’s, and you know what his washing is like.” The lady grimaced, leaving Opal in no doubt as to the state of this person Carmine’s clothing.

The Italian lady picked up a second shovel and began to dig beside Opal.

“Don’t frown so, Belinda. Work is good for the character. After a few more years, you will see that.”

Opal swung the shovel, dealing the earth a pathetic blow that barely raised a sliver of clay. Already her hands were sore from holding the tool. In an hour she would be a mass of aches and blisters. Maybe the LEP would come and take her away.

Her wish was to be granted, but not until a week later, by which time her nails were cracked and brown, and her skin was rough with welts. She had peeled countless potatoes and waited on her new mother, hand and foot. Opal was also horrified to discover that her adopted parent kept pigs, and that cleaning out the sty was another one of her seemingly endless duties. By the time the LEP Retrieval team came for her, she was almost happy to see them.

E7, Haven City

Julius Root’s recycling ceremony was held the day after Artemis and Holly arrived in Haven City. All the brass turned up to the commitment ceremony. All the brass, but not Captain Holly Short. Commander Sool refused to allow her to attend the commitment, even under armed guard. The Tribunal investigating the case had not made its decision yet, and until it did, Holly was a suspect in a murder investigation.

So Holly sat in the executive lounge watching the commitment ceremony on the big screen. Of all the things Sool had done to her, this was the worst. Julius Root had been her closest friend, and here she was watching his recycling on a screen while all the higher-ups attended, looking sad for the cameras.

She covered her face with her hands when they lowered an empty casket into the ornate decomposition vat. After six months, his bone and tissue would have been completely broken down and his remains would be used to nourish the earth.

Tears leaked out between Holly’s fingers, flowing over her hands.

Artemis sat beside her, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Julius would have been proud of you. Haven is here today because of what you did.”

Holly sniffed. “Maybe. Maybe if I had been a little smarter, Julius would be here today, too.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think so. I have been thinking about it and there was no way out of that chute. Not without prior knowledge.”

Holly lowered her hands. “Thanks, Artemis. That’s a nice thing to say. You’re not going soft, are you?”

Artemis was genuinely puzzled. “I honestly don’t know. Half of me wants to be a criminal, and the other half wants to be a normal teenager. I feel like I have two conflicting personalities and a head full of memories that aren’t really mine yet. It’s a strange feeling, not to know who you are exactly.”

“Don’t worry, Mud Boy,” said Holly. “I’ll keep a close eye on you to make sure you stay on the straight and narrow.”

“I have two parents and a bodyguard already trying to do that.”

“Well then, maybe it’s time to let them.”

The lounge’s doors slid open, and Foaly clopped in excitedly, followed by Commander Sool and a couple of flunkies. Sool was obviously not as thrilled to be in the room as the centaur, and had brought the extra officers along just in case Butler got agitated.

Foaly grabbed Holly by the shoulders. “You’re clear.” He beamed. “The Tribunal voted seven to one in your favor.”

Holly scowled at Sool. “Let me guess who was the ‘one.’”

Sool bristled. “I am still your superior officer, Short. I want to see that reflected in your attitude. You may have escaped this charge, but I will be watching you like a hawk from now on.”

Mulch clicked his fingers in front of Foaly’s face. “Hey, ponyboy. Over here. What about me? Am I a free dwarf?”

“Well, the Tribunal decided to go after you for the grand theft auto.”

“What?” spluttered Mulch. “After I saved the entire city!”

“But,” continued Foaly, “considering the time already served for an illegal search, they’re prepared to call it even. No medal, I’m sorry to say.”

Mulch slapped the centaur’s haunch. “You couldn’t just say that, could you? You had to draw it out.”

Holly had not stopped scowling at Sool. “Let me tell you what Julius told me shortly before he died,” she said.

“Please do,” said Sool, his words dripping with sarcasm. “I find everything you say fascinating.”

“Julius told me, more or less, that my job was to serve the People, and that I should do that any way I could.”

“Smart fairy. I do hope you intend to honor those words.”

Holly ripped the LEP badge from her shoulder. “I do. With you looking over my shoulder on every shift, I won’t be able to help anyone, so I’ve decided to go it alone.” She tossed the badge on the table. “I quit.”

Sool chuckled. “If this is a bluff it won’t work. I’ll be glad to see the back of you.”

“Holly, don’t do this,” pleaded Foaly. “The force needs you. I need you.”

Holly patted his flank. “They accused me of murdering Julius. How can I stay? Don’t worry, old friend. I won’t be far away.” She nodded at Mulch. “Are you coming?”

“What, me?”

Holly grinned. “You’re a free dwarf now, and every private detective needs a partner. Someone with underworld connections.”

Mulch’s chest swelled. “Mulch Diggums, private detective. I like that. Hey, I’m not a sidekick, am I? Because the sidekick always gets it.”

“No. You’re a full-fledged partner. Whatever we make, we split.”

Holly turned to Artemis next. “We did it again, Mud Boy. We saved the world, or at least stopped two worlds colliding.”

Artemis nodded. “It doesn’t get any easier. Maybe someone else should take a turn.”

Holly punched him playfully in the arm. “Who else has our style?” Then she leaned in and whispered, “I’ll be in touch. Maybe you might be interested in some consultancy work?”

Artemis cocked one brow and gave a slight nod. It was all the answer she needed.

Butler usually stood to say good-bye, but in this instance, he had to make do with kneeling.

Holly was barely visible inside his hug.

“Until the next crisis,” she said.

“Or maybe you could just visit,” he replied.

“Getting a visa will be more difficult now that I’m a civilian.”

“You’re sure about this?”

Holly frowned. “No. I’m torn.” She nodded at Artemis. “But who isn’t?”

Artemis treated Sool to his most scornful gaze. “Congratulations, Commander, you have managed to alienate the LEP’s finest officer.”

“Listen here, human,” began Sool, but Butler growled and the words withered in the commander’s throat. The gnome stepped quickly behind the larger of his officers. “Send them home. Now.”

The officers drew their sidearms, aimed, and fired. A tranquilizer pellet stuck to Artemis’s neck, dissolving instantly. The officers hit Butler with four, not taking any chances.

Artemis could hear Holly protesting as his vision blurred like an Impressionist painting. Like The Fairy Thief.

“There’s no need for that, Sool,” she said, catching Artemis’s elbow. “They’ve seen the chute already. You could have returned them conscious.”

Sool’s voice sounded as though he were speaking from the bottom of a well. “I’m not taking any chances, Captain, I mean, Miss Short. Humans are violent creatures by nature, especially when they are being transported.”

Artemis felt Holly’s hand on his chest. Under his jacket, she slipped something into his pocket. But he couldn’t ask what, because his tongue would not obey him. All he could do with his mouth was breathe. He heard a thump behind him.

Butler’s gone, he concluded. Just me left.

And then he was gone too.

Fowl Manor

Artemis came to gradually. He felt well and rested, and all his memories were in place. Then again, maybe they weren’t. How would he know?

He opened his eyes and saw the fresco on the ceiling above. He was back in his own room.

Artemis did not move for several moments. It wasn’t that he couldn’t move, it was just that lying here like this seemed utterly luxurious. There were no pixies after him, or trolls homing in on his scent, or fairy tribunals judging him. He could lie here and simply think. His favorite occupation.

Artemis Fowl had a big decision to make: which way would his life go from here? The decision was his. He could not blame circumstances or peer pressure. He was his own person, and intelligent enough to realize it.

The solitary life of crime no longer appealed to him as completely as it had. He had no desire to create victims. Yet there was still something about the thrill of executing a brilliant plan that attracted him. Maybe there was a way to combine his criminal genius with his newfound morals. Some people deserved to be stolen from. He could be like a modern-day Robin Hood: steal from the rich and give to the poor. Well, maybe just steal from the rich. One step at a time.

Something vibrated in his jacket pocket. Artemis reached in and pulled out a fairy communicator. One of the pair they had planted in Opal Koboi’s shuttle. Artemis had a vague memory of Holly sliding something into his pocket just before he passed out. She obviously wanted to stay in touch.

Artemis stood, opening the device, and Holly’s smiling face appeared on the screen.

“You got home safely, then. Sorry about the sedatives. Sool is a pig.”

“Forget about it. No harm done.”

“You have changed. Once upon a time, Artemis Fowl would have vowed revenge.”

“Once upon a time.”

Holly glanced around her. “Listen, I can’t stay on long. I had to bolt on a pirate booster to this thing just to get a signal. This call is costing me a fortune. I need a favor.”

Artemis groaned. “No one ever calls me just to say hello.”

“Next time. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to it. What’s the favor?”

“Mulch and I have our first client. He’s an art dealer who’s had a picture stolen. Frankly, I’m flummoxed, so I thought I’d ask an expert.”

Artemis smiled. “I suppose I do have some expertise in the area of stolen art. Tell me what happened.”

“The thing is, there’s no way in or out of this exhibit without detection. The painting is just gone. Not even warlocks have that kind of magic.”

Artemis heard footsteps on the stairs. “Hang on a second, Holly. Someone’s coming.”

Butler burst in the door, pistol drawn. “I just woke up,” he said. “Are you all right?”

“Fine,” said Artemis. “You can put that away.”

“I was half hoping Sool was still here so I could scare him a little.” Butler crossed to the window and pulled aside the net curtains. “There’s a car coming up the avenue. It’s your parents back from the spa in Westmeath. We’d better get our stories straight. Why did we come home from Germany?”

Artemis thought quickly. “Let’s just say I felt homesick. I missed being my parents’ son. That’s true enough.”

Butler smiled. “I like that excuse. I hope you won’t need to use it again.”

“I don’t intend to.”

Butler held out a rolled-up canvas. “And what about this? Have you decided what you should do with it?”

Artemis took The Fairy Thief and spread it on the bed before him. It really was beautiful. “Yes, old friend. I have decided to do what I should do. Now, can you stall my parents at the door; I need to take this call.”

Butler nodded, running down the stairs three at a time.

Artemis returned to the communicator. “Now, Holly, about your little problem. Have you considered the fact that the picture you seek may still be in the room, and our thief may have simply moved it?”

“That’s the first thing I thought of. Come on, Artemis, you’re supposed to be a genius. Use your brain.”

Artemis scratched his chin. He was finding it difficult to concentrate. He heard tires crunching on the drive, and then his mother’s voice laughing as she climbed from the car.

“Arty?” she called. “Come down. We need to see you.”

“Come down, Arty boy,” shouted his father. “Welcome us home.”

Artemis found that he was smiling. “Holly, can you call me back later? I’m busy right now.”

Holly tried to scowl. “Okay. Five hours, and you’d better have some suggestions for me.”

“Don’t worry, I will. And also my consultant’s bill.”

“Some things never change,” said Holly, and closed the link.

Artemis quickly locked the communicator in his room safe, then ran to the stairs.

His mother was at the bottom of the steps, and her arms were open wide.