I was tired as hell, and the last thing I felt like doing was going into anyone’s mall, but the Christmas lights and decorations that I saw as I exited the Beltway onto Rockville Pike reminded me that I had to. Since the malls were open until eleven, I decided to get the last few gifts that I needed to complete my shopping. I had done well getting the majority of it over with during the two weeks I was off when I moved. I had, however, forgotten to pick up gifts for Brendan’s little brother, and for some reason I was feeling compelled to buy something for Nina.

Though I hadn’t spoken to her for almost two weeks, she was on my mind. I had only seen her once since we went to the movies. We’d met for a Sunday brunch at Hogate’s Restaurant on the waterfront. During that brunch we had had a chance to really get to talk and catch up. Without my asking she had told me everything that Shelly had been up to since we had parted ways.

Shelly was doing well for herself, according to Nina. She was a guidance counselor at a middle school in Takoma Park, Maryland, a largely Hispanic community in Maryland that is located just outside the D.C. line, and was preparing to work on her Ph.D. Shelly’s relationship with her daughter’s father, Eric, was up and down, as Nina put it. Eric didn’t seem to have the goals and motivation to match Shelly’s drive, she said, and it had become a constant source of friction between them. They had been dating for five years now and hadn’t gotten married yet. Shelly had her own townhouse in Wheaton and Eric was living at home with his mother. Knowing Shelly the way I did, I found that a little odd. When we were together all she ever talked about was being married. It was her dream to have a husband, three kids, and a nice home, she would always tell me. Now it seemed as if most of her dreams were centered around her career.

I had told Nina all about my relationship with Paula and how it had ended with my move. I didn’t bother to mention Darlene, who I had also been seeing pretty regularly on the side. She had been a great friend and a reliable sex partner. We had the kind of “no strings attached” relationship that most men long for. When I had told Darlene about my move she showed up at my house with three brand-new white dress shirts and three silk ties as a congratulatory and going away present. She had shown the kind of support that Paula hadn’t, and I had been really impressed. That was precisely the reason why Darlene would be coming up to spend a few days with me after the football season ended.

As for Nina’s situation, it appeared she was in a strained relationship that sounded like it was in trouble. The guy she was dating was separated from his wife and trying desperately to remain close to his children. His wife had become very adept at holding the children over his head as leverage, and Nina felt that his actions were indicating that he wouldn’t be able to handle a divorce, a custody battle, and a relationship with her as well.

Once she told me about her situation I had decided to back off a bit. I wasn’t sure where I would, or whether I should, fit into her life, anyway. Too much time had passed for me to try to come back and play the big brother routine. To be totally honest, though, Nina was just too damned fine. She reminded me of everything that Shelly had been, and then some. Brendan had told me in a long-distance conversation in the fall that he had bumped into Nina at the Taste of DC on Columbus Day weekend downtown, and that she was finer than Shelly had ever been at that age. I hadn’t believed him then, but now I’d seen for myself. After seeing her, I had to be honest with myself. I knew full well that if I spent much time with her, the physical attraction would surface, and who knew what kind of uncomfortable feelings might come from that scenario. I couldn’t bear the thought of hearing that she didn’t see me that way. I wasn’t quite sure of the proper way to bring up something that was basically improper: “Hey Nina, I know that I was nearly engaged to your sister back in the day, but I was wondering if maybe now you and I could…” I don’t think so. That was some Jerry Springer–type drama.

At any rate, I had planned to call her on Christmas Day to wish her a merry one and invite her to stop by and pick up the gift I had gotten for her. As I exited the car and walked hurriedly toward the mall entrance, I laughed at myself for the changes that I was going through just to have an excuse to see Nina again.

Christmas Morning

Merry Christmas, Paula,” I said, as I answered the phone. I’d paged her just fifteen minutes earlier. We hadn’t spoken in more than a month, and I was curious how I would be received. Getting established at work had kept me really busy, and I had also been caught up in the excitement of being home. In the previous month I had done a lot. I knew that none of this would be legitimate justifications to Paula for not contacting her, and I was prepared for a tongue lashing, and maybe even a little cursing. Paula was in Atlanta, but she was from Chicago’s South Side and had never lost that edge, which was available for show to anyone who got her wrong. I figured that I had most definitely fallen into that category, so I was shocked when she replied softly.

“Merry Christmas to you too, stranger.” There was a pause, then she went on. “So how has everything been going for you and your family?”

“Well, very well thanks, and what about you?” I replied, still a little off balance.

“Cory, do you need to know how things are with me? Do you even need to ask?” Her tone was beginning to change a little, into more of what I had expected. She breathed deeply, and then added, “Cory, you hurt me when you left, and also by your lack of remorse for hurting me, but like I said before, I knew that you’d leave me someday…I always knew. But if you want to know the truth, I don’t regret loving you one bit. As a matter of fact, your leaving helped me realize something that I wouldn’t have had you never left.”

“What’s that?” I asked, bracing myself for a sharp answer.

“I realized that only because I had you in my life was I able to stay with Marvin as long as I did. I know now that my happiness has to come first, and having all of the material things like this house, these cars, and the clothes, none of them have been able to make me truly happy. They do take your attention off being unhappy for the moment, but in no way are they the answer. That’s why I’m leaving Marvin. Not for you, but for me.”

“You’re leaving him?”

“Yes. After the holidays I’ll be out of here.”

“So you’ve told him?” I asked.

“No, not yet. I didn’t want to ruin the holiday season. His mother is staying at the house through New Year’s Eve, but I’ve already gotten my divorce papers drawn up. They will be served on the third of January.”

“I’m stunned, Paula. I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, Cory. You can tell me that you still love me, though.”

“Of course I do.”

“Then say it, Cory. I need to hear you say it.”

Her tone had me feeling extremely pressured, but I pushed the words effortlessly out of my mouth: “I do still love you, Paula.” What was strange, though, was that when the words came out of my mouth, the image of Nina’s face popped into my mind.

“Well, seeing is believing, Cory, but I gotta run. We can talk later. Now, where can I reach you?”

I gave her my numbers, and she quickly wrote them down. After quick good-byes she blew a kiss through the line, and we hung up.

Things had gone better than I had imagined. There had been no hysterical ranting, and I was off the line, having been allowed to enjoy the rest of my Christmas Day without guilt.

I hung up the phone and immediately dialed Nina’s apartment.

The phone rang once and a male voice answered it. “Hello, I mean, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas. Is Nina available?” I asked, hoping I wouldn’t be causing a big fuss if this was her friend. If it was, he needed to be home with his kids, not babysitting Nina on Christmas morning.

“Nina just ran to the store to get some batteries. She’ll be back soon. Can I tell her who called?”

“Yeah, tell her that Cory called.”

“Cory? Okay. I’ll have her call you as soon as she gets back. Does she have your number? Well, it’s on the caller ID if she doesn’t have it,” he said, being as polite as possible. Then I heard someone in the background saying, “C. Dandridge? Is that Cory Dandridge? Let me see that telephone.” I heard a voice in the background ask, “Cory, is this Cory Dandridge?”

I knew the voice. It was Shelly. My heart dropped completely into my stomach this time. “Yeah, this is me. Shelly?” I said, trying to sound unsure if it was her voice, but I was sure she knew I had recognized it. She was my first love, the one that was supposed to last a lifetime, and everyone knows you don’t forget that voice—ever.

“Cory, what are you doing calling Nina to wish her Merry Christmas? She hasn’t heard from you in years, and neither have I, for that matter? And the caller ID has you listed with a Maryland phone number. Have you moved back to the area?” she asked, in a voice that indicated a lot of wonder. Nina obviously hadn’t mentioned that she’d seen me, let alone been out with me twice. I was glad she had kept our secret, but now I had to think on my toes and come up with something.

“Actually, Shelly, I have moved back to the area. Nina must have forgotten that she gave me her number. I told her I was going to call some time ago. I saw her probably…let me see, it must have been sometime around Thanksgiving or sometime close to then.” I closed my little cover-up with, “I told her that I would catch up with her sooner or later to see how you guys were doing, and what better day than Christmas, ya know what I’m saying?” It was the best I could do.

She just said, “Oh, uh huh. Well, that’s nice of you to think of us, Cory.” She was suspicious. I smelled disaster, and I knew why. Shelly knew me well. She knew that when I’m nervous or lying I always say “Ya know what I’m saying?” Then she said, “It has been a long time, Cory. Many Christmases have gone past, but it’s nice to hear from you. You and your family are doing well, I hope.”

“Most definitely, everyone is wonderful, and I am doing well. I can’t complain.” I wanted to say “Does a hundred grand–plus a year sound like I’m doing well? I’m pushing a Beemer with TVs in it. I’m in better shape than you would ever remember. I’m doing damn good, and when you see me you will know that you made the biggest mistake of your life by walking out on me. Now look at that broke nigga you got.” But of course I couldn’t say that. “So, you came to visit Nina this morning. That’s nice.”

“No, actually she transferred her calls to my house. When she got here I wasn’t dressed and Amani needed some batteries for her Roller Baby doll’s RollerBlades, wouldn’t you know. She also needed some for Amani’s V-Tech laptop, so she ran to the 7–11 for us.”

“Did you say laptop, as in computer?”

“Yes. It is for kids, though. It has spelling and math drills on it. It even has a mouse to go with it. It’s really cute.” Shelly laughed. Then I heard someone in the background talking to her. Shelly said, “Hey, I need to run now. Duty calls, but I’ll tell Nina that you called us. We’re all doing fine as well, so take care of yourself and tell your mom and sister that I wished them a Merry Christmas, okay?”

“Okay, sure thing. You take care, too.” After we hung up, I thought about how Shelly had basically said that there was no need for me to call back now that I had spoken to her. At least, that’s what I got out of it. It’s not that she had to come right out and say it. It was just the attitude I had detected when she said that I had called them, and that they were doing fine. Shelly still had enough nerve for two women, and the reasons why we eventually fell out began to come back to me.

Two hours passed, and I was just about to get dressed to go to my sister’s house and take all of their gifts to them, when Nina called back from her cellphone. She sounded really upset.

“What’s wrong? Did I mess up by calling you?” I asked, feeling as though I had made a big mistake.

“It’s not your fault, Cory.” She was upset, and just like her sister it made her accent more pronounced.

“What happened? Did she accuse you of something?”

I heard her sniffle before she spoke, and I didn’t want to believe that I had caused her a bunch of strife. “Cory, when I came back from the store she pulled me back into the kitchen and started talking casually. She was setting me up. She started asking me about my ex-boyfriends. She was saying shit like ‘Don’t the holidays make you kind of remember old times, like when you dated Jonathan or Manuel?’”

“I was like, yeah, sort of. Then she asked me if I ever wondered how any of them were doing. I told her that I talk to Manuel’s aunt sometimes when I go to the dentist’s office. She’s, like, the receptionist at my dentist’s office.” Nina was talking so fast, I had to tell her to slow down. She did, and kept talking. “Cory, the bitch is so slick. She was setting me up, because after I talked about Manuel for a few moments, she came out of the blue and made a comment about wondering what you were up to. I had no idea that you’d just called or even would call today. I had transferred my calls to her house, and I never would have done that. Shit, Cory, I haven’t heard from you in two weeks, and when I left messages, you didn’t call back. I figured that after we went to brunch and you didn’t give me your home number then, that you obviously didn’t want me to call. So anyway, when she said that she wondered what you were up to, I slipped up and said, ‘Me, too.’”

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yeah, I did.” Nina went on to describe how Shelly had just nailed her by announcing that she had heard that I was back in the area. Nina said that when her response was “Really?” as if she had no idea, Shelly’s expression had turned ice cold. Then she had led Nina to the caller ID and told her I had called. She had played her little sister like a drum. Shelly drilled Nina for ten minutes straight. She wanted to know why she had lied and acted as if she didn’t know anything about my being back, and about seeing me. When Nina had produced no answers, Shelly accused her of always having had a crush on me, and lit into her about her motives. When Eric came up the stairs and heard the two of them arguing, he’d asked why they were arguing. Nina, in her rage and defensive stance, told him that she and Shelley were arguing over my call.

Then Eric flew into a rage himself. He wanted to know why in the hell Shelly was so concerned, and said that after five years it shouldn’t matter to her one way or the other. He told Shelly that if Nina and I were getting married tomorrow, it would be absolutely none of her business. He added that if Nina and I were comfortable being friends on any level, then all Shelly can do is stay out of it. Shelly, never one to go easy, wasn’t having it. She proceeded to curse out Nina and Eric. As soon as Amani lay down for a nap, more than an hour after things had died down, Shelly started again. She eventually threw both Eric and Nina out. Before she asked Nina to leave she turned to her baby sister and said, “I don’t know why you would keep something from me, Nina, for any reason other than you’re fucking Cory. If you are you’d better be careful, because he is a dog, just like Nate. I won’t mention it again, though, and I just hope that you have more class than to be hanging around with my leftover.”

Nina expressed to me how hurt she had been by Shelly’s words. She’d been especially stung by her hope that Nina possessed enough class not to date me. She said that she, like Eric, didn’t think that there was anything wrong with us hanging out together. She added, “It’s not like we’re fucking or anything, right Cory?” she asked.

I didn’t answer that, but I did convey to Nina my dismay at being referred to by Shelly as her “leftover.” If anything, she was my leftover. I had taught that girl everything about life and relationships that she needed to know. And shit, as far as sex went, there had been no uncharted territory left for her to discover by the time we had split up.

I had forgotten that Nina was on her cellphone until I heard a horn honk. I asked where she was headed. When she replied that she didn’t know and that she was just driving, I gave her my address and convinced her to stop by, even if it was just for a little while. She agreed to come after I assured her it would be no inconvenience. If she only knew, I thought. When she arrived less than fifteen minutes later, I greeted her at the door with a hug.

When she entered my apartment, she nodded her head in approval. “This is a nice apartment, Cory,” she said.

“Thanks,” I said.

“It must cost a fortune to live here. Rockville is so expensive, anyway. I didn’t think they were recruiting our kind up in this neck of the woods.” She smiled. Then she added, “But I guess if you’re making enough papers to afford a spot out here, then you must be okay, huh.”

“Maybe,” I answered, smiling back. “Or maybe I just know somebody who is somebody.”

She walked around the love seat and sat down on the couch with her coat still on. “Let me take your coat,” I said. I put it on the back of one of the dining room chairs. As I walked back into the living room I turned the TV volume down and cranked up the CD player.

“So Cory, what’s up?” She said, as she looked right into my face.

“Nothing much. I just wanted to make sure you were okay, and I have a little something for you. Hold tight,” I said, as I walked over to my dining room table, reached into a shopping bag, pulled out two boxes that were wrapped identically, and walked back over to Nina and sat down next to her.

“Cory, I can’t take a gift from you. I wouldn’t feel right, not having anything for you.” She paused, and went on. “I didn’t get to do much shopping for anyone this year, except for my mother and Amani. I was so broke, Cory. Why in the world would you buy me a gift? You haven’t even called me, and…”

I cut her off midsentence. “Look here, Nina. It’s not about what you have for me. I bought you something because I wanted to, because I knew that you deserved something nice. I don’t know what your man got you, but I knew that you deserved more.”

“I don’t have a man anymore, Cory,” she said, in a tone that didn’t reveal whether or not she was happy about it.

“Whatever. It doesn’t make a bit of difference to my giving you something. I just wanted you to have these things. Now open them up and stop talking,” I commanded.

She just looked at me as she began to open them. I stopped her, and said, “No here, this one first.” She obliged me. When she opened it, her eyes showed her pleasure as she pulled the last piece of wrapping paper off a bottle of Bvlgari perfume.

“Oh man, Cory, this is wonderful.” She was smiling. “I have been wanting some of this for a while, but it is very expensive. You shouldn’t have, but I am glad you did.” She laughed and said, “Thank you so much.”

“Go ahead and open that one,” I said, pointing to the bigger box.

She quickly pulled the wrapping off to reveal a purse. She just shook her head and said, “Cory, I can’t believe you did this for me. It’s a Coach. It’s gorgeous. Thank you so much. This is the sweetest thing that anyone has done for me in a really long time.”

As I looked at her surveying the bag, I stared at her pretty lips. She had on nothing but lip gloss, and that was all the makeup she needed. She was so naturally beautiful. I still didn’t know what I was doing with her. While I was still looking at her she jumped up and walked to the balcony door. “Look, Cory, it’s starting to snow. Can you believe that?”

“Yeah, the weatherman has been calling for snow the past two days. It’s coming down pretty thick, too.”

“Do you think it will stick?” she asked.

“I don’t know. It’s definitely cold enough. I probably should try and get out of here. I need to run to my sister’s house to drop off the gifts for the kids, and afterward my mother is making Christmas dinner.” I looked back outside, and there was no way I was going to do a bunch of running around in this weather. I figured that I could call Brenda to meet me at Mom’s, and that way I could kill two birds with one stone. She walked back over to where I was still standing, in front of the glass door.

“Cory, do you want some company with you while you ride? I’m not going to my mother’s. I already called her from the car and told her that I wouldn’t be coming over for dinner.”

“Sure, I’d like that a lot as a matter of fact, and I know my mom would love to see you again. But did you tell your mother why you wouldn’t be coming?”

“Somewhat. I didn’t go into the full details, but I just don’t feel like going another round with Shelly right now.”

“I understand,” I said.

After a short pause Nina took hold of my arm and asked, “Cory, why if you hadn’t bothered to call me, did you go through the hassle of buying me those gifts? Or did you buy them for someone else?”

I was a little shocked, and quickly answered. “Of course I bought them for you. If I had gotten them for someone else would I be handing them to you? They were for you. I saw them and I just wanted to give you something. Don’t make such a big deal out of it and spoil it for me, okay. As long as you like them, that is all that matters, right?”

Nina nodded her head, I think in response to me—and in time to the music. She was still holding my arm. “Cory.”

“Yes.”

“I have something for you, too. But I don’t want you to think I’m giving it to you because you bought me the gifts. If you had called me in the past couple of weeks, I’m sure I would have given it to you already. But since you didn’t call me or return my pages…”

“Nina, I had gotten a new pager from my job…”

“Shhhhhh.” She said, now holding my hand with one of hers. With the other hand, she placed a finger on my lips. “Now close your eyes,” she added.

I obeyed her request, and my eyes shut immediately. Her hand went behind my head and onto the back of my neck as she pulled my mouth to hers. Her lips melted onto mine, and they were a perfect fit. I can’t believe I’m kissing Shelly’s little sister, I thought. I could remember when she was a skinny little teenager with nubs on her chest and the skinniest little legs. Now she was kissing me, and I was kissing her back just as passionately. My hands were on her waist and both of hers were around my neck.

We stayed locked together for at least ten minutes, kissing like two teenagers in the back seat of a car. When we finally pulled away I asked her if she was sure about what she had done. When she kissed me again and began to unbutton my shirt I knew that she was. Clothing dropped to the floor, and before I knew it I was sitting on my couch with Nina on my lap facing me. She stared into my eyes while she started to grind and slide on top of me. She hadn’t bothered to take her panties off. With one hand I slid them to the side and entered her. I could feel the wet material of her underwear between our bodies. I took both of her breasts in my mouth at the same time. She threw her head backward and gave me a loud moan to let me know that she liked the feeling. Our bodies moved fast, then slow, for the next ten minutes, until her breaths became rapid. I knew she was ready to come, and she started crying out in Spanish the same way Shelly used to. I felt her hands reaching down between my legs caressing me as she jerked and came. When her muscles clamped down and squeezed me I couldn’t take any more, and I came inside of her.

The connection between Nina and me made my Christmas in ways that no material gift could have. I thought it was a little strange that afterward we both seemed to feel fine about having sex—for the most part. I did feel a twinge of guilt at having been with the younger sister of my ex-fiancée. At the same time I had to admit that something so taboo was a bit of a turn-on. It was one of those things that might cross the mind of a man, though he would never intend to act on it. I had found out something about myself, since I had seized the opportunity. I obviously had a problem with respecting boundaries, but was hoping I could put my emotions and libido in check before the situation got out of hand. The lovemaking was good—but not “mind blowing” good. When a girl blows your mind the first time she has sex with you, she’s trouble. At least, that was my personal belief. Either she’s too experienced or you’re too inexperienced for her, was my philosophy on that matter. With Nina there seemed to be comfortable room for improvement. I knew she had held back a little, and I liked that. She was going to make me work to get her all.

She went with me to dinner at my mother’s house. We had a great time, as the snow continued to fall. Brenda was the only one who seemed puzzled about Nina being there with me. I saw that she repeatedly shot looks at me as if to say “What the hell is going on?” I ignored her, because I was feeling good, and so was Nina. At that point, that was all that mattered to me.

Brendan and Laney showed up for dessert, and he brought his little brother, Kenny, to play with Kyle. Brendan’s parents lived two streets over, and he made it over easily, though the weather seemed to be getting worse. He was riding with Laney because he said that he didn’t trust his Corvette in the snow. I couldn’t blame him one bit, as I wasn’t used to driving in the slushy streets anymore myself. When it was almost nine o’clock, Brenda announced that she was spending the night rather than driving home. I decided that it was getting late and was time for me to head home; plus, I was hoping to see if Nina would be in the mood to repeat our earlier escapade.

As I drove slowly around the Beltway, Nina fell asleep. I took the opportunity to call Nate, who was spending the day with Sahleen and his grandmother. I told him who I was with, and he had a million and one questions about Nina and me. I tried to speak in code, just in case Nina woke up. Nate finally gave up the hope of getting the entire story right then and there. He told me about his day’s events. He had spent the morning with India, and then told her he was headed out of town to have dinner with family so that he could have an undisturbed evening with Sahleen. It had worked for him as usual, and he and Sahleen were headed to Crystal City to Sahleen’s apartment to do a little “stocking stuffing,” he said. I hung up with Nate and saw that Nina was still sleeping. I had questions about where this was headed, but I wasn’t afraid of the possibilities.

For a second, Paula popped into my head, and I hoped that she was doing well. I wondered if she had gotten the gift that I’d sent to her office. I also thought about Darlene and wondered who she was spending the holiday with. I hoped that they both were doing fine, but they were six hundred miles away and by no means my primary concern. Nina was there next to me, and that meant a lot. As a matter of fact, I kept thinking over and over that her being there was all that mattered. She had been on my mind ever since I saw her that first night. I had been curious about Shelly, true enough, but the satisfaction that I felt looking over at Nina made me realize she was definitely who I wanted. I had tried not to admit it to myself during the previous month, but I was now prepared to admit it to Nina as soon as she woke up. I only hoped that now, since her curiosity had been satisfied, she wouldn’t be through with me, because if I had my way, I definitely wasn’t through with her.